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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF. DSD, DSDs mum and dog

982 replies

Purplewishes · 24/08/2021 20:31

Currently on mat leave with twins, also have a toddler and DSD13 who stays between 2-4 nights a week depending on what she wants to do.

Have a great relationship with DSD and been in her life since she was 4 and usually have a good relationship with her mum.

DSD has a dog at her mum's, it's a small dog, unsure of the breed, it's yappy and it's not house trained and still pees and shits in the house. (DSD tells me this) I am not a great lover of dogs (traumatic experience when I was younger so please don't let the dog lovers hate me) anyway DSD has been talking a lot recently about her dog and she should bring it to meet the twins (?) Obv met with a laugh and "no chance"

I got a message from her mum a few days ago "Hiya, just a random question, are you a dog person?" To which I replied no. She then messaged back and said "oh well if you want to take the dog this weekend for us then I'm sure you will become one" She has a weekend away with her partner that has been booked for ages (which we obv knew about for childcare for DSD) I messaged her back joking and said no way. A few messages back and forth and she explained that her dog care had fallen through at the last min and she's really stuck.
She said that she either will need to cancel the weekend or that me and DSD would need to travel back and forward to her house twice a day to walk the dog so that would be two half hour round trips. I said no that I would be busy and she Jokingly said it would give me something to do while on mat leave

Also to note DSD will be in school on the Thurs and friday so her mum would be expecting me, the toddler and the twins to all take the journey to walk the dog ourselves.

Spoke to DSD who has been begging me to allow the dog to come and I was starting to feel a bit guilty and was starting to consider it UNTIL she let the cat out of the bag and said her mum had never booked dog care in the first place and had told DSD the dog would always be coming with her to our house.

AIBU to just sit and laugh knowing there's not a fuckin chance in the world I'm doing it now

OP posts:
heldinadream · 27/08/2021 06:57

New fred new fred - need a new fred soon - call it - The Saga of Dogzilla and Voldepup and Awesome OP Part 2.

BedknobsNoBroomsticks · 27/08/2021 07:10

Placemarking for a link to the new thread.

As soon as DH found out about the dog being left at home he should have contacted the Ex and told her it was unacceptable. But instead he is trying to pass thr responsibility onto OP. So good on you @Purplewishes for not helping her DH.

WaterBottle123 · 27/08/2021 07:16

So did the 5.30am wake up happen?

BruceAndNosh · 27/08/2021 07:26

@WaterBottle123

So did the 5.30am wake up happen?
The OP told them not to wake her.
RobinsReliant · 27/08/2021 07:27

@milkyaqua

Take the dog to a kennel, or a vets, for boarding. This is animal cruelty otherwise.

Refusing to roll over for a CF is one thing, this is a whole other level. I can only assume no-one in your family including DH has ever had a dog, or you would not imagine this is okay to leave the dog on its own for three or four days or more, with only walks provided by way of company.

This.
diddl · 27/08/2021 07:34

So if dog is having an early walk it might need two walks &/or let outs before it's walked again by daughter after school.

Idk about SD & if she has played any part.

She's 13-should she have said sooner about nothing being organised & her mum just planning to dump the dog anyway?

Perhaps she's not very aware?

diddl · 27/08/2021 07:37

If it was just as easy as take the dog to kennels & CF pay, I'm sure that that would have been done as I & others have said, the dog needs to have been vaccinated & it's usually/often pay up front.

Original poster
Purplewishes · 27/08/2021 07:57

Morning troops, I was up at 6.30 with the gruesome twosome, no sign of DH and DSD so unless they have ran away during the night voldepup has had its morning walk!

OP posts:
PunishmentSnart · 27/08/2021 08:01

Voldepup 😂😂

diddl · 27/08/2021 08:02

Is the dog being walked again befpre SD can get there after school?

WildfirePonie · 27/08/2021 08:06

@Purplewishes

Text DSD to see where she was

"Had to come home TO WALK THE DOG"

to walk the fuckin dog.

And I'm out. Told DH am taking fuck all to do with it

I would think she's rude and PA for sending this text with the part in caps.

That would really ruffle my feathers!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/08/2021 08:27

The OP has already said the capitals were her highlighting for our benefit, not what the DSD actually wrote.

MayorGoodwaysChicken · 27/08/2021 08:32

DH already bitching about the 6 trips back and forth on Saturday and Sunday. He's now trying to gently coax me I to helping so in turn I'm going to be a dick and fuck off out on Saturday and make him take the toddler and twins just for the banter.

I wish all CF threads had an OP like you. Please make another thread when this one fills, it’s very entertaining (for those of us who aren’t actually having to deal with the yappy wee fucker Grin)

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 27/08/2021 08:52

The dogs being left alone for 4 nights? My dogs would hate that! Poor bugger (not your fault though!)

Mix56 · 27/08/2021 09:01

Please insist that Dh/Dd do not clear up any mess the dog makes.
Once this CF woman is back, DH tells her if she ever attempts to put you in this situation again the dog will be taken to a refuge, & hopefully adopted by someone who actually cares about dogs

diddl · 27/08/2021 09:09

@Mix56

Please insist that Dh/Dd do not clear up any mess the dog makes. Once this CF woman is back, DH tells her if she ever attempts to put you in this situation again the dog will be taken to a refuge, & hopefully adopted by someone who actually cares about dogs
Surely that's up to them?

It's the house that SD lives in so she might want to clean up!

prettybird · 27/08/2021 09:11

Can't believe that there are still one or two posters who believe that a dog-phobic , mother of not one but two newborns and and toddler should let a non house trained dog come to stay (and/or walk it regularly) and who had clearly said that she wasn't in a position to help, should nevertheless still do so just to be nice ShockHmmConfused

No wonder some women have difficulty asserting boundaries Sad

I think purplewishes has done exactly the right thing Thanks: it's her dh's and his dd's (her dsd) problem and responsibility to dealt with. Enjoy your manicure Smile

LittleBiscuit09 · 27/08/2021 09:16

There are people who come and house sit for the dogs. She is a CF

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 27/08/2021 09:18

@Mix56

Please insist that Dh/Dd do not clear up any mess the dog makes. Once this CF woman is back, DH tells her if she ever attempts to put you in this situation again the dog will be taken to a refuge, & hopefully adopted by someone who actually cares about dogs
Don't do this. It's not the dog's fault and it's not fair to leave him in a shitty, pissy house while he's already being abandoned by the CFer
frazzledasarock · 27/08/2021 09:52

I agree with regards cleaning the house, it's got nothing to do with OP, and is completely up to her DH and DSD.

The ex will return to a shit tip however as nobody will have the time or inclination to clean properly I imagine.

From this point in OP's shoes I'd say and do nothing.

dexterslockedintheshedagain · 27/08/2021 09:55

DH already bitching about the 6 trips back and forth on Saturday and Sunday. He's now trying to gently coax me I to helping so in turn I'm going to be a dick and fuck off out on Saturday and make him take the toddler and twins just for the banter.

I think I love you!

diddl · 27/08/2021 10:06

@dexterslockedintheshedagain

DH already bitching about the 6 trips back and forth on Saturday and Sunday. He's now trying to gently coax me I to helping so in turn I'm going to be a dick and fuck off out on Saturday and make him take the toddler and twins just for the banter.

I think I love you!

Why just the Saturday?

What could be nicer than a walk with all of his kids?

And it'll be a doddle for him as he won't be alone.

Viviennemary · 27/08/2021 10:14

I dont like dogs and dont allow dogs in my house. Tell them to put it in kennels. If you do it next time it will be a week then it might even prefer your house and you'll be stuck with it forever.

Battytwatty · 27/08/2021 10:40

@Viviennemary. Did you bother to read the thread or just read OPs post then comment?! The thread has moved on over 38 pages

Kisskiss · 27/08/2021 10:44

Badly behaved humans need training too - hopefully the dog pisses and shits all over her house, will teach her not to do something like this again .

And nobody should clean it up, the dog will just find a new clean spot to rest in, they aren’t stupid animals!

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