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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To continue walking through this forest?

120 replies

littlemagpies56 · 19/08/2021 23:23

My sons playgroup is a 25 minute walk from my house where I briefly cut through a foresty walk area, usually a few dog walkers there.

Recently there was a sexual assault on a women there during the afternoon and it's made me feel quite uneasy about walking that way. The man hasn't been caught. There have been a couple of assaults reported here over the years, not many however but I suppose that isn't uncommon for forestry areas, it definitely isn't a regular occurrence however.

I need to decided wether to pay for the next term of classes starting September which I was looking forward to, my son has such fun and it gets us out the house however now I can't help but feel nervous about walking through there (I hate that I feel this way now!). What would you do? :/

OP posts:
housewifeathome · 19/08/2021 23:25

I wouldn't walk through it personally! Could you drive there?

54321nought · 19/08/2021 23:26

walk around it

TimeForTeaAndG · 19/08/2021 23:28

Is there anyone else from the nursery group walking that way you could meet up with and walk together?

lljkk · 19/08/2021 23:31

I'd still go there. Reminder to be aware.

if I were a pervert... would I hang around well-known scene of crime where ppl were looking for me or lay low in a new place. I know crims aren't bright sparks, but you'd think even they would be minded to stay away from where they were being looked for.

ODPO · 19/08/2021 23:36

As the weather starts to change there May be less people around. Unless another parent could walk with you I think I'd give the walk a miss and find another route and find another area you can take your dc to enjoy the outdoors.

WorraLiberty · 19/08/2021 23:45

I'd carry on as unfortunately nowhere is safe from being sexually assaulted anyway.

Can you not walk round it if you feel nervous?

Original poster
littlemagpies56 · 20/08/2021 00:15

I can't go around it unfortunately, badly worded with 'cut through'. It's the only way I can get to the group and I don't drive. Nobody to walk with either as they will be driving. Might have to see if I can find a different activity or class to do instead :/

OP posts:
BBABaby · 20/08/2021 00:18

I’d still do it. I’d be alert, though - phone in hand to call if you need, etc. I don’t like the idea of giving up things because of fear, and I am stubborn. Ultimately though only you can gauge your risk tolerance.

teaandpastries · 20/08/2021 00:24

Are you in south Bucks by any chance? If so I also use the forest

Hidehi4 · 20/08/2021 00:26

There was a horrendous rape where I walk my kids too school. Unfortunately no other way to get there. I carried my house keys between my fingers and a bottle of fly spray in my bag. Really extreme I know but it made me feel safer walking back on my own

OhWhyNot · 20/08/2021 00:28

I wouldn’t

Many offenders will stick to the same pattern and their attacks increase in number and levels of violence

You are scared they will see that a mile off

Gingernaut · 20/08/2021 00:34

Screech alarm in hand

Original poster
littlemagpies56 · 20/08/2021 02:10

@teaandpastries nope not south bucks x

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 20/08/2021 02:17

No, I wouldn't walk through a forest where there's been a recent sexual assault. It's not quite the same as walking down a street, is it?

Susannahmoody · 20/08/2021 02:18

I wouldn't walk through it

Losttheequipment · 20/08/2021 02:20

I don’t think I would until the person has been caught. I hate to feel I’m giving into this kind of thing, but you need to keep yourself safe and you’ll end up not liking going to the group if you are worried about getting there and back.

GreyhoundG1rl · 20/08/2021 02:20

@littlemagpies56

I can't go around it unfortunately, badly worded with 'cut through'. It's the only way I can get to the group and I don't drive. Nobody to walk with either as they will be driving. Might have to see if I can find a different activity or class to do instead :/
How big is this forest?
KingdomScrolls · 20/08/2021 05:54

In light of the circumstances is there another parent who would give you a lift? The person who said they won't reoffend in the same area has been watching too many TV dramas. In fact it's likely if they do they will do so in a known location, and keep in mind they haven't been caught so it worked out for them the first time. Do you have any friends with a big dog you can borrow?

BarbaraofSeville · 20/08/2021 05:58

What a strange question, about the size of the forest that is. Plenty of forests are far larger than 25 minutes to walk through.

Difficult question OP and one that I worry about. I've always walked alone and do wonder about how I would change my behaviour in a similar situation. It's all very well saying have your phone to hand, keys through your knuckles or carry an alarm, but realistically if there's an attacker out there in the forest and you're a lone woman, most women are unlikely to be able to fight off or run away from most men, I certainly couldn't.

If there's no-one to walk with, I think I'd probably give this a miss until the attacker is caught unfortunately. Sad

Is there no-one to give you a lift, you could offer petrol money?

lannistunut · 20/08/2021 06:00

I understand the dilemma but this sums up how awful the situation is around assaults on women - how sad to have to drive to avoid it.

When I walk through an unsafe area I call my DH and chat while walking so he can report immediately if anything happens. How many minutes are you in the wood? If a short bit of your journey, could this work for you?

HeronLanyon · 20/08/2021 06:09

Although I’m not fond of bikes using footpaths can you buy a bike of bikes are allowed ? Would that feel safer to you ?

HeronLanyon · 20/08/2021 06:10

Or borrow a bike to give it a trail run before you decide ?

Onlinedilema · 20/08/2021 06:13

But and carry a rape alarm. Remember most women are not attacked or assaulted by strangers , they are attacked by someone they know.

Onlinedilema · 20/08/2021 06:13

But=buy

OliverBabish · 20/08/2021 06:24

How shit for you to have to make this decision.

I wouldn’t and that pisses me off. I’d just worry and be stressed for the entire walk.

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