To buy the same item as a close friend?

[lucyli]

Firstly I apologise that this is the epitome of a first world problem. I acknowledge I am fortunate to have this problem and that there are many bigger things to worry about.

I have decided to make a high-end purchase from a well-known brand. I've never done this before but am at the stage in my life where I would like to do so.

I spend a long while researching, chose what I wanted and planned to head to the shops in a few days.

Was just chatting to a close friend and it turns out she has the exact same item and is annoyed that I'd buy the same and said she'd rather I didn't. I wasn't aware of this before.

I struggle to understand this mentality as it's not something that would concern me at all the other way around.

Her argument is that she didn't spend all that money, just to have someone close to her have the exact same item.

AIBU to buy it anyway? I was so pleased with the idea of having it and was excited to buy it.

[UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter]

Is it the closeness of time that she’s most upset about? She’s just brought it hasn’t had time to show it off yet and you’re buying one? Whereas if she’s had it a couple of years and you then got one she might not be so upset.

I have to say I don’t like mine as much as I thought. The straps dig in if you have a lot in it and the small clasp fastening means it’s not very secure. I’ve had mine fit years and didn’t pay anything like the price they sell for now.

If I was to buy again I would buy the ballerina pink interior or the black leather one.

[Monestera]

This is what I'm struggling with. I'm not sure why it upsets her so I'm finding it hard to empathise and therefore understand why I should not buy it.

It is literally the whole point and psychology of consumerism though! Something has a high price not because it costs a lot of money to make, but because people want exclusivity. Your friend paid that amount of money to have something few others did. It's not something that appeals to me, it is superficial, but I understand where she's coming from.

[lucyli]

Thanks all. I agree. Even if I wanted it, it feels a bit tainted now. I'm going to opt for a Longchamp I think. Granted she has one of those too but I can't make allowances for everything!

[WithLoveFromMyselfToYourself]

Look at Goyard. Same idea of a canvas tote from a heritage brand but less ubiquitous. I prefer the pattern too.

[TheVolturi]

What are the chances of you both selecting the exact same item at the exact same time!

[RampantIvy]

TBH, I don’t understand the mentality of someone who behaves like your friend. It isn’t as if they own the copyright of the bag. If anyone bought something that was the same as mine, I would feel flattered and compliment them on their taste.

Also, a bag is far less noticeable than a dress for example. Not being a “bag person” (I had to google said bag ). I doubt that I would notice if two people owned the same bag, and I imagine that this goes for most of the population. I think your friend is making a mountain out of a molehill. People really don’t care, and your friend needs to grow up.

[Jasmine11]

I can kind of see her point if she is a close friend and you spend a lot of time together. You will both look a bit ridiculous rocking up places with the same distinctive LV bag. Could you at least get one of the other patterns than the one she has? Ultimately it's up to you what you buy and they are still fairly popular bags, but from your friends point of view it will look like you are copying her.

[Jemand]

The problem is going to be that, if you want to keep this friendship, you can't ever take that bag when you go anywhere this friend might be. Doesn't that rather reduce its usefulness?

[countrytown]

V Neverfull - I had to Google it but I too have seen them everywhere. It will probably turn out like Burberry plaid in the 90s and soon be common as muck.

This happened years ago

[WithLoveFromMyselfToYourself]

I think the St Louis is closest to the Neverfull but I prefer the Artois which is a little more structured. It has an internal pocket and a zip fastening on the bag. There are size options.

[BanningTheWordNaice]

The problem might be solved for you - LV have made the canvas items really difficult to get hold of. Your friends an idiot though to be honest, I’d have more sympathy with her if she’d chosen a less popular LV bag but the neverfull is literally everywhere.

[countrytown]

Look at Goyard. Same idea of a canvas tote from a heritage brand but less ubiquitous. I prefer the pattern too.

I had one of these but then they were everywhere & lots of fakes were about too

[ifonly4]

Will you have other bags, or it for use everyday? If you've got other bags, could you use one of those when you're seeing her?

[Ragwort]

LV must be delighted at all the people now looking at their website to see what this bag is, I've never seen one, but I don't move in the sort of circles where people have designer handbags .

[Duvetdweller]

I’ve got a neverfull and find the straps dig in if there’s a lot of stuff in it (which is the point surely)

[godmum56]

buy it and use it when you damn well like. If it was a one off piece that she had commisioned I can understand the angst but she is acting like a spoiled kid.

[BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand]

I had to Google the bag, but yes - those are absolutely everywhere. You could walk down any high street in the UK and see a couple (some may be fake, but they're still everywhere).

On that basis, I'm a bit confused by your friend thinking it's so exclusive that she doesn't want you to have one.

Tbh, I don't understand why you'd pay £2k for something so ubiquitous. There must be dozens of small, obscure designers out there making beautiful bags at that price that you would rarely see out and about. Ok, it wouldn't have the LV name, but it would be a premium bag, and it would be genuinely unusual and exclusive.

[Pbbananabagel]

Upgrade to Gucci?

www.farfetch.com/uk/shopping/women/gucci-ophidia-gg-tote-item-13433955.aspx?storeid=10524&rtype=inspire_portal_pdp_generic_a&rpos=2&rid=c92a7493-14d4-4b51-b4ce-60b8fba0ee48

[Hugoslavia]

Honestly, having just checked out to LV Neverfull bag, I think that it looks cheap. There are so many knockoffs. It's also a myth that you are paying for fantastic quality. You are paying for the brand name - the high rent on the shops, the PR and marketing team, the expensive glossy ad campaigns, the expensive shop fittings. You are paying the wages for teams of people on most probably better salaries than yourself. You are taking a large proportion of your salary and giving it to the already rich. And then on top of that, you are advertising their products for them free of charge by turning yourself into a walking sandwich board. And why?? Because the marketing works and you somehow think that you will look and feel more important and special by showing off your wealth. Nike trainers don't turn a normal person into the world's fastest runner anymore than a LV bag turns you into a rich supermodel. These brands prey on insecurities. Quite often other bags of similar quality are made in the exact same factories but sold for considerably less. Save your money and actually spend it on yourself rather than giving it to the well paid executives at LV. Besides which, the bag is ugly and cheap looking.

[Ourlady]

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

Similar here, I bought a bag and then see lots of people have the same one.
I feel really awkward and although I have tried the word TESCO just won't come off.

Hahaha so funny

[LivingLaVidaBabyShower]

Another vote for goyard.
Or get the NF customed with stripes an initals some of the combos are very beautiful.

Ps your friend sounds mean spirited and a bit of a dick.

[BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand]

@Lucia574

I wouldn’t get it now as: a) A bag is not worth tainting a friendship over, and b) You might not enjoy the bag itself, knowing that it has upset your dear friend.
If it really is just the practicality that attracts you to it, rather than the branding, then just get a Longchamp. I think that LV stuff is so obviously branded and ubiquitous that it is no longer elegant.

Obvious branding has never been 'elegant' imo. If someone likes heavily branded stuff, fine, knock yourself out. But the idea of it being elegant is a bit wishful.

[lucyli]

[quote Pbbananabagel]Upgrade to Gucci?

www.farfetch.com/uk/shopping/women/gucci-ophidia-gg-tote-item-13433955.aspx?storeid=10524&rtype=inspire_portal_pdp_generic_a&rpos=2&rid=c92a7493-14d4-4b51-b4ce-60b8fba0ee48[/quote]
I like that! Will take a look in the shops.

[Foxglovesandlilacs86]

I’m in West Sussex and have a neverfull. They are pretty much everywhere, I can tell the fake ones a mile away though as a family member used to sell them!

When I got mine a few years ago there were three different designs, could you just get it in a different print?

[Carycy]

To be honest I just associate LV with a certain type of tourist and fakes. V tacky. Why not go for a more exclusive brand?
Recently discovered a gorgeous brand called Smaak Amsterdam. Truly beautiful bags. No big in your face design.