To continue walking through this forest?

[littlemagpies56]

My sons playgroup is a 25 minute walk from my house where I briefly cut through a foresty walk area, usually a few dog walkers there.

Recently there was a sexual assault on a women there during the afternoon and it's made me feel quite uneasy about walking that way. The man hasn't been caught. There have been a couple of assaults reported here over the years, not many however but I suppose that isn't uncommon for forestry areas, it definitely isn't a regular occurrence however.

I need to decided wether to pay for the next term of classes starting September which I was looking forward to, my son has such fun and it gets us out the house however now I can't help but feel nervous about walking through there (I hate that I feel this way now!). What would you do? :/

A rape alarm can be of use even if no one hears it. They are incredibly loud. I once found one and didn’t know what it was so pressed it. The noise made me feel sick and I had to lie down! So if pointed at an attacker can actually immobilise them temporarily.

No I wouldn't. I would avoid. But I have had a near miss a while ago. So I am unable to remain naïve.

A dog is useless in most cases. My own has the ability to bowl someone over - to kiss them to death 🤣

No I wouldn't be walking that way ever again

Like a PP said, these people only increase the frequency and violence with their attacks. I've watched enough documentaries that show this behaviour over and over again until they are caught

It's all very well saying ' be alert' ' carry keys or an alarm' but the sad reality is these will do nothing to help you in an attack. Better to be preventative then hope your phone being at hand will somehow save you.

@BreatheAndFocus

I wouldn’t walk through it. I used to walk in a forest every day but then had to report a creepy guy hanging around there. I tried to go back a few times after that and saw other new men there. It wasn’t a quiet, safe, familiar walk anymore. So sad.

I’d walk round it or get a bus or a lift, or simply find another playgroup. I know that’s ‘giving in’, but it seems most sensible to me.

What was the police response to "creepy guy"? We had to report someone like this and it was never followed up.

@HarrisMcCoo

A dog is useless in most cases. My own has the ability to bowl someone over - to kiss them to death 🤣

Same. We’ve got a rather ‘hard’ looking staffie/boxer cross. He’s an absolute barrel and I like to think that just the look of him alone would be enough to put off any potential flasher or attacker.

Alas, he would probably kill them with with frantically wagging tail.

Dogs aside, I think the best bet would be to ask if any other parents from the play group also use the woods to walk there? Surely there must be one or two who do? You could arrange to meet at the entrance and walk through together.

@Warmduscher hard hearted or not, I stand by it. Make alternative arrangements to get there if needs be but don't involve my family pet.
As I said, it could cause offence if someone randomly asks to borrow a dog and they get told no! Especially as it's the go to suggestion on here at the moment, its seems a more reasonable request than it actually is.
Other dog owners obviously may feel differently but I did want to make the point as lots of posters on this thread made the suggestion.

I would still walk there - i walk and wild camp alone as a single woman almost every weekend and so am pretty relaxed about it.

The reality is attacks like this are very rare and the majority reported are actually done by someone known to the victim rather than a total stranger.

But it is perfectly normal to feel nervous and it is good that you recognise this.

I always reassure myself by not watching true crime documentaries which grossly exaggerate the risk and crimes committed but instead focus on the actual statistics. The number of assaults is extremely rare - the number of people who would assault a women with a child is even rarer and the number of times that there are repeated attacks by the same person in a local area is even rarer still and the vast majority of sexually assaults are at the more minor end of the scale. I am in a number of solo women campers groups etc and not one of us has ever had a problem or known anyone who has had a problem.

This does not mean there is no risk but that the risk is far lower than mainstream society makes it out to be. We all take precautions though and the main deterrent to any crime is noise and this is why rape alarms (or dogs) work it is not that they attract people but that they scare the offender away so carrying one may give you some extra confidence to begin with.

Riding a bike is a good suggestion too.

What's the point if suggesting a dog, even if op had one? She's going to playgroup.

I walk in secluded woods most mornings to walk my dog, alone. I've often thought nothing of it until one day I felt pure terror when I reached a part of the woods. I turned around and ran out. I have been back since then and never experienced that feeling since. I'd say carry on as you are, but listen to your gut feeling. If something feels off then turn around and leave. Just tell your child you feel poorly.

I've decided not to go this way anymore unless with somebody. I'll figure out a different activity for this day. Such a shame but after reading the majority of these responses I think it would be best to keep safe. My partner agrees he would rather I didn't go through there also.

It is such a shame as it is a lovely walk, it's a forest but one that's kept nice with a walking path, water with ducks etc where people often go with dogs or walks with their children. It isn't super busy but I always see somebody usually however as PP said, it may become quieter during the colder months.

I cut through for about 10 minutes through a path that isn't in the actual forest part but a gravelly path next to it (it's all the same place however). The attacker chose late afternoon so it wasn't even early morning/darker evening when it happened.

I have dogs however I'm going to playgroup so couldn't bring them. The lady attacked was actually walking her dog. I don't think I'd be able to get away fast either as I have my pushchair.

There was a violent mugging of a women at a junction on a trail that I frequently run through. I swerved it for a little while but it is far too awkward to avoid long term.

I have a wrist based attack alarm. I bought it when there was a serial sex attacker opperating in areas too close to home although not my usual routes. I don't expect people to rush in and help, but it is a distraction and could potentially raise awareness of witnesses.

While I can think of a couple of high profile attacks where children were present, it is far rarer than solo women. However, being predictable in your patterns is not good. I'm happier lone running in isolated places with cover because I vary my routes a lot and don't have ingrained, predictable habits of same time same place.

It's difficult. Women should not have to change and plan their habits around the threat of a minority of dangerous men. Women are not at fault if they are in the wrong place at the wrong moment, but we still don't want to be at high risk of it happening to us. Generally I don't avoid going to woods or out in the dark because woods/ dark. That is too much of a generalised sacrifice. But I have temporarily changed my behaviours around specific, localised threats where there is an elevated risk of repeat offending.

Women are not at fault if they are in the wrong place at the wrong moment, but we still don't want to be at high risk of it happening to us.
Well that's it in a nutshell, isn't it? It's absolutely not the woman's fault, but that's cold comfort after the worst has happened.
Having the moral high ground is of no use whatsoever.

I wouldn't

If you don't drive (I don't) then you could get a bicycle with a child seat. Not necessarily for cycling through the wood (although that itself would feel safer for me as it would take a lot less time) but because it would hopefully make a longer alternative route more doable than on foot.

I sometimes carry www.deep-heat.co.uk/products/deep-heat-pain-relief-spray/ if nervous. Not because I intend to spray it in someone's eyes obviously :) But its a perfectly legal product that can relieve muscle tenseness caused by worrying about being attacked etc etc.

Any area that doesn't have many people is a potential risk. Will you avoid all of them?

I'd just pay more attention to my surroundings (a good idea wherever you walk, anyway) and keep going.

Remember that the likelihood of sexual assault from strangers is much lower than from men we know.

As an aside to this, I am so paranoid about dog theft (have a tiny chi) that on an ex cop friends advice, I have a small tin of deep heat in my dog walking bag ... pepper spray obvs is illegal but ya know, sore knees and all that ... theory being I can spray in a human OR dog attackers eyes if I wanted to ...
I live closeish to that por PCSO Julia who was murdered in Kent recently, it's very scary isn't it. I don't go anywhere as secluded as that alone now.

I wouldn't worry about it. You're not suddenly "safe" because you walk somewhere different. You might get attacked in the forest, you might get attacked in the street, you might get attacked at home - the point is, nowhere is safe. You should always be ready to defend yourself from an attacker wherever you are or whoever you are with (lots of women are attacked by people they know).

darn it @apalledandshocked i typed too much and too slow lol

This is why violence against women should be considered a hate crime, it spreads fear throughout the affected population and inhibits our daily activities. At some level I’m sure many attackers intend to get at all/any women.

While you are more likely to be murdered by someone you know, I agree with the PP who said that she and all her friends have had horrible experiences with strangers, and that is true for me too. Every woman I knew when young had multiple accounts of being stalked/ flashed at/ assaulted. In my teens I lived near a park where there were multiple rapes. Eventually they caught him (in the act so it was definitely him) but then there were more rapes- a copycat psycho had obviously thought it was a good hunting ground. It’s really sad, I love walking in quiet places by myself, but I do sometimes wish I could carry a gun..Maybe you could find some other women locally who would like to walk with you OP ?

Any area that doesn't have many people is a potential risk. Will you avoid all of them?
But most places have more people than the middle of a forest, even if most of the people are indoors rather than on the street.

I mean, yeah, you could get attached in the street, but when I was attacked in the street by a stranger I screamed bloody murder, and as there were houses all around, he ran off. There are also more likely to be cars and other people around in a street. Forests/ secluded places attract weirdos, they just do.

[quote JustGiveMeGin]@Warmduscher hard hearted or not, I stand by it. Make alternative arrangements to get there if needs be but don't involve my family pet.
As I said, it could cause offence if someone randomly asks to borrow a dog and they get told no! Especially as it's the go to suggestion on here at the moment, its seems a more reasonable request than it actually is.
Other dog owners obviously may feel differently but I did want to make the point as lots of posters on this thread made the suggestion.[/quote]
I understand why you wouldn’t want your own dog to be loaned to someone else and I think it’s fair enough to state that.

It was more that you were so dismissive of the OP’s understandable anxieties about how her usual route had suddenly become more unsafe by saying she should work around it. There was no need to be so lacking in empathy.

Get yourself a personal alarm, and always keep it ready when walking through there. They are loud, and very useful for situations like this.