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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To continue walking through this forest?

120 replies

littlemagpies56 · 19/08/2021 23:23

My sons playgroup is a 25 minute walk from my house where I briefly cut through a foresty walk area, usually a few dog walkers there.

Recently there was a sexual assault on a women there during the afternoon and it's made me feel quite uneasy about walking that way. The man hasn't been caught. There have been a couple of assaults reported here over the years, not many however but I suppose that isn't uncommon for forestry areas, it definitely isn't a regular occurrence however.

I need to decided wether to pay for the next term of classes starting September which I was looking forward to, my son has such fun and it gets us out the house however now I can't help but feel nervous about walking through there (I hate that I feel this way now!). What would you do? :/

OP posts:

countrytown · 20/08/2021 11:59

A recent YouGov poll for UN Women found that seven out of 10 women had experienced some form of sexual harassment in public.
This number was nearly nine out of 10 for younger women.

I think harassment is far more common with strangers

countrytown · 20/08/2021 12:01

You might get attacked in the forest, you might get attacked in the street, you might get attacked at home - the point is, nowhere is safe.

Well yes but you can have a bit more choice over someone coming into your home & Id rather be attacked on the street with CCTV, witnesses etc as opposed to a forest.

Angliski · 20/08/2021 12:01

I’d cycle with kid of the back? Can you do that?

GlaskinsPerpetual · 20/08/2021 12:07

I recently saw something on TV about the murder of Lindsay birkbeck who was killed while crossing woodland. The killer had scared another woman in the same place before but she got away. I wouldn't

Gobbycop · 20/08/2021 12:11

Not sure if anyone has mentioned this product, it files under the rader a bit.

Farbgel.

It's a UK legal defence spray, no active ingredients it's just an inert dye which I believe is how it's legal.

Let's face it, getting water in your eyes can sting so this probably does.

Might just give you the surprise upper hand in order to run from an attack.

WildFlowerBees · 20/08/2021 12:28

Carry a rape alarm, are there any self defence classes near you that you could do?

SchrodingersImmigrant · 20/08/2021 12:30

Honestly, we couldn't walk anywhere if we all not want to walk through areas like this.

Popcornriver · 20/08/2021 12:31

Do you know anyone with a medium/large dog that would appreciate you taking it for a morning walk?

I take my dog for late night/very early morning walks and her company makes me feel at ease walking in areas I otherwise wouldn't. I don't for a second believe she'd ever be aggressive but believe her size would be a deterrent to weirdos. Obviously goes without saying that it's an absolute disgrace that we should even have to think of deterrents from being attacked, but I don't think continuing your walk as you are now is worth the risk OP

SchrodingersImmigrant · 20/08/2021 12:34

@Gobbycop

Not sure if anyone has mentioned this product, it files under the rader a bit.

Farbgel.

It's a UK legal defence spray, no active ingredients it's just an inert dye which I believe is how it's legal.

Let's face it, getting water in your eyes can sting so this probably does.

Might just give you the surprise upper hand in order to run from an attack.

It's the surprise element, but also... It apparently doesn't wash off for a week or so!

RealBecca · 20/08/2021 12:36

Perhaps raise with the venue and or consider raising with your PCSO team. Probably neither will do much but perhaps there could be a short term solution amd thoughts for a longer term one, like better lighting or alternative routes? If you are considering boycotting the venue for fearals about your safetly then there is a socioeconomic impact that the councillors may also be interested in helping to resolve.

If you raise it you may also get safety advice like settings on your phone to call to police or sound an alarm after a period of inactivity x

Liberett0 · 20/08/2021 12:38

Do you have a dog you can walk with?

BreatheAndFocus · 20/08/2021 12:48

What was the police response to "creepy guy"? We had to report someone like this and it was never followed up

They didn’t seem that interested initially, but I gave them more details HarrisMcCoo and they kept a record in case anyone else made a report or had problems. They also sent a patrol car down to the forest entrance at the time I’d seen the creepy guy, and did this for a few days to make their presence known.

This guy seemed to have picked this area because it was popular with dog-walkers, particularly women. He was hanging around near places where you’d have to enter or exit the forest purposely to speak to women in a way I can only describe as creepy and intrusive and that rang all my alarm bells.

Winceybincey · 20/08/2021 12:50

Rape alarm and pepper spray in your hands as you’re walking through. Saying that I was attacked unexpectedly from behind, he had me in a headlock so if I had pepper spray I wouldn’t have been able to use it but could have used a rape alarm if I had one and was on guard. It was unexpected though so if I had anything in my hands I’d likely have dropped them from being startled.

So rape alarm, pepper spray and be on guard!

It’s shit how we have to live as women!

AtticusHoysAnus · 20/08/2021 12:52

It's the surprise element, but also... It apparently doesn't wash off for a week or so!

It's about the best we can do in the UK.

I like the deep heat option too

I'm actually a cop in the UK, it's a disgrace criminals always have the upper hand.

I can speak freely here, I think the law abiding should be allowed to carry CS spray, the full monty stuff.
As long as checks were carried out, no criminal history, approved course (it could be half a day), person gets licensed (like firearms), approved safe when not in use then I don't see why not.
If it's used and that use isn't justified then the person is subject to the usual offensive weapons or assault laws.

I've used it twice in 15 years, person with knife, person with golf club.
It's not perfect but on both those occasions it stopped them in their tracks.

The law abiding should be allowed a right to reply that doesn't involve years of ninja training.

countrytown · 20/08/2021 13:00

@AtticusHoysAnus that's refreshing, I'd happily carry CS spray

bellmyring · 20/08/2021 20:07

I was victim of stranger rape as a teenager, and it has made me super cautious and wary (as well as a lot of other things!).

You'll be told that the chances of anything happening to you are tiny, and that is true. But I would not do it.

It's awful that we have to make these decisions.

pugdisco · 20/08/2021 20:28

OP - is this Foxes Forest?

HarrisMcCoo · 20/08/2021 20:47

@WildFlowerBees

Carry a rape alarm, are there any self defence classes near you that you could do?

Best fight is the one you can get out of.

HarrisMcCoo · 20/08/2021 20:58

@BreatheAndFocus

What was the police response to "creepy guy"? We had to report someone like this and it was never followed up

Really glad you got more information so it was followed up. Unfortunately the time I was followed by a guy, the police claimed that he hadn't done anything to me, that it could have been coincidence going same route. Apparently he was innocent 🤷 he didn't assault me fair enough, but it was a close call. I am thankful there was a dog walker in the distance and if there hadn't been it could have ended badly. Secluded area.

All these safety checks we have to do as women really saddens me. Takes the joy out of going walks🙁

BingoBhango · 20/08/2021 21:11

Google 'self defence keyrings' and a load of options come up. Some have rape alarms, long pointy things, and I just saw one that was effectively a knuckle duster in the shape of a cat.

However, a weapon is only useful if you are able to use it. If there is even the slightest chance that you will freeze or hesitate in a dangerous situation then it's better to try and avoid it altogether.

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