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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To continue walking through this forest?

120 replies

littlemagpies56 · 19/08/2021 23:23

My sons playgroup is a 25 minute walk from my house where I briefly cut through a foresty walk area, usually a few dog walkers there.

Recently there was a sexual assault on a women there during the afternoon and it's made me feel quite uneasy about walking that way. The man hasn't been caught. There have been a couple of assaults reported here over the years, not many however but I suppose that isn't uncommon for forestry areas, it definitely isn't a regular occurrence however.

I need to decided wether to pay for the next term of classes starting September which I was looking forward to, my son has such fun and it gets us out the house however now I can't help but feel nervous about walking through there (I hate that I feel this way now!). What would you do? :/

OP posts:

Rangoon · 20/08/2021 06:31

If they are still at large and are local without transport then they may well consider the forest their one local hunting ground. I don't think I'd risk it. An alarm is pretty pointless if there is no one to hear it. It's not fair that you have to alter your behaviour because of this offender. Surely somebody would be able to give you a lift in the circumstances.

Eviethyme · 20/08/2021 06:36

Yes but I would get a rape alarm and pepper spray and always carry them whilst walking through

groovergirl · 20/08/2021 06:43

Just awful. So sorry, OP.
I'd still walk that way, but then, I've learned martial arts, am wary and regard the whole of the world as my birthright, whether others approve or not.
If you are fit and confident about defending yourself, I'd say keep treating this path as your rightful passage. If not, can you ask a friend to walk with you? I hate to think of women relinquishing ground because of these criminals.

Oceanbliss · 20/08/2021 06:44

Can you ride a bike with toddler seat along the path or is it unsuitable for bike riding?

I might be being naive but I’d feel safer on a bike as I would hopefully be going to fast to be grabbed.

Or travelling a much longer way by road will be much faster and doable on a bike.

Or if you are going once a week could you take a cab there?

Exhausted5487 · 20/08/2021 06:55

I had a similar situation but had the option of going another way - hated that i had to walk double the distance because i didn't feel safe but I always felt so stressed and anxious going that way that I couldn't do it.

DenbyChina · 20/08/2021 07:01

@Eviethyme

Yes but I would get a rape alarm and pepper spray and always carry them whilst walking through

Yes to the rape alarm and to a PP’s comment about carrying keys in hand.

Unfortunately, pepper spray is illegal in the UK.

eurochick · 20/08/2021 07:03

I would still use it but keep a rape alarm and travel sized hairspray with me (the latter being a substitute for pepper spray).

FreeBritnee · 20/08/2021 07:05

Walk through whilst holding a high pitched noise device in your hand or similar?

muddyford · 20/08/2021 07:07

How long are you walking through the wooded area? Could you borrow a dog?

Funnylittlefloozie · 20/08/2021 07:13

The tip about a travel-sized hairspray or bodyspray is a good one - it will shock and delay any attacker, and knowing you've got a 'weapon' on you will are you appear more confident.

Someone suggested being on the phone - I understand this but I don't think its actually a good idea. You need your wits about you, not to be distracted by chat.

I like the idea of borrowing a dog, if you possibly can, but defo keys and / or hairspray.

It makes me so angry that we have to consider things like this, for what should be a lovely stroll through a beautiful place.

FTEngineerM · 20/08/2021 07:13

You can also get your iPhone to call someone in an emergency by clicking the lock button 5 times, when it calls it makes the absolutely loudest alarm sound I’ve hear from a phone ever.. try it. Android probably have a similar function.

I’m not sure I would, I struggle doing things like that with our 57kg Rottweiler which is a shame.

HavelockVetinari · 20/08/2021 07:17

@Eviethyme

Yes but I would get a rape alarm and pepper spray and always carry them whilst walking through

Pepper spray is illegal in the UK.

Definitely buy a rape alarm though, have it in your hand or round your neck.

Since you don't drive it must seriously limit your options for baby groups, so I'd continue to go unless you can find an alternative.

TheSloaneRanger · 20/08/2021 07:17

Please don't walk there until its safer to do so. It's wrong that you have to change your behaviour but better to stay safe
My worry would be more for my child, they won't care if your child is there or not

Confusedandshaken · 20/08/2021 07:19

PP are right. Rape alarm and hairspray and an air of being aware and alert.

garlicandsapphires · 20/08/2021 07:23

I would continue walking through but not listen to music and maybe carry a rape alarm. It makes me cross that some idiot pervert might get in the way of the things I enjoy (and I very much enjoy walking through woods on my own)

NewlyGranny · 20/08/2021 07:24

Fingers crossed he'll be caught next week!

This is what the "not all men" brigade just don't get. You don't need every man to be a rapist to make every woman feel unsafe and narrow their lives down. One will do it.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 20/08/2021 07:25

rape alarm not much good if it is too secluded, no one will hear

carry a big stick or something heavy

AbsolutelyPatsy · 20/08/2021 07:26

hair spray sounds good

gogohm · 20/08/2021 07:28

Do you have a dog? Mine was rather adept of ensuring any lurkers (and I encountered a few dubious types including a flasher) knew he was with me, and knew how to defend us. Being a sheepdog he guarded us, his flock rather well (growing under his breath to men passing by at night was typical, no teeth just a warning) - the flasher ran a mile, dog properly snarled but stopped chasing on command as he's trained . Police didn't catch him alas

Mummadeze · 20/08/2021 07:32

I would find an alternative activity. I would find it too stressful to go through the worry every week. Sorry you have to face this decision though.

Bettysnow · 20/08/2021 07:37

Do any of your neighbours have a dog? Preferably a big dog that you could borrow and take with you?

Bettysnow · 20/08/2021 07:38

Sorry see someone has already suggested a dog.

onelittlefrog · 20/08/2021 07:38

@littlemagpies56

I can't go around it unfortunately, badly worded with 'cut through'. It's the only way I can get to the group and I don't drive. Nobody to walk with either as they will be driving. Might have to see if I can find a different activity or class to do instead :/

Can you arrange a lift with somebody else at the group? Tell them you are worried since this crime happened but don't want to stop your son going to the group? You might be surprised at the support people will offer and you could offer something in return, either money or helping them with their child some other time?

Singinginshower · 20/08/2021 07:42

What do all the people suggesting OP gets a dog suggest she does with it when she gets to the playgroup?

Disfordarkchocolate · 20/08/2021 07:45

I'd walk with some sort of rape alarm in my hand. Could you borrow a dog?

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