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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How the fuck do I deal with this

158 replies

1lifeliveitright · 21/08/2021 11:05

I've NC for obvious reasons. Just picked up my 17yr old dd from a 'friend's' house where she stayed last night. She's in a right state. She hasn't known this girl long and I don't know her at all but they have other mutual friends and she's gone back to her flat before after nights out.
So dd is crying and has been stabbed repeatedly with a tattoo gun in the leg. It's bruised and swollen and there was apparently alot of blood. Obvious needle mark. I've bathed it and it looks OK but I'm worried about infection. The fucking needle won't have been sterilised either.
I wanted to call the police there and then but dd has begged me not to as no-one does that and it'll have repercussions .
This girl is 18 and obviously dd is still a child. Any advice?

OP posts:
HurryUpAndWait23 · 21/08/2021 11:48

@TheSquashyHatOfMrGnosspelius

She needs medical attention. Hepatitis is the punchline of a joke no-one wants to hear!
Cringe
kierenthecommunity · 21/08/2021 11:50

Why was she out all night at that age

Seriously? She’s 17 not 11. I used to stay at my friend’s house every Friday night when I was 17 as it was easier to get to work the next morning from hers.

You can't consent to assault

Well you can’t consent to assault as the very definition means if you haven’t consented it’s assault. But you can consent to all sorts of physical contact and it not be classed as assault. Otherwise professional tattooists would constantly be getting locked up

KidneyBeans · 21/08/2021 11:50

@HurryUpAndWait23

I'm really confused as to why people are suggesting A&E.

This is in no way an emergency.

Sure she needs a blood test, hopefully she's up to date with her immunisations (tetanus), and a follow up blood test in a few months.

But that appointment can be made on Monday with her GP.

Because HIV and hepatitis are risks and antiviral prophylaxis is recommended ASAP

HTH

SunshineCake · 21/08/2021 11:51

Don't give into bullies or threats. Police. Hospital. You have no other choice.

Miracle29 · 21/08/2021 11:52

What a horrible situation to be in. If this girl can do this to a minor what else is she capable of? I agree with everyone else she needs to go to a&e before it does get infected. It might look ok now but can get infected later on which can cause all sorts of nasty problems. Speak with the a&e nurses and see what they suggest to do because of they suggest to get the police involved your dd might comply. I would then make sure she never sees this girl again. You need to be 18 to be tattooed so that's illegal for her to do that to your dd anyway. Can she fully remember what happened? If not then surley that's not consenting to being tattooed either. I know your dd is scared but this needs to be seen and dealt with straight away. Hope you can get this sorted soon

Jurassicparkinajug · 21/08/2021 11:52

Ah gosh your poor DD. That girl sounds like really bad news. Can your daughter keep away from her in future?
Call 111 for advice on where to take her but definitely seek medical advice ASAP, don't delay. She may need tetanus jabs etc. If it becomes infected you will be able to tell as it will red, warm and tender. Also if there's a yellow or green discharge, thats another sign of infection.

HurryUpAndWait23 · 21/08/2021 11:52

Because HIV and hepatitis are risks and antiviral prophylaxis is recommended ASAP

And an OOH GP can't prescribe that?

She has to go to A&E? Confused

MrsR87 · 21/08/2021 11:55

@HurryUpAndWait23

Because HIV and hepatitis are risks and antiviral prophylaxis is recommended ASAP

And an OOH GP can't prescribe that?

She has to go to A&E? Confused

The previous poster has said ASAP because if those drugs were recommended following a blood test, they are only effective for up to 72 hours after possible transmission. So with a possibility of a blood born diseases like previously mentioned, it would not be wise to wait until Monday.
TheCatsHaveEyes · 21/08/2021 11:55

Yes she has to go to a and e to get prophylaxis. Op this really is time crucial get her down there now.

Original poster
1lifeliveitright · 21/08/2021 11:55

I'm going to take her to hospital shortly. Well try anyway, hopefully she'll let me. Dd isn't far off 18, so not at school, she's working!
She defo drunk too much last night no question. She goes out every weekend but doesn't normally get herself in situations like this.

OP posts:
EyebeIbewe · 21/08/2021 11:56

@HurryUpAndWait23 Yes it has to be A and E, not out of hours GP. Not entirely sure why you think anyone should not go to A and E, particularly after an assault.

OP please go to A and E for PEP - it's really important you do this sooner rather than later as it works better the earlier the course is taken.

StoneofDestiny · 21/08/2021 11:57

A&E is the route or she could end up with a nasty infection or worse.

TableFlowerss · 21/08/2021 11:57

Aw god you poor thing and poor DD! That’s horrendous. WTF is wrong with people like….

EyebeIbewe · 21/08/2021 11:57

@1lifeliveitright also take photographs (did you take some before you bathed her?)

What a fucking monster that girl is.

Dixiechickonhols · 21/08/2021 11:58

I’d take her to minor injuries unit then take it from there. She needs medical attention - probably antibiotics and for testing for hepatitis etc.

StephanieJ · 21/08/2021 11:58

I think a&e with this one or at least an out of hours service. Once the hospital are told what's happened they will likely tell her to report it anyway or at least do all the tests that may be needed, I hope she's okay x

Yourstupidityexhaustsme · 21/08/2021 11:58

Fucking hell, wake her up and get her to hospital now. She’s going to need blood test and antivirals ASAP. It’s a used needle OP, god knows what’s on it - hepatitis, HIV, anything.

Also tell the hospital what has happened and call the police. This isn’t even assault I think this would classify as GBH depending this girl’s intent. If she contracts any blood disorder it certainly is.

I’m so sorry this has happened to her.

StephanieJ · 21/08/2021 11:59

Sorry just to add I only sat out of hours as depends how yours work, for example where I live if you call out of hours you get sent to one at the hospital anyway so if you need to go into a&e you're already there x

EyebeIbewe · 21/08/2021 12:00

It has to be A and E to get Post Exposure Prophylaxis - it cannot be out of hours or minor injuries... And PEP should be considered, although may not be given.

thecatfromjapan · 21/08/2021 12:00

By the way, I know I'm over-posting but I really do want to give you a hug.

It's horrible and it must be quite a shock for you.

Be kind to yourself.

I'm guessing you'll be pretty hard on yourself, be thinking all sorts of things. So will your daughter.

It will make her reactions quite ... spinet - towards you, I suspect.

The fact she's told you what happened is great. Some children wouldn't. So, that's brilliant.

Conversations will take time. It's never a case of 'one conversation:sorted.' If your dd is like most children, you'll get push-back. At times it will look like you're going backwards. But, ultimately, it all works out. Despite all impressions to the contrary, most youngsters do listen to their parents. It sinks in. You don't really see how it sinks in until years later, sometimes.

But, in the meantime, hug for you. It's pretty horrible.

Yourstupidityexhaustsme · 21/08/2021 12:00

@HurryUpAndWait23

Because HIV and hepatitis are risks and antiviral prophylaxis is recommended ASAP

And an OOH GP can't prescribe that?

She has to go to A&E? Confused

Not after 72 hours, no.

Why would you bloody risk it being in her system for any time longer than necessary? She’s been stabbed with a used needle - you’d be a bloody fool to not seek medical attention immediately.

Steelesauce · 21/08/2021 12:01

@HurryUpAndWait23

I'm really confused as to why people are suggesting A&E.

This is in no way an emergency.

Sure she needs a blood test, hopefully she's up to date with her immunisations (tetanus), and a follow up blood test in a few months.

But that appointment can be made on Monday with her GP.

As a previous a&e nurse, it IS classed as an emergency. She could potentially need pep. If you get a needle stick, you should go to a&e! OOH aren't able to do the bloods needed or give PEP.
LagunaBubbles · 21/08/2021 12:01

She needs medical attention asap. You know that. But you day you can't force her, you need to tell her she doesn't get to choose as it could have serious complications for her health.

KidneyBeans · 21/08/2021 12:03

@HurryUpAndWait23

Because HIV and hepatitis are risks and antiviral prophylaxis is recommended ASAP

And an OOH GP can't prescribe that?

She has to go to A&E? Confused

Yes

Why keep questioning something you clearly have no knowledge of.
Needle stick injuries ARE emergencies

Soberanne · 21/08/2021 12:03

I am sorry OP you really need to take a stance here with your daughter. Posters on here are telling you its vital she gets the treatment quick to prevent potentially serious infections and your saying shes 17, sheskn bed, shes sleeping. But in your first post you said the other girl is an adukt but your daughter is a child. Tell herto get out her bed and get dressed and tell her exactly why.