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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Relative has AirBNB and the only way my DC can stay with their grandmother may be for us to book and pay?

115 replies

Winnebaggo · 22/08/2021 17:32

Tricky one. My MIL moved in with DSIL around the start of lockdown. To be fair she helped sister-in-law buy the house that they're now living in. But when she told us she was moving in with her she said there would be a room for us as in myself and husband (her son) and her grandchildren (our DC). Before she moved in with sister-in-law we used to go and see her every holiday and I mean every holiday half term school holidays probably every third or fourth weekend. I know that because of lockdown we haven't been able to see her as much but we discovered that they would not be a room in this house for us to go and stay in. Instead sister-in-law and brother-in-law are Airbnb-big in the two rooms that we were told would be staying in. We found out from mother-in-law they need to Airbnb these rooms in order to pay the mortgage. So that means when we go and stay with my mother-in-law we have to stay in the lounge. It's not enough room for 4 of us to be honest. We can stay in the Airbnb rooms but they have to be not booked ie no paying guests and paying guests get first refusal.
And of course with lockdown and more people staying in the UK it has been booked out which meant they've been able to pay their mortgage etc.
But the thing is my DC haven't seen my grandmother since the end of that major lockdown restrictions ended. The only way to go and stay with their grandmother now is for us to pay the Airbnb fee which is £125 for three rooms because we need to book out 3 rooms.
We thought when mother-in-law moved we would have some space to stay there but the thing is we are also trying to make a living to paying 125 actually 250 for two nights to go and see their grandmother it just seems wrong somehow how can I sort the situation?

I know they have to make money and they have a large mortgage - but at the same time I feel really frustrated.

OP posts:
cataline · 22/08/2021 17:35

Could your MIL not come and stay with you?

LakieLady · 22/08/2021 17:36

Invite MIL to come and stay with you instead.

I think your SIL is a bit of a CF, tbh, unless AirBnB has some condition where hosts aren't allowed to reserve rooms for their own use.

DelphiniumBlue · 22/08/2021 17:37

Tell MiL and SiL that you an't afford it. Wait and see what they suggest.

Hankunamatata · 22/08/2021 17:37

Book cheaper one nearby?

Mayra1367 · 22/08/2021 17:37

If I had to pay I’d book somewhere else and arrange to visit your MIL during the day/ evening.

Ivecomeoutoflurking · 22/08/2021 17:40

I would possibly just say you are really sorry but you also have a mortgage to pay and therefore can't afford to book the airb&b rooms. Would MIL like to come and stay with you instead?

Notaroadrunner · 22/08/2021 17:40

Lots of grandparents don't have room to accommodate family. We don't have space to accommodate family so they stay in a hotel or Airbnb. It's a shame MIL made promises she can't keep but you need to accept that they need to make money to pay their bills. Can you not just find cheaper accommodation nearby or invite MIL to come to your house?

rookiemere · 22/08/2021 17:41

Why do you need to book out 3 rooms ? Can't you book one and split between that and the living room ? Or yes stay in a Premier Inn for a lot less ( unless you need 3 rooms there for some reason).

JaffaRaf · 22/08/2021 17:42

Your MIL isn’t obliged to provide you with a free stay. Can she not come to stay with you? Or you just book somewhere cheaper.

2reefsin30knots · 22/08/2021 17:42

Book a Premier Inn instead. Or have Mil at yours.

Dixiechickonhols · 22/08/2021 17:43

MIL come to you?
What does MIL say when you say we’d love to stay like we did at old your old house but since there’s no free bedrooms we can’t.

InaccurateDream · 22/08/2021 17:44

Stay somewhere cheaper nearby? Lots of homes don’t have room for relatives sadly

ChateauMargaux · 22/08/2021 17:45

Get your Dh to have a word with his sister... his mother helped them to buy the house.. .. surely they can let you stay for 2 nights.

But yeah, get her to come to you, even if it means driving there to collect her and bring her back.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 22/08/2021 17:45

Can you find a ebearhy hotel room for really cheap, even if it's not that pleasant, because you know you can stay with your SiL in the day? Its either that or invite your MiL to stay with you. You wont be seeing her very often unless you find some sort of alternative.

The set up is a bit strange though, normally if two families move in together it's to save money. So your MiL must be saving on rent or mortgage payments or sitting on a load of cash from selling her house. Why I'd SiL still struggling for money when her mum stays there? If it's your MiL you're going to visit can she not pay towards the cost?

Foxmylife · 22/08/2021 17:47

Did mil know this before moving? I wouldn't sleep in the living room. Why cant mil come to you?

Gizlotsmum · 22/08/2021 17:47

Mil can come to you, you can stay elsewhere, ask if they could block some time so you could stay in the future without paying?

QueenBee52 · 22/08/2021 17:48

So you expected a bedroom to be kept empty for you for all holidays 🤣

ok 😬

ChicChaos · 22/08/2021 17:49

Either book yourselves into a Premier Inn or get your MIL to visit you. Don't see how you can book 3 rooms when only 2 are available in the house?

But I think you posted about this when your MIL was about to move and it's not just about the rooms.

Boulshired · 22/08/2021 17:50

Once your Mil moved in the dynamics were always going to change. Unless the MIL gave conditions it’s the SIL house. You were never going to be as welcome. Not sure I would even stay in the lounge if strangers were also there, especially the children.

Cuddlyrottweiler · 22/08/2021 17:53

@Mayra1367

If I had to pay I’d book somewhere else and arrange to visit your MIL during the day/ evening.
I'd do this too. Then at least you'll have your own space that you're paying for and aren't a guest in their home while also paying for the privilege. I can't imagine airbnb guests being happy at renting rooms in a place and a family of 4 camping in the lounge!
Cuddlyrottweiler · 22/08/2021 17:55

I can imagine that there's some ill feeling in that you used to be able to stay with MIL and she had a close relationship with your kids. Now she's given all her money to SIL and you've had your relationship with her totally severed.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 22/08/2021 17:58

I know this isn't the issue, but I find it weird that they'd buy a big house that they can only pay the mortgage for if they rent the rooms out, rooms that they clearly don't need. Why not just buy a smaller house? What a hassle

234Pepperplant · 22/08/2021 18:01

So your bil and sil are living with your mil,
presumably at least partly in anticipation of providing support and care as she becomes older. And your gripe is that they don’t keep empty rooms, in their own home, for you to stay whoever you want to visit? I’d be thrilled my mil was happily housed and supported and if it cost me an occasional premier inn then so be it. Not everyone’s parents have multiple spare rooms to put up their children and grandchildren, we still see them!

CakeandGo · 22/08/2021 18:05

I’d book the cheapest option as close as the budget allowed.
I wouldn’t be paying them to stay there.
Or ask her to stay with you if viable.

Member984815 · 22/08/2021 18:10

Invite your mil to yours instead

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