How the fuck do I deal with this

[1lifeliveitright]

I've NC for obvious reasons. Just picked up my 17yr old dd from a 'friend's' house where she stayed last night. She's in a right state. She hasn't known this girl long and I don't know her at all but they have other mutual friends and she's gone back to her flat before after nights out.
So dd is crying and has been stabbed repeatedly with a tattoo gun in the leg. It's bruised and swollen and there was apparently alot of blood. Obvious needle mark. I've bathed it and it looks OK but I'm worried about infection. The fucking needle won't have been sterilised either.
I wanted to call the police there and then but dd has begged me not to as no-one does that and it'll have repercussions .
This girl is 18 and obviously dd is still a child. Any advice?

Sorry about spelling mistakes my phone has a mind of its own

@HurryUpAndWait23

Clearly you aren't a Doctor or Nurse. Of course it's an emergency! Your advice is dangerous.

A&E may hopefully have a trained adolescent MH liaison person on hand to assess your dd as a potentially vulnerable adult and to refer to other agencies if she is in the stronghold of anything coercive. I think that sort of help is more important than police action, etc.

And for infection control.

@HurryUpAndWait23

I'm really confused as to why people are suggesting A&E.

This is in no way an emergency.

Sure she needs a blood test, hopefully she's up to date with her immunisations (tetanus), and a follow up blood test in a few months.

But that appointment can be made on Monday with her GP.

She’s been stabbed with a used needle… are you genuinely serious?

I alsothunk theres a lot of blames on this other girl. We are only hearing the daughters account who admitted it was a game gone wrong. A very stupid horrible game yes but both were compliant in the game.

@Soberanne

I am sorry OP you really need to take a stance here with your daughter. Posters on here are telling you its vital she gets the treatment quick to prevent potentially serious infections and your saying shes 17, sheskn bed, shes sleeping. But in your first post you said the other girl is an adukt but your daughter is a child. Tell herto get out her bed and get dressed and tell her exactly why.

This.

‘You need to go to hospital because you need medication to ensure you don’t contract a blood disorder. If you do it can kill you.’

She’s 17, she’s a child, she has no clue how serious this is.

I’m sorry that I keep posting OP, but I’ve genuinely gone so racy at the thought of this. My husband cut his hand on a used needle and the aftermath was terrifying. Please get her to hospital.

I agree with the hospital but not police - they were stabbing each other. The other girl clearly went too far and sounds like a psycho. I assume your DD won't be seeing her again.

@WitchBaby

I agree with the hospital but not police - they were stabbing each other. The other girl clearly went too far and sounds like a psycho. I assume your DD won't be seeing her again.

No this needs the police. You’ve just said this other girl sounds like a psycho - hence why police are needed. She might do this to someone else.

People need to calm down here.

She may need medical attention, but rightly or wrongly it’s not uncommon for older teens to do stupid things like tattooing each other. Mine hasn’t, but it does happen often enough.

Let’s not blow this out of all proportion and start going on about the seriousness of it, and potential blood poisoning etc. If her tetanus is up to date then she should be fine. But OP should perhaps ring 111 to ask for some (professional) medical advice, not be panicked by randoms on the internet who are desperate to whip up a bit of hysteria.

As for the police, it was a stupid game gone wrong. Yes she’s under 18 but she’s in no way a child in the way people seem to be saying on here. She’s old enough to get married, to drive a car, to have sex. Whether we like it or not she’s old enough to do stupid things now and regret them later.

The police absolutely will not consider this an assault on a child. And even if the OP does go to the police, the girl will have to give a statement, and without that the police won’t do anything.

Consider this a lesson learned. The other girl is clearly unhinged and your DD needs to not spend any more time with her.

@AlternativePerspective HIV and staff infections are also a possibility....

@AlternativePerspective what is your professional background then? Because you seem happy to give both medical advice and police advice all in one post.

Given there's A and E staff on this thread saying go to A and E then perhaps that's the advice that should be followed, hey?

No this needs the police. You’ve just said this other girl sounds like a psycho - hence why police are needed. She might do this to someone else. the police won’t be interested. This wasn’t an assault, it was two girls behaving like idiots and it going wrong.

The OP’s DD was there and was a part of it, she wasn’t jumped on and assaulted. And besides which without a statement from her there is nothing that can be done.

At 17 she’s way past an age where her mum can just go to the police and insist the other girl be arrested. The DD is considered to be an age where she is competent and able to make her own decisions.

Whether people like it or not, as much as the OP might want to go to the police, this isn’t her call.

Realisitically the police aren't likely to do anything.

Ops dd did the same thing to the other girl.

The circumstances of how it happened will be dds word against the other person's word, and they both have injuries from this.

That's all the police will see.

If ops dd was keen to report and would cooperate then it would be a different story, but, as it stands, it's traumatic to be forced into reporting and will be pointless.

Let’s not blow this out of all proportion and start going on about the seriousness of it, and potential blood poisoning etc. If her tetanus is up to date then she should be fine. But OP should perhaps ring 111 to ask for some (professional) medical advice, not be panicked by randoms on the internet who are desperate to whip up a bit of hysteria.

You clearly have no clue of the dangers that can arise from being stabbed with a used needle. Tetanus is the least of her worries. HIV, Hepatitis are the greatest concerns. Additionally, have any muscles/veins been hit?

It is not hysterical to say she needs to be seen immediately by a medical professional.

what is your professional background then? Because you seem happy to give both medical advice and police advice all in one post. and how exactly does “ring 111 for some professional medical advice” equate to me giving professional advice?

No-one here is qualified to give medical advice, and no, “I work in a&e doesn’t qualify,” given this is the internet and we have no way of verifying people’s credentials. Hence why the OP needs to speak to 111 who will put her in touch with actual medical professionals.

But don’t let that get in the way of a good frenzy.

Agree with PPs re A&E as soon as possible. Then a real good chat with your DD about the kind of people she hangs out with and how alcohol and/ or drugs can lead to poor decisions and risky behaviour especially if you are with the wrong people. If she's not yet mature enough to walk away from certain situations then perhaps going out and staying out all night is not a good idea for her right now.

No-one here is qualified to give medical advice

Actually lots of people are qualified to give medical advice. Your qualifications don't suddenly disappear when you come onto mumsnet!

If you were, say, litterpicking, and got jabbed by a needle, you'd totally go to A&E. How is this any different? There's an unhinged person, playing weird games where you stab each other with a tattoo gun needle. Is this likely to be the first time that tattoo needle has been used? Either for tattooing or this stupid game? No-one knows! Therefore, you go and get all of the screening test you get done when you get a needlestick injury.

Surely, the only way of knowing of there's is any infection risk is to get those blood tests. (And by infection that could mean any of the real nasties, down to staph).

She was stupid. She now knows she was stupid. Don't let that stupidity continue any longer, get her to the place that can perform the necessary tests. Hospital.

@AlternativePerspective
If her tetanus is up to date then she should be fine.

Please explain how this alleviates the HIV/hepatitis risks that have been highlighted on this thread by actual HCP recommending A&E ?

If you think advising prompt PEP for needlestick injury is 'blowing it out of all proportion' then you clearly have zero understanding of the potential consequences and should consider that.

I hope your DD feels better, soon, OP.

Does she have low self-esteem? Drinking self silly on regular basis is not good.

I also don't think the police will do much.

But I agree so much with @thecatfromjapan has said, and I think it's so important that you read it and take advice from it.

I'm one of those teens who put myself in situations whenever I felt uncomfortable, where people would take advantage or hurt m etc, and id minimise it or laugh it off just so I could have friends, or be part of something, or not to upset someone else.

Get her see by a GP, keep her home, keep her safe, and then you can work with her on understanding boundaries and behaviour.

I'm in my 40's and am only now getting the hang of it, so the sooner the better.

Honestly I don't want to scare you but your dd has been stabbed with a non sterile needle - you need to get to A&E now and get proper advice. Hepatitis, HIV etc are all a concern and time is of the essence.

*As for the police, it was a stupid game gone wrong. Yes she’s under 18 but she’s in no way a child in the way people seem to be saying on here. She’s old enough to get married, to drive a car, to have sex. Whether we like it or not she’s old enough to do stupid things now and regret them later.

The police absolutely will not consider this an assault on a child. And even if the OP does go to the police, the girl will have to give a statement, and without that the police won’t do anything.*

Additionally incorrect. Whilst seventeen, she’s still the victim of a crime. She doesn’t have to ‘press charges’ or anything, the police will come, see a minor who is being treated in hospital with retrovirals and the like and have a duty of care to at least intervene. At an absolute minimum they will do a check on this girl’s house.

In cases of domestic violence, you don’t have to press charges for the police to intervene, they can contact CPS without your consent. Same in cases of assault/GBH. If OP’s daughter is in hospital with aggressive stab woundings and the girl has no visible injuries that clearly makes her an aggressor. It’s then up to the officers to establish whether it would be in the public interest (as is often the case) to proceed with intervention.

However as above, it is best to contact the professionals regardless so that they can take over how they see fit. Not to completely absolve them because it ‘doesn’t seem serious enough’ or ‘they wouldn’t do anything’.

We also don’t know whether Op’s daughter wouldn’t intervene. At that age I would have begged my mum not to intervene but in the presence of actual police officers I would have resolutely cooperated and told them the absolute truth. Which is all she needs to do, whether the police will intervene or not is not the point - this incident needs reporting.

That sounds bloody awful!

She says if she snitches they'll get her beaten up etc etc. And sadly I think she's right.

WTF? She needs to find some nicer freinds.

I'm not sure A&E would do anything except look for immediate infection; they don't treat HIV or incubating anything.

OP's DD needs to believe that she deserves better friends.