AIBU to not look after MIL dog?

[GallowwayGirl88]

My MIL got a dog a few months ago, a beautiful black lab, good for her.

I don’t like dogs (I know…Im the weird one).

Before she decided to get the dog I’d asked her about kennels & dog walkers for when she was on holidays/ when her partner returns to office (he’s been WFH, but will be doing a mix soon). She said that my husband and I would be able to dog sit. Nope. Not happening. I told her that we wouldn’t be dog sitting, ever. Reminded her that DH and I both work full time and wouldn’t be “popping in” to let the dog out for a pee either. I assumed she’d listened, but obviously not.

She’s booked a fri-mon break and we can look after the dog because we “don’t work weekends anyway”. DH told her know, she’s accusing me of being a “selfish bitch”.

AIBU?

DH told her know, she’s accusing me of being a “selfish bitch”.

Wow, way to woo you into taking the dog…

Let's hope she wasn't looking forward to be a "hands on" granny! She'd be apologising to me for daring to call me a selfish bitch before I ever spoke to her again - and even then I'd never, ever forget it.

I'd be very reluctant to have anything to do with her again. You've said you clash - I'd tell her to go fuck herself and cut all contact, frankly.

Your mil is a cheeky cow. Stick your guns. Good you have DH's support.
Not sure how she thinks insulting you is going to get you to change her mind.

Her dog, her problem

Why get a puppy and then go on holiday

@XelaM

Why can't your husband look after it over the weekend if you don't like dogs?

Why should he? They told his mother they wouldn't be dog-sitting.

I'd be expecting an apology before ever speaking to her again.

I think if she had kitted out a nursery at her house and was planning on babysitting or having baby overnight you would 100% be complaining about this

I pay a dog sitter, I wouldn’t dream of leaving him with anyone who didn’t love him and welcome him with open arms (or is paid to pretend!!). I do have to book her well in advance and she stays in my house so there’s a lot of hard work in making sure my house is suitable for guests before we leave.

This is all stuff you work out and plan for BEFORE you get the dog, let alone before you book the holiday!

My friend did this to me.
She had the cheek to ask me if she could borrow £500 to buy the dog (of course I said no) then assumed I would be happy to look after it.
I’m not a dog person..
She came to mine with the dog the other day and it done a shit on my kitchen floor 🤢
Even after that she mentioned about me looking after it if she goes on holiday. I politely declined and told her she should have thought about that before she got it.

YANBU she's being incredibly selfish and entitled.
We take our dog to a woman who boards in her home. She loves it there, she goes wappy when she smells where we're near and runs straight in and up the stairs and doesn't even look back!

Dh can send her links to local kennels...
And you need to block her...

Lol well surely if she's called you a selfish bitch you don't have to have anything to do with her anymore - let alone dog sit 😂 I'd call this a result

A lot of people saying to cut her out my life.

I assumed she’d had a drink when she said that - not an excuse I know, but cutting her out completely would be harsh. Probably cause a lot of drama in the future - tempting as it is

Anyone calling me a selfish butch wouldn’t see me again.

@phishy

Anyone calling me a selfish butch wouldn’t see me again.

Even family? Like would you just not go to any birthday parties, no Christmas dinners, no family get together ever again? How would you throw a christening and invite everyone bar MIL?

I mean I won’t be going to see her specifically, and I do expect an apology, but I’m not sure that’s the bill I want to die on.

See, that's the thing. You shouldn't have to die on this hill because your husband should be doing it himself. His mother has called his wife a selfish bitch for not giving up her weekend to look after her dog. It's unacceptable and your husband should be telling her that until she comes crawling with her tail between her legs and apologises, and actually means it, she is out.

At least that is what I would expect from my husband if he wanted to stay married to me.
And if it was the other way around, I would do the same for him, BTW.

@JesusIsAnyNameFree
DH does have my back.

I should rephrase “I’m not sure this is the hill WE want to die on”. I don’t expect DH to not go to his grandparents on Christmas because his mother will be there

Well, then don't. We all have different hills we would die on.

But if there aren't any real repercussions for her (and giving you a half hearted apology isn't really that), I wouldn't be surprised if you'll get more of this over the years.

But there are repercussions.

The OP won’t be looking after the dog.

I honestly find the ‘cut X out of your life’ for any old misdemeanour completely OTT.

But then again, I suppose I do come from a place of my friends and family not committing misdemeanours.

@LimeRedBanana

But there are repercussions.

The OP won’t be looking after the dog.

She wasn't looking after the dog regardless, so that's completely wrong. Being called a bitch is not what tipped the scales here.

We uninvited mil from our wedding.
Fil still came!

Her dog. Her problem!

You were called a selfish bitch and you are worried about christmas and christenings?

Have you no self respect whatsoever?!!

If my dh stood by and allowed his mother to call me a bitch or any other insulting name our marriage would be over op. You need to raise your standards!

MIL dog can go to the kennels or she can book a dog friendly hotel, your dh can expect some divorce papers unless he stands up for you and stops the insults from his bloody mother!

@stepupandbecounted
Did you read my comments? DH did stand up for me on his occasions, as he always does.

I’m not “worried” about Christmas etc. I was asking how people cut family from their lives in reality. Do people stop going to family events all together, or only miss events hosted by the individual?