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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy the same item as a close friend?

389 replies

lucyli · 23/08/2021 05:53

Firstly I apologise that this is the epitome of a first world problem. I acknowledge I am fortunate to have this problem and that there are many bigger things to worry about.

I have decided to make a high-end purchase from a well-known brand. I've never done this before but am at the stage in my life where I would like to do so.

I spend a long while researching, chose what I wanted and planned to head to the shops in a few days.

Was just chatting to a close friend and it turns out she has the exact same item and is annoyed that I'd buy the same and said she'd rather I didn't. I wasn't aware of this before.

I struggle to understand this mentality as it's not something that would concern me at all the other way around.

Her argument is that she didn't spend all that money, just to have someone close to her have the exact same item.

AIBU to buy it anyway? I was so pleased with the idea of having it and was excited to buy it.

OP posts:
Rainbowshit · 23/08/2021 11:28

Jeeze those bags are not worth the money. They're everywhere and I just always assume they're fakes.

RightYesButNo · 23/08/2021 11:31

@Lougle

I clearly have no taste because, having googled it, that looks like something you could get at the local market for £20. I'd save your £1000 and buy something else Grin
Meh, don’t feel badly. We refer to them as Louis Vuitton Bags for Life, so it’s not just you having no taste. They’re also the “cheapest” LV bag, so it seems like quite a few people are saying, “I want to buy the status symbol and this was the cheapest bag they had,” rather than even liking it themselves. Also, they’ve been popular for so long that you can get a knockoff for £20 anyway. And you could replace that £20 knockoff four times a year (if it wears out) for ten years, and STILL save at least £200.
Frodogo · 23/08/2021 11:37

I don't understand people who think like this. Anyone could have that bag. Not as many will, because it's expensive, but is she going to be sad or annoyed every time she crosses paths with another person with that bag?

She's being ridiculous, but someone that entitled probably can't see it. I'd buy what I like and let her cry into her overpriced bag, if she's that upset. I'd also be prepared for her annoyance and to lose her as a friend, since she was petty enough to ask you not to buy it.

honeyytoast · 23/08/2021 11:42

I actually genuinely cannot get my head around why having the same bag as someone matters

isthisareverse · 23/08/2021 11:46

If you have to ask, then deep down you already know the answer.

Bit sad to copy the bag already bought by a friend, but hey ho.

MrsWhites · 23/08/2021 11:51

It’s not the sort of bag you would use for a night out so it’s not that she thinks you will both turn up with the same bag in a group of people - she just wants to be the friend who can afford designer handbags.

She’s being a tit - if that’s the bag you want then buy it. If you chose a different one I bet the friend turns up with the same one a few weeks later!

seeingdouble2 · 23/08/2021 11:54

Hi OP, your friend does not have the the copyright for the bag, if its something you are really excited about and done the research then go buy it. Enjoy your new purchase whatever you decide in the end Wink

RampantIvy · 23/08/2021 11:55

@honeyytoast

I actually genuinely cannot get my head around why having the same bag as someone matters
Neither can I.
sunshineandlollypops · 23/08/2021 12:08

The Neverfull is probably LV's most popular bag. As many previous posters have stated, it is everywhere.
Personally, I would get a Goyard. You can have it personalised with your initials for free.
I love mine and I hardly ever see anyone with one.

Ariela · 23/08/2021 12:25

@VQ1970

www.mulberry.com/gg/shop/bayswater/bayswater-tote-mulberry-green-small-classic-grain

The Mulberry Bayswater Tote is much, much nicer in my opinion - would this work for you?

www.johnlewis.com/mulberry-bayswater-small-classic-grain-leather-tote-bag/charcoal/p4201152 I have the charcoal, and love it
billy1966 · 23/08/2021 12:29

@Rainbowshit

Jeeze those bags are not worth the money. They're everywhere and I just always assume they're fakes.
Me too.

I think they are tacky looking.

billy1966 · 23/08/2021 12:30

@Ariela

Lovely bag, gorgeous in fact.

Gemma2019 · 23/08/2021 13:01

She's done you a favour, those bags are everywhere and not even that nice. Personally for security I wouldn't buy a tote without a zip as I've seen how easy they are to remove items from even when they are on someone's shoulder.

snackodactyl · 23/08/2021 13:08

if you want it you get it. a real friend would take it as a compliment i think, and she’s being daft.

Spanglybangles · 23/08/2021 13:26

I haven’t read the full thread, but I say buy the Louboutin Cabata tote instead, it’s much nicer Grin

www.harrods.com/en-gb/shopping/christian-louboutin-cabata-small-leather-tote-bag-16561255

To buy the same item as a close friend?
To buy the same item as a close friend?
LibbyL92 · 23/08/2021 13:35

If she has an issue you need to find a new friend.

She needs to grow up!

LaurieFairyCake · 23/08/2021 16:38

That Louboutin bag is gorgeous 🥰🥰🥰

LittleGwyneth · 23/08/2021 16:56

There are other way more exciting bags you can get than the neverfull. Though your friend has a nerve being controlling about it, so many people have them, they're hardly a rarity.

PersonaNonGarter · 23/08/2021 17:04

This thread has been informative.

dayswithaY · 23/08/2021 17:12

I'd hate it if you bought the same bag as me. I know that makes me an terrible person blah blah, but here we are.

If she's your friend you won't want to cause a problem between you. People are complex and for some people thus would be a deal breaker.

Buy the bag if you have to but be prepared for what comes next. Some people really do take things like this seriously so you should try to be sympathetic to how she is feeling. Or end the friendship if this behaviour is too much for you.

Personally, I'd just buy another bag. Every schoolgirl around here has that LV one (usually a fake from Turkey).

Go Miu Miu or Asprey instead.

FangsForTheMemory · 23/08/2021 17:29

I love the Goyard bags and may get myself one.

Er . . . I hope you don't mind if I do, OP!

SnoopyLights · 23/08/2021 19:20

These are lovely SnoopyLights and not at all what I expected when I looked.

Here is a link

www.elvisandkresse.com/collections/womens-bags

Yes they have some really lovely looking bags, I had a hard time deciding which one to choose. First over the style and then over the colour (I was really tempted by the yellow but eventually went for classic red). I do love the one I finally selected, I definitely made the right choice.

RampantIvy · 23/08/2021 20:44

I'd hate it if you bought the same bag as me

Why? I am genuinely puzzled why it would be such a big deal. Other people really don't notice or care.

MissMarpleTheMurderer · 23/08/2021 20:54

@SnoopyLights

These are lovely SnoopyLights and not at all what I expected when I looked.

Here is a link

www.elvisandkresse.com/collections/womens-bags

Yes they have some really lovely looking bags, I had a hard time deciding which one to choose. First over the style and then over the colour (I was really tempted by the yellow but eventually went for classic red). I do love the one I finally selected, I definitely made the right choice.

I dislike you Snoopy I normally read these threads and thank fuck that I have no taste and congratulate myself on not spending money, but they are gorgeous and following on from the birthday thread I've just treated myself to one for my birthday next month.