To buy the same item as a close friend?

[lucyli]

Firstly I apologise that this is the epitome of a first world problem. I acknowledge I am fortunate to have this problem and that there are many bigger things to worry about.

I have decided to make a high-end purchase from a well-known brand. I've never done this before but am at the stage in my life where I would like to do so.

I spend a long while researching, chose what I wanted and planned to head to the shops in a few days.

Was just chatting to a close friend and it turns out she has the exact same item and is annoyed that I'd buy the same and said she'd rather I didn't. I wasn't aware of this before.

I struggle to understand this mentality as it's not something that would concern me at all the other way around.

Her argument is that she didn't spend all that money, just to have someone close to her have the exact same item.

AIBU to buy it anyway? I was so pleased with the idea of having it and was excited to buy it.

[quote Spanglybangles]I haven’t read the full thread, but I say buy the Louboutin Cabata tote instead, it’s much nicer

www.harrods.com/en-gb/shopping/christian-louboutin-cabata-small-leather-tote-bag-16561255[/quote]
Love this.

Absolutely love that Louboutin Cabata tote.

Over a grand for a bag!! Jesus christ. Maybe I'm cheap but that's crazy.

@lucyli

Thanks all. I agree. Even if I wanted it, it feels a bit tainted now. I'm going to opt for a Longchamp I think. Granted she has one of those too but I can't make allowances for everything!

If you want an LV Neverfull, get it now as they go up in price every year.

Ignore your bratty ‘friend’.

@dayswithaY

I'd hate it if you bought the same bag as me. I know that makes me an terrible person blah blah, but here we are.

If she's your friend you won't want to cause a problem between you. People are complex and for some people thus would be a deal breaker.

Buy the bag if you have to but be prepared for what comes next. Some people really do take things like this seriously so you should try to be sympathetic to how she is feeling. Or end the friendship if this behaviour is too much for you.

Personally, I'd just buy another bag. Every schoolgirl around here has that LV one (usually a fake from Turkey).

Go Miu Miu or Asprey instead.

You would hate if a friend bought an LV? They’re ubiquitous.

If you’re going to spend decent money on a bag, you can do way, way better than a LV Neverfull!

Thank goodness you started this thread.

Outdo her and buy a Goyard if you want a tote bag. Far more exclusive. Neverful is not really an 'event' bag though it's more for travel when you need something in to chuck stuff in. You can do better for an event bag.

And the LV straps cut into your arm if you carry a lot in it.

OP I'm sure your friend doesn't have this gem:

www.anyahindmarch.com/products/anya-brands-mini-tote-cheese-onion-in-sequins-blueberry?utm_source=RakutenMarketing&utm_medium=Affiliate&utm_campaign=3296130%3AStylight+UK&utm_content=15&utm_term=UKNetwork&ranMID=37208&ranEAID=aWmDzzge4SA&ranSiteID=aWmDzzge4SA-Q37OgMCVmmv61W53Sk6MXA&siteID=aWmDzzge4SA-Q37OgMCVmmv61W53Sk6MXA&styProdUuid=9c828cf0-44b0-5b8a-8256-1c92ef6d0e53&styCampaignId=17120&utm_source=google_shopping&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=google_shopping_uk&utm_campaign=17120&stySource=7&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI55aR-b_I8gIVidmyCh1OKgzXEAQYAiABEgIHlPD_BwE

The world's biggest link! Sorry 😳

She can’t tell you not to buy that item. Every man and his dog has that bag.

I personally hate when people buy the same thing as me but that’s because I generally buy statement items that are incredibly unique (aqua sequin kimono, silver ankle boots, yellow leather 60s mini) and so it shits me when someone else copies me and then I feel like I can’t wear it.

An old colleague did this to me so many times that I stopped telling her where things were from.

Just buy a better / different, more expensive / similarly priced bag.

I would hate to have the same expensive bag as a close friend.

It's awkward as you've both discussed it. I would not be buying the same bag as a friend who already has it because it would grate on me.

I'd buy something that I'm less likely to see someone else with.

I actually genuinely cannot get my head around why having the same bag as someone matters

Neither can I. If a friend of mine carried on like that they would soon be an ex-friend.

She is being silly, and odd, is the thing that she has, the only one of it's kind in the world, so rare, that nobody else can have the same.

I only know a couple of people who pay that sort of money for a bag.

Now I've Googled the LV Neverful it looks to me like a lot of bags you see in TKMaxx.

My friend and I have matching Tesco bags for life, and neither of us realised the other had one.
It was a truly socially embarrassing moment when we both arrived at the library with our returns in our bags.

Your friend equates the bag with status & someone else having the same bag in her circle taints it for her.

If this was such an issue for her, why she'd buy the most popular bag from one of the most popular designers is beyond me but alas...

Buy the Gucci, dump the friend. Problem solved. LV is so overdone now it's like Burberry anyway

LV must be delighted at all the people now looking at their website to see what this bag is, I've never seen one, but I don't move in the sort of circles where people have designer handbags

If LV’s tracking is any good they’ll be reading this thread - along with all the other handbag makers linked on it.

Definitely the Louboutin Cabata tote instead.

LV one is really ugly. Sorry OP!

@EmmaGrundyForPM

I only know a couple of people who pay that sort of money for a bag.

Now I've Googled the LV Neverful it looks to me like a lot of bags you see in TKMaxx.

It does 🤷🏻‍♀️

@lucyli have you looked at Celine? I have the Luggage and love it. I think the largest size brand new is more expensive than the LV but I got mine second hand.

OP, your friend is SO uptight! Even if it was a dress and might risk turning up to the same event in it it wouldn't matter, but all this fuss over a handbag?

If that was my friend I'd laugh about what great taste we both had and think nothing else of it (as I'm sure most friends would).

@Wingedharpy

My friend and I have matching Tesco bags for life, and neither of us realised the other had one. It was a truly socially embarrassing moment when we both arrived at the library with our returns in our bags.

I've yet to work out how to add emojis on here, so instead - ha ha ha ha ha ha (also awkward, pretty sure my mate's got the same Aldi bag as me!).

@PurpleFlower1983

From what you’ve said if it’s something like the LV Neverfull or similar so a really common design then YADNBU, loads of people have them.

This.

I often see people with this bag, it's such a common design that I must admit I don't know why it is so expensive. And it's not leather!
A very useful bag though, I can understand why you'd like one.

If you had brought it and not consulted with your friend first then she would never have known. They make more than one of things so everyone can have one if they want one tell your friend it’s already in order, if she’s a really good friend she wouldn’t care anyway and if she decides she likes you a little less then she wasn’t your friend in the first place and I wouldn’t that bothered about continuing that friendship.