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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF. DSD, DSDs mum and dog

982 replies

Purplewishes · 24/08/2021 20:31

Currently on mat leave with twins, also have a toddler and DSD13 who stays between 2-4 nights a week depending on what she wants to do.

Have a great relationship with DSD and been in her life since she was 4 and usually have a good relationship with her mum.

DSD has a dog at her mum's, it's a small dog, unsure of the breed, it's yappy and it's not house trained and still pees and shits in the house. (DSD tells me this) I am not a great lover of dogs (traumatic experience when I was younger so please don't let the dog lovers hate me) anyway DSD has been talking a lot recently about her dog and she should bring it to meet the twins (?) Obv met with a laugh and "no chance"

I got a message from her mum a few days ago "Hiya, just a random question, are you a dog person?" To which I replied no. She then messaged back and said "oh well if you want to take the dog this weekend for us then I'm sure you will become one" She has a weekend away with her partner that has been booked for ages (which we obv knew about for childcare for DSD) I messaged her back joking and said no way. A few messages back and forth and she explained that her dog care had fallen through at the last min and she's really stuck.
She said that she either will need to cancel the weekend or that me and DSD would need to travel back and forward to her house twice a day to walk the dog so that would be two half hour round trips. I said no that I would be busy and she Jokingly said it would give me something to do while on mat leave

Also to note DSD will be in school on the Thurs and friday so her mum would be expecting me, the toddler and the twins to all take the journey to walk the dog ourselves.

Spoke to DSD who has been begging me to allow the dog to come and I was starting to feel a bit guilty and was starting to consider it UNTIL she let the cat out of the bag and said her mum had never booked dog care in the first place and had told DSD the dog would always be coming with her to our house.

AIBU to just sit and laugh knowing there's not a fuckin chance in the world I'm doing it now

OP posts:
IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 26/08/2021 20:49

Xpost ungoogled. Great minds, eh?

Pleaseaddcaffine · 26/08/2021 20:50

If he brings the dog op leave him, cause it would be a capital offence

UnGoogled · 26/08/2021 20:54

@IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves

Xpost ungoogled. Great minds, eh?
I'm so bloody invested in this! I hate boundary tramplers!
Original poster
Purplewishes · 26/08/2021 21:06

@ungoogled if DH brings that dog to the house he will receive a flying fucking drop kick right back out the door and be spending the night in the kennel cuddled into dog for warmth.

I've told DSD and DH that the dog is now to be treated like lord Voldemort and no longer named in this house coz I am fucking sick to death about hearing about it

OP posts:
WhoIsPepeSilva · 26/08/2021 21:06

[quote Purplewishes]@wakeywakey86 ahhh but if DH takes DSD and the toddler and twins on sat and Sunday then I will be ALONE so the ex may have actually just made my weekend.

Not one child in sight for at least an hour and a half. I will be able to lie on my living room floor, ignore all house work, stare at the ceiling and enjoy silence.

So ex might have fucked DH weekend but I will be making the most of it. May even have extra wine tomorrow to celebrate[/quote]
Chortle Grin

To the PP who suggested opening all internal doors to let the dog run riot, I'd worry he'd eat something that would cause him harm like an earring or chew a fabric that gets caught up on it's way through.

In all honesty I wouldn't rush to the conclusion that any areas ex has left open for the dog would be safe since she's shown zero concern over his welfare while she's off galivanting.

TopBlogger · 26/08/2021 21:14

@MNHQ - surely for Classics, especially for the OP's brilliant replies!!

UnGoogled · 26/08/2021 21:14

Ahh excellent OP. Dogzilla owns Voldepup. Brilliant. You've got this under control, clearly. Grin

BruceAndNosh · 26/08/2021 21:18

Voldepup

Brilliant!

SenselessUbiquity · 26/08/2021 21:25

What happened to the football, OP?

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 26/08/2021 21:27

I don't blame you for not cracking OP but do feel very sorry for the poor dog.

Original poster
Purplewishes · 26/08/2021 21:29

@ungoogled voldepup!!! Ahahaha am done. Thread over. Thanks for playing.

OP posts:
Hiphopboppertybop99 · 26/08/2021 21:34

@Purplewishes - please let us know what happens over the weekend. I have invested a lot of quality time on this thread even when I should have been working ..... Grin

HappyGoLuckyLuLu · 26/08/2021 21:34

Maybe just suggest that DH periodically send Ex photos of the messes that are accumulating in her house over the weekend??

(Also, surely the only appropriate reply to that thumbs up emoji was another thumbs up emoji!?)

Original poster
Purplewishes · 26/08/2021 21:35

@senselessUbiquity now IF it was me or IF I was going to suggest something to make DH life easier, I would suggest picking the dog up and take dog to football and let him run around on the field beside the pitches with the toddler. But where would the fun be in giving DH such simple solutions.

He's gunna need a whiteboard or something to keep up with all his pick up and drop offs and dog walks and football games

OP posts:
BeckyWithTheGoodHair5629456 · 26/08/2021 21:36

I'm still absolutely disgusted that dog owner is happy for dog to be alone from its after school walk to the morning work. Like you say OP not your circus, but that's disgusting behaviour for a dog owner. Not fair on the dog at all and that's on her. Shocking.

BeenThruMoreThanALilBit · 26/08/2021 21:40

Semi-seriously, I do wonder what the protocol is for pet-owning by a child who splits his/her time between divorced parents. Obviously the child doesn’t own the pet and the parent who agrees to it is ultimately responsible, but it might get a bit unclear if the pet is bought when the child is a teen. What if the pet is a snake, or exotic fish in a massive tank?

Does the child have to choose between visiting the non-resident parent and taking care of its pet? At, say, 15yo, a child can be left home alone for a weekend. Pretty harsh to have to choose between seeing your parent and feeding your fish, but then also totally acceptable for the resident parent to want to go away on their “off” weekend.

And what about the pet, if it’s a dog? One reason I’ve never allowed my kids a dog is because I can’t bear the thought of kennels if we want to go away for two or three weeks. The dog wants to be with its family, doesn’t it? Nobody wants to be left with strangers for weeks at a time.

Maybe I’m over-thinking it 🤔

Original poster
Purplewishes · 26/08/2021 21:42

Right I'm off to sleep for the night as will be up to my tits with little monsters wanting fed soon.

Have reminded DSD and DH to set alarms for 5.30am to be able to get home and walk dog before school. Also duely warned that neither of them better wake the twins or toddler in morning

Stay tuned

OP posts:
Ellie56 · 26/08/2021 21:43

Hopefully CF will come back to find a complete shit show and that the dog has trashed the house completely.

TinkerPony · 26/08/2021 21:48

21:06Purplewishes
@ungoogled if DH brings that dog to the house he will receive a flying fucking drop kick right back out the door and be spending the night in the kennel cuddled into dog for warmth.
This comic perfectly sum it up Grin

CF. DSD, DSDs mum and dog
Original poster
Purplewishes · 26/08/2021 21:54

@tinkerPony spitting image of me too hahahaha

OP posts:
SamiReed1 · 26/08/2021 21:57

So you've let the CF mum win. You should have taken the dog to a Kennel and made her pay.

ChickpeaCrunch · 26/08/2021 21:58

@SamiReed1

So you've let the CF mum win. You should have taken the dog to a Kennel and made her pay.
No, OP has won by not being roped into looking after the dog. What DH and DSD do is up to them as long as it doesn't end up at OP's house!
OchonAgusOchonOh · 26/08/2021 22:00

[quote Purplewishes]@senselessUbiquity now IF it was me or IF I was going to suggest something to make DH life easier, I would suggest picking the dog up and take dog to football and let him run around on the field beside the pitches with the toddler. But where would the fun be in giving DH such simple solutions.

He's gunna need a whiteboard or something to keep up with all his pick up and drop offs and dog walks and football games[/quote]
It's a bit mean not to suggest that to him. None of this is his fault. It's not like he agreed to taking the dog with the expectation you would look after it.

LittleOwl153 · 26/08/2021 22:06

Personally I think her dad should be saying to dsd that he cannot ferry her back and forth before school and 3 times a day at the weekend and that her mum should have spoken to him before committing him to that. He should perhaps enable her to do the after school run and 1 trip at the weekend. But should then ring/message the Ex and tell her he is unable to provide that level of transport and that he should have checked before committing him to do that - therefore she will need to make other arrangements.

KidneyBeans · 26/08/2021 22:07

@Purplewishes

Can I just say well played! Wine

MN is full of women who seem to be in shitty relationships and at the beck and call of dickhead husbands who don't pull their weight.

It is refreshing to see a woman take no shit and have a day of getting her nails done and wine drink whilst her DH wrangles dogs and DC in a situation of his own making.