Relative has AirBNB and the only way my DC can stay with their grandmother may be for us to book and pay?

[Winnebaggo]

Tricky one. My MIL moved in with DSIL around the start of lockdown. To be fair she helped sister-in-law buy the house that they're now living in. But when she told us she was moving in with her she said there would be a room for us as in myself and husband (her son) and her grandchildren (our DC). Before she moved in with sister-in-law we used to go and see her every holiday and I mean every holiday half term school holidays probably every third or fourth weekend. I know that because of lockdown we haven't been able to see her as much but we discovered that they would not be a room in this house for us to go and stay in. Instead sister-in-law and brother-in-law are Airbnb-big in the two rooms that we were told would be staying in. We found out from mother-in-law they need to Airbnb these rooms in order to pay the mortgage. So that means when we go and stay with my mother-in-law we have to stay in the lounge. It's not enough room for 4 of us to be honest. We can stay in the Airbnb rooms but they have to be not booked ie no paying guests and paying guests get first refusal.
And of course with lockdown and more people staying in the UK it has been booked out which meant they've been able to pay their mortgage etc.
But the thing is my DC haven't seen my grandmother since the end of that major lockdown restrictions ended. The only way to go and stay with their grandmother now is for us to pay the Airbnb fee which is £125 for three rooms because we need to book out 3 rooms.
We thought when mother-in-law moved we would have some space to stay there but the thing is we are also trying to make a living to paying 125 actually 250 for two nights to go and see their grandmother it just seems wrong somehow how can I sort the situation?

I know they have to make money and they have a large mortgage - but at the same time I feel really frustrated.

SIL is a CF and clearly has taken advantage and misled MIL. It’s her house as well and now can’t have her own presumably much loved family to stay as SIL coins it in.

It’s only 2 hours - easily doable for a day trip, especially if your dc are not little.

I wouldn’t stay where I’m not wanted, I’d just book a travelodge for the night, or, invite MIL to stay with you?

So that means when we go and stay with my mother-in-law we have to stay in the lounge. It's not enough room for 4 of us to be honest

Make do

you have been offered a room to stay in when you visit?

squash up, and make your visits short

Sounds like they bought something they couldn’t really afford. I’d be upset too. I would also go and stay somewhere else and collect MIL for days out or take her back to yours and just stay one night each way.

While people are saying it’s only two hours away it isn’t, it is a four hour round trip on a good day.
DD was five hours away and it once took us 9 1/2 hours to get home.

Far too many variables in this situation for any of us on MN to make comment

How much did MIL give to SIL to help buy house as in it is that she sold her home to give to SIL to buy and have part ownership of SIL home? What has happened to MIL home? Did OP DH get any help buying their home in the past?

SIL and BIL finances could have changed since buying the house and need to Air BnB to make ends meet.

BIL family coming and staying, told known if they pay or help in other ways or stay in lounge.

Not seeing MIL because she lives with SIL who uses her spare rooms for income does not mean you don’t see MIL. With adult DC, can’t they share the driving to bring MIL to your home? (OP said they're all grown)

As adults, can’t they go on their own to visit too? There’s options of staying nearby in b&b or inexpensive hotel?

Another option is to collect her and stay together someplace else altogether, so lots of possibilities to see MIL that don’t involve SIL at all.

A new “normal” of seeing MIL needs to be found now that MIL is no longer living in her own home with spare room. There must have been a reason why MIL moved in with SIL prior to covid (if covid was not at a factor in MIL moving).

Longtime our DC are primary school age and SIL' children are younger than ours but also at school - so that's why we tend to go over to them anyway.
Certainly not grown up. And certainly no fan of long car journeys.
MIL gave SIL over a third of house value - yes there's no way they would have been able to buy - SIL doesn't work (they pay a cleaner to do the AirBNB).
MIL held on to her small house and rents it out.
She hadn't planned to live with DSIL there all the time before lockdown.
MIL very fit and healthy and quite active but lockdown has made her wary of going anywhere and even coming to stay with us.
I know she finds our house quite busy as we both work FT and I have a company. So she prefers us to stay with her. Often we have to do things when she's here at ours but when we are with her we tend to concentrate on the children and going out and also cooking meals for her - which I like doing.

We can stay in the Airbnb rooms but they have to be not booked ie no paying guests and paying guests get first refusal.

So you've not actually been asked to pay, just asked to check well in advance if they have guests booked in and if so either sleep in the lounge, or arrange another date?

For context my family have holiday accommodation they let out , and my mum used to do bed and breakfast. I always used to check it was convenient and that there was space for us, or make do with put up beds. At the end of the day, sleeping in the lounge is hardly a big deal for a short visit, but you sound resentful about the money contribution and shock/horror a SIL who doesn't work!

water My MIL has helped us too so money isn't an issue nor is the working - I love my job and lucky enough to earn decently and lucky enough to have a vocation.
The problem is we don't want to deprive them of income but the weekends we can go tend to be half term and holidays when everyone goes away.
So I think we may try and book a B&B nearby which is cheaper as we would have to book out all the rooms we don't need
This is probably all a result of Covid anyway. Hopefully for all of us we don't get such weird dilemmas in future.

MIL held on to her small house and rents it out.

Has your SIL actually asked for payment for the AirB&B rooms or did you assume that?

@Winnebaggo

I hope you do still go... sounds like She'll love to see you guys 🌸

I think it makes a lot of sense to pay to stay elsewhere- particularly if it's cheaper. It would really stick in my craw to be lining SILs pockets when the whole property ownership seems a bit dubious.

I'd book a comfy Airbnb close by, get the best of both situations spending time with MIL without sharing the time with SIL&BIL.

She is allowed to stay. Just not in the rooms set aside/ relied upon for income