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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate formula feeding?

228 replies

Dustypinks · 23/08/2021 10:48

It’s not meant to be a BF vs FF thread. It’s just how I personally feel.

I hate the fact I’ve no easy, quick way of comforting my baby. I hate the fact that if I give him a bottle and he won’t go to sleep I have to wait hours until he’s hungry enough to accept another one. I hate worrying about his teeth. I hate the cost!

I know it suits some people and I’m not trying to suggest they are wrong. I personally hate it though.

OP posts:
Ozanj · 23/08/2021 14:49

* Please don't imply that I'm some sort of crap mother who force feeds her baby. Actually my DC have never vomited up milk, so I must be doing something right!*

With all due respect whether a baby possets / vomits has nothing to do with the parent & everything to do with other factors.

zeroalcohol · 23/08/2021 14:51

I'm sorry people have made you feel like that but I don't think it's a good or productive thing to turn that resentment into an insistence that formula feeding is absolutely without any downsides or inconveniences and that if someone finds any of it annoying or not ideal they must somehow be doing it wrong.

Fair enough. There are some downsides and inconveniences, like cost (as mentioned in the OP). But there are many positives too.

I'm also sick of reading posts making me feel guilty and inadequate about the way I feed my beautiful DC, like I'm some sort of lesser mother.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 23/08/2021 14:51

I didn't like it either OP. Hated the amount of washing up and sterilising involved and also - petty but true - hated the smell of the formula.

I did do it though, I stopped breast feeding after about 9 months both babies. But formula was an absolute faff!

zeroalcohol · 23/08/2021 14:52

@Ozanj sure, but my point was that I don't force feed my baby and my baby has never vomited from being fed too much.

SarahAndQuack · 23/08/2021 14:53

@zeroalcohol

You did. You suggested she should feed her baby who isn't hungry and doesn't want the bottle. She's made it quite clear that's the situation.

Please don't imply that I'm some sort of crap mother who force feeds her baby. Actually my DC have never vomited up milk, so I must be doing something right!

I'm not in the least implying that, and I'm sorry you felt upset.

I'm just making the point that your suggestion isn't useful to the OP, because the issue she has is when her baby isn't hungry, but won't sleep. She can't just pop a bottle in his mouth as you suggest, because he doesn't want it. It won't help.

A breastfed baby might comfort-suck, but (as you say), all a FF baby can really do is push the bottle away. If a FF baby doesn't like a dummy, you're really on a hiding to nothing with comfort sucking IME.

Original poster
Dustypinks · 23/08/2021 14:54

No one said you did, Zero.

The only person who has talked about ‘lesser mothers’ is you.

OP posts:
Pissinthepottyplease · 23/08/2021 14:54

I ended up exclusively ff DD1 and ebf ff2. Neither was my choice. I wanted to ebf DD1 and combi feed with DD2.

Honestly everything is tricky with a baby and neither is perfect. I often wonder is combi feeding would have been better but there is is not going to be DD3 so I will never know.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 23/08/2021 14:55

I hated bottles too. I bf DS directly and found it quite easy after the first 4 weeks.DD was more difficult (various issues) and at 6m due to weight gain issues I had to swap to bottles (I expressed until she was 1), and found it really hard using bottles but just couldnt get her back to the breast (I tried).

You could try relactating (you might not get to fully bf but manage to get a bit of supply) to where comfort feeding could work?

Nipple shields can help some babies to latch who are used to bottles. I wont fill you with hope, I didn't get far with this and that was with a good supply, but my best efforts were at night when she was drowsy.

Good luck OP and take care of yourself.

SingingSands · 23/08/2021 14:55

@Dustypinks it's been many years, but I remember feeling the same as you. I had to switch to FF after 4 months of BF and I hated it. I never admitted it to anyone, but it just seemed like so much faff and hard work. I'd do as much pre-prep as I could, but even then I still didn't find it easy. The days where I was so sleep deprived that I couldn't even count the correct number of scoops of formula I needed were the worst.

Starjammer · 23/08/2021 14:56

@Chicchicchicchiclana

I didn't like it either OP. Hated the amount of washing up and sterilising involved and also - petty but true - hated the smell of the formula.

I did do it though, I stopped breast feeding after about 9 months both babies. But formula was an absolute faff!

Oh yes, it really smells horrendous, doesn't it? I really disliked the smell, but found some smelled stronger than others. We ended up topping up with Hipp Organic, which didn't seem to smell as bad to me as some of the others (or maybe I'd just got used to it a bit by then). But the first time I made up formula, I thought it had gone off! I expressed a lot of breast milk and that didn't seem to have an odour, or perhaps it does but because it was mine, I didn't notice (although I did freeze a lot and noticed that it smelled kind of soapy when I defrosted it).
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 23/08/2021 14:56

Also if you want to help your baby feed to sleep on a bottle, try swapping to the slowest newborn teat half way through the feed, they can then spend longer slowly drinking the last part and might nod off.

Original poster
Dustypinks · 23/08/2021 14:57

I’ve never actually noticed the smell, I don’t think!

The smell in a bottle if you leave it in your car though Envy

OP posts:
CarryOnNurse20 · 23/08/2021 14:57

OP your feelings are your own and valid.

I also felt guilt whenever I FF my first as I had desperately wanted to BF and so I think I was also more aware of the downsides and faff (I remember knackered tearfully making up a bottle in the middle of the night for DC who was 1 thinking if they were BF I could just roll over and feed them).

Did you want to BF? My second I BF for a while then moved to FF and I never had those feelings as I felt more empowered, it was a choice and I had 'done my bit'. I then found I enjoyed the benefits of FF compared to BF whereas with my first I think I glamorised what I thought BF would be like (so easy! so quick! solves all problems! etc) when in reality it was just different!

If your baby is 9 months you only have 3 months left! I second either buying a perfect prep or as they're formula needs reduce if funds allow buy the ready made stuff so theres no faffing!

Thesearmsofmine · 23/08/2021 15:02

YANBU if that’s how you feel. That’s your experience, my experience(ff 3dc) was positive.

Frezia · 23/08/2021 15:10

@TopBitchoftheWitches

There is always one.

Very predictable isn't it?

Original poster
Dustypinks · 23/08/2021 15:15

I have no idea who the ‘always one’ is referring to, me or another poster. Genuinely no idea.

OP posts:
Paint69 · 23/08/2021 15:20

I did too. But had a low milk supply with both children, so I had to FF. Regretted my breast reduction ever since.

Frezia · 23/08/2021 15:31

Nothing wrong with what you're saying, OP 👍

CallieOpie · 23/08/2021 15:40

Yep I'm with you OP, it's a total faff and not being able to just feed as and when for comfort as well as sustenance feels very restrictive to me (I realise that for others the more regulated timing/amounts is better for their preferences/lifestyle- that's fine. But it didn't suit me)

herculesoffline · 23/08/2021 17:52

@Bumblenums1234

Sorry that was in response to *@herculesoffline*
Thanks! My baby was born extremely prematurely and for all my attempts at expressing I only managed 10 weeks before my supply completely disappeared.

It's not that I didn't expect there would be costs, it just would be nice not to spend on it!

StarfishDish · 23/08/2021 19:49

@Dustypinks My baby (6 months) is formula fed as she wouldn't latch on.

Have you tried different types of dummies? My daughter wouldn't keep Tommee Tippee/Supermarket own brand dummies in her mouth but will keep MAM dummies in. A friend also had the same issue with her daughter but she preferred Tommee Tippee.

The cost soon adds up (we go through a tub of formula every 5 days!) but it isn't forever.

Apparantly, formula feeding doesn't ruin their teeth if that's any consolation?

You're doing a great job. :)

underneaththeash · 23/08/2021 20:08

OP i’ mm utterly confused. You don’t like bottle feeding, but don’t have a new born. So just start breast-feeding again.

I breast fed three children for exactly 16 weeks each - it was awful. I cannot imagine why anyone would chose to do it. It does make you smell.

But each to their own.

SarahAndQuack · 23/08/2021 20:11

@underneaththeash, I don't think she's suddenly started FF after BF until now? So she probably can't 'just' start BF again, at least without a struggle.

Frezia · 23/08/2021 20:15

@underneaththeash

OP i’ mm utterly confused. You don’t like bottle feeding, but don’t have a new born. So just start breast-feeding again.

I breast fed three children for exactly 16 weeks each - it was awful. I cannot imagine why anyone would chose to do it. It does make you smell.

But each to their own.

Breastfeeding makes you smell??

cazinge · 23/08/2021 20:27

If you really want the worst of all worlds, try exclusive pumping (seriously: don't). I exclusively pumped for DS because I was so blooy determined to breastfeed and it destroyed my mental health. BF DD was a dream by comparison, although the day she drew blood with a bite was a particular lowpoint.

All choices we make as parents have pros/cons. We all just do our best, but we're allowed to moan about it on a parenting forum which is supposed to be supportive