Why do men...

[VsgKitt]

I was stood in a toilet que recently with some lairy idiots sat besides.
The men were talking loudly and occupying 2 tables which the que was in the middle of.

I'm fat. I know this. I was ironically days away from bariatric surgery.

It was the day, I wasn't dressed up, no make up. Just minding my own business.

One said loudly to the table behind me 'if this is the level of women out here in XYZ we should have just stayed at home'

They laughed and another said 'two fat ladies, 88'

I didn't even look at them. I didn't give them the satisfaction. I just ignored them and same when I came out.

I don't understand it. I really don't. Yes I'm fat. I'm 36. I'm not going to be attractive at all to these 20 odd year olds. I don't aim to be. I'm just minding my own business.

I couldn't ever imagine singling out a stranger with the sole intention of causing them pain emotionally.

I find it so strange.

I’m nearly 52

I have never been criticised by women about my appearance…on the contrary ive often had compliments

I have had compliments from men as well, but every negative comment about my appearance has come from men

I’m sorry you had some heartless morons treat you this way. There’s no excuse. I remember when I was a 15 year old waitress and had to wear a top with my name on the front left hand side. I had so many men say “what’s the other one called?”. Never once did a woman say that to me.

It really is not the case that “women are just as bad”. Don’t know what your agenda is but that is flat out wrong. The abuse from men to women is endemic.

I completely agree with above statement.

I'm an unfortunate looking man and, when I was younger, I'd receive similar unsolicited public critiques of my appearance quite regularly. It was 95% women. I think its an opposite-sex thing.

As someone who is incapable at the best of times of keeping my gob shut, I'd have probably given them a mouth full and started a riot. Which actually sort of happened once when a bunch of complete nobheads working in a garage started shouting rude stuff at me. They never expected a 5ft me to leg over a busy road and confront them. Not something I'd recommend for safety's sake these days. But I never used to engage my brain much I'm afraid. I just see these types of idiots as never having left puberty.

Because these types think they own women and that we are just here for them to Gael at, so they get angry when they can’t do that.

Don’t pay them any attention OP, ugly bitter personalities show in the outside.

Gawp at*

I hate this, normally when stuff like this I have done what you did, ignore and not dignify with a response but a few years ago I had lost a few stone and on a night out out in a city centre pub, I was loving myself sick and felt so confident waiting at the bar when three teenage lads decided to comment that I was a ‘big, fat girl’ I was two drinks in and just responded that I knew and wasn’t it just awful. I wish I hadn’t as it would have not made a blind bit of difference. The funny thing is it is never good looking, well dressed, fit men that make these comments it is always the lesser, shorter type who I would not even have noticed without them helpfulness signalling themselves.

@PumpkinKlNG

When I was heavily pregnant a car full of men drove past and shouted hey fatty 🙄

I would have been tempted to shout, at least I’ve had sex 🤣

That's exactly what you should expect from inebriated boys. They wouldn't do this if they were in their own and your lack of response was the best. Good luck with the surgery. Xx

Thing is, if you were super slim they still would have made comments, but a different kind: how much they'd bang you, how you're gagging for it.

I'd rather be called fat than have all that, tbh.

That's a really horrid thing to happen. I agree that it does tend to be more men that make these nasty loud comments but I think some women also do this to men, usually if the man is on his own at the time. Its the sort of bullying, attention seeking, wannabe alpha type of person who will say this stuff. Terribly hurtful. As the mother of quite a sensitive young man who is still learning how to feel secure about his appearance no matter what anyone else says, I know this works both ways.

Doubt it. Many, many women fat shame men or comment on the (assumed) size of their genitals. Women are often just as bad and it's completely unfair to tar all men with the same brush.

Really, so you have witnessed a similar scene in a Cafe, a group of women are sitting and a man walks past minding his own business, and the women start calling out rude remarks about how he is fat and has a small dick? You have witnessed this??

Never in a million years.

This does not happen in all places though. The UK seems to breed some sort of special, misplaced male entitlement

Doubt it. Many, many women fat shame men or comment on the (assumed) size of their genitals. Women are often just as bad and it's completely unfair to tar all men with the same brush.

^

They don't say it so loud that people can hear though. That's the difference

@SmidgenofaPigeon

That’s all we are FOR when we go out isn’t it?! To be looked upon, and have our virtues discussed or dismissed by the opposite sex.

Sigh.

This. It makes me so fucking angry.

I was on a zebra crossing once, walking to work, and 2 30ish year old blokes shouted out of the car window - hurry up you fat cunt. So that was nice.

They don't say it so loud that people can hear though. That's the difference
They definitely do. It might be less common than when men do it, but it's certainly still very common. I've mainly had it for my looks, but sometimes due to wrongly-assumed sexuality.

They don't say it so loud that people can hear though. That's the difference

Appreciate this is anecdotal but I have seen plenty of middle-aged overweight blokes on bikes have insults hurled at them by idiot women. Sadly though, the overwhelming direction of abuse is from men towards women.

I also remember working in a call centre and one day being say next to 3 young women who had recently started. Think I had about an hour of 'God you're so ugly; are your parents ugly? Have you ever had a girlfriend? Did they mind you being so ugly?', while I just tried to be friendly, change topic and brush it off, before I eventually just gave up and walked out.

That's awful NameMcChange. In a work place as well. I hope you complained.

That's awful NameMcChange. In a work place as well. I hope you complained.
No I just left and never came back. I was used to it to a large extent and hadn't found the confidence to asset myself.

I bet these guys were real heartthrobs- not. Ignore them, they really aren't worth your time or care.

The ones I do regret not challenging were occasions where I was in town with a male friend, and young women would chant homophobic slurs. While I wasn't deeply affected, not being gay myself, it's the type of hate/intolerance that I really ought to have challenged, rather than keeping my head down.

@NameMcChangeFace

I also remember working in a call centre and one day being say next to 3 young women who had recently started. Think I had about an hour of 'God you're so ugly; are your parents ugly? Have you ever had a girlfriend? Did they mind you being so ugly?', while I just tried to be friendly, change topic and brush it off, before I eventually just gave up and walked out.

Wtaf?

So many man who think we all, every single fanny owner, exists for their viewing pleasure. Either to salivate over or mock and everything in between.

Sigh...big sigh.

Years ago when I smoked.

Was having a cigarette while waiting for a taxi.

Man next to me, about forty years my senior, turns to meet and says, "it'll stunt your growth you know".

Twenty five, five foot eight and built like a brick shithouse, I reply, "doesn't seem to have worked so far".

He says, "don't do that. Don't put yourself down".

To this day, I don't know what he meant by "put yourself down", but I wasn't looking for an opinion of my young fabulous self opined by a stinky scruffy old fart who thought he had the right to pass judgement.

DH came outside to join me, put his arm around me and the old smingebag looked crushed like he was actually trying to chat me up. This was many years ago before calling it negging was a thing but I think he was attempting it.

We are women, unique and varied, not walking Tinder photos. I think an awful lot of men would like the option of swiping random women off into the sky, to be exploded in a hail of electronic tinkles and explosion sparkles, for the sin of not being fuckable in their eyes. The fact we would never even consider fucking them never seems to come up, strangely enough.

Are most men closet INCELs. I think maybe.