Why do men...

[VsgKitt]

I was stood in a toilet que recently with some lairy idiots sat besides.
The men were talking loudly and occupying 2 tables which the que was in the middle of.

I'm fat. I know this. I was ironically days away from bariatric surgery.

It was the day, I wasn't dressed up, no make up. Just minding my own business.

One said loudly to the table behind me 'if this is the level of women out here in XYZ we should have just stayed at home'

They laughed and another said 'two fat ladies, 88'

I didn't even look at them. I didn't give them the satisfaction. I just ignored them and same when I came out.

I don't understand it. I really don't. Yes I'm fat. I'm 36. I'm not going to be attractive at all to these 20 odd year olds. I don't aim to be. I'm just minding my own business.

I couldn't ever imagine singling out a stranger with the sole intention of causing them pain emotionally.

I find it so strange.

It's really sad that there are idiots out there who have to resort to shit like this to make them feel good about themselves. Sad gits.

Yes I'm fat. I'm 36. I'm not going to be attractive at all to these 20 odd year olds

I guess I read this the wrong way VsgKitt I do apologise.

Always men. When I was a care assistant as a teenager I heard a service user say about me 'I'd love to come home to her after the pub and hit her black and blue'. Women are objects to soak up their hate.

I used to be morbidly obese and was all too used to this kind of treatment. And it was always from men, usually groups of men rather than one on his own. It was utterly humiliating and hurtful but as others have said, it reflects more on them than me/you. They’ll always be horrible people, you won’t always be fat.

can't tell you the amount of times this shit has happened to me. Its always been men. Never had it from women.
That's just my personal experience but yes, always men.

I suspect that what the previous poster was getting at was that women do it as well regarding men. Working in a female office the attractiveness and 'shaggability' of the various men was a topic for some of the girls especially on a night out.

Can I just point out that EVEN IF the OP was going to be obese for the rest of her life, it’s STILL not ok for randoms to make comments on her attractiveness. There’s a lot of ‘at least you won’t always be fat but they’ll shears be pricks’ comments and it’s irrelevant really because no one should be making comments about a stranger’s appearance like that.

*always be pricks.

@SmidgenofaPigeon

Can I just point out that EVEN IF the OP was going to be obese for the rest of her life, it’s STILL not ok for randoms to make comments on her attractiveness. There’s a lot of ‘at least you won’t always be fat but they’ll shears be pricks’ comments and it’s irrelevant really because no one should be making comments about a stranger’s appearance like that.

Nobody said it was Jesus :/

Yes they did, @AryaStarkWolf so calm down.

@SmidgenofaPigeon

Yes they did, *@AryaStarkWolf* so calm down.

They said it would be OK to comment on her attractiveness if she was going to be obese for the rest of her life? No, they really didn't.

I'm sorry you were treated this way.

Imo it reflects the feeling of entitlement that many men have towards the public space and the idea that any woman sharing it with them is fair game (either to hit on or to make fun of). Not quite the same, but wolf-whistling and other forms of low-level harassment of women are also manifestations of this entitlement.

That’s not even what I mean? You’re wilfully misunderstanding.

I said that comments like ‘you won’t always be fat, they’ll always be horrible’ ‘you can lose weight, they’ll always be cunts’ sort of imply that it’s because OP is/was fat is the reason pricks like that make these kind of comments when they’re just shit human beings that probably judge women’s appearances on all kinds of criteria. But it doesn’t matter if the OP loses weight or not, wants to, or can, or whatever, it’s her choice.

Sigh. I KNOW what I mean.

@Peanutsandchilli BS! 99.9799999% of the time it's by MEN.

My mate gets this ALL the time. She has PCOS and gets constant abuse about her weight and her facial hair. Always from men. It happens day in day out.

@SmidgenofaPigeon. I agree with you in the sense that women of all shapes and sizes incur abuse and unwanted attention in the public sphere. Losing weight won't necessarily make this stop...it's not the cause of the attention. It's just the thing they noticed about her and decided to pick on. It could have been red hair, blonde hair, a limp, a facial disfigurement, anything.

''It’s just part of a misogynistic worldview that says we should look pretty at all times, lest a nearby man wants to look at us.''

I have seen women do this at men too. Gender isn't the issue here.

@SmidgenofaPigeon

That’s not even what I mean? You’re wilfully misunderstanding.

I said that comments like ‘you won’t always be fat, they’ll always be horrible’ ‘you can lose weight, they’ll always be cunts’ sort of imply that it’s because OP is/was fat is the reason pricks like that make these kind of comments when they’re just shit human beings that probably judge women’s appearances on all kinds of criteria. But it doesn’t matter if the OP loses weight or not, wants to, or can, or whatever, it’s her choice.

Sigh. I KNOW what I mean.

That's what you said though "Can I just point out that EVEN IF the OP was going to be obese for the rest of her life, it’s STILL not ok for randoms to make comments on her attractiveness." and that's what I meant in my first reply to you that you "willfully misunderstood", I meant people never said that it would be ok to insult her if she never lost weight, of course it wouldn't be, no one said or implied that in any way, shape or form in this thread

Well, I probably didn’t explain myself very well.

I think men are just more upfront with it. Most vile comments I’ve heard have come from women but they do it behind your back rather than to your face. There are awful people of both genders.

@AryaStarkWolf

Unfortunately the world is full of absolute cunts. What truly ugly to the core people they are.

This 1 million times over. Sorry you had to experience this. Nobody has the right to make you feel that way.

I'm sorry this happened to you. They were vile.

But not all men are like this.

It’s definitely more of a man thing!

How many times have women been told ‘cheer up love, it might never happen!’

Because we are supposed to be pleasant and look cheerful to blokes. A man would not say that to a random man passing him in the street.

''I think men are just more upfront with it. Most vile comments I’ve heard have come from women but they do it behind your back rather than to your face.''

have you watched take me out and the behaviour of the women towards the 1 man?
Everything that is being criticised here about men doing, our own gender do openly on national tv.

I think men are just more upfront with it. Most vile comments I’ve heard have come from women but they do it behind your back rather than to your face.

Yes, because they think they're entitled to your attention. Both men and women can be cruel, but women don't usually feel the same entitlement to their victim's attention. Men who do this sort of thing are usually trying to intimidate as well.

Sadly Neanderthals are still dragging their knuckles around.