My garden, my business?

[ImprobablePuffin]

Background: I live in an HA property. I'm a SEN with two SEN children. They have a lot of sensory needs among many other things.

I would like to have a part of my front garden as a wildflower meadow, partly for sensory reasons, partly because I love nature and think it's far more beautiful than a perfectly kept lawn etc.

Anyway I tried to do this a couple of years ago but the neighbour (not HA - possibly relevant) complained to the HA about the 'overgrown' garden and I was threatened with an ASBO unless we cut all the wildflowers and grasses down (I didn't even know you could get an ASBO for this!)

So I cut all the flowers down and now the garden looks awful in my opinion. I don't have time to garden which is why I wanted a natural wildflower garden. Next door spend a lot of time tending their front garden, they are child free by choice and have time to do this. Having two SEN kids does not afford me this luxury, so out the front nothing pretty grows.
I also know some people think wildflowers look messy which is why I wonder if AIBU.

My question is AIBU for planting the wildflowers? WIBU if I did it again? Why does the neighbours preference trump mine? If I owned my property they wouldn't get a say, so why do they get a say just because I needed a HA property due to not being able to work because of the kids. It all just feels a bit unfair.

Can you put the wildflowers in some sort of planter or pots so they don't look "messy"?

They were fairly nearly in the existing beds, not scattered all over the place iyswim

Neatly, sorry

I would suggest planting some bedding areas with wild flowers to keep it tidy or promoting what you are trying to do within your local community I.e. a little sign explaining its a nature garden for bees and butterflies

Put up a little wooden rustic sign saying ‘bees welcome’ with a wooden bee so they know it’s on purpose rather than messy.

Agree with the planter or even just a few big stones marking out the bed, or maybe do a big square of it in one corner with stones to border it rather than the whole lawn and you should get away with it.
I think it sounds lovely!

@Beachmum23

I would suggest planting some bedding areas with wild flowers to keep it tidy or promoting what you are trying to do within your local community I.e. a little sign explaining its a nature garden for bees and butterflies

Oh that is a great idea I hadn't thought of that! That would look quite sweet too

I agree with a PP, I think I would have windowboxes or pots filled with Malva, cornflowers, German chamomile and poppies.
Malva is reliably perennial and flowers for a long time, chamomile will seed itself every year but you would have to re sow the cornflower and poppy every year.

I have wild flowers in planters in my front garden. Also have a small garden at the side of the house, where there is a holly tree. The bit of grass there is not worth cutting, so spreads some wild flowers.

Its going to be the difference between making it look like you are doing with intention, rather than it just looking over grown.

I would, have imagined the HA would have agreed it looked over grown. Which is why they asked you to sort it out.

The ideas here are fab and will help it look like it's an intentional act.

The trouble with wildflowers is they need a very poor quality soil and for a lot of them; poppies and cornflowers being the best known, they actually need the ground dig up in order to return next year.

Because of those two reasons ‘wildflower’ lawns tend to end up looking unkempt and more grass than flower.

The solution imo if you like the look is pots where you can easily re sow annuals that need overturned soil (cornflower, poppy) or beds of perennial or re seeding wildflowers like Malva, Roman Chamomile, fox and cubs, herb robert, primrose, bluebells etc.

Sadly the majority of the time a wildflower front garden just looks a mess, I’ve tried it. Easily solved though if you clear a defined patch and use stones around the edge or some planters to keep it contained. A ‘bees welcome’ sign would probably help your neighbours understand the purpose.

I think I would also go with pots/planters/beds. Partly because of the neighbours but also a wildflower garden can be quite time consuming to keep it balanced and looking good. We have one (by accident) and we have to do maintenance to it to stop some of the more rampant species taking over completely plus, and when it does come time to cut back the grasses and flowers it is a pain to do the mowing because they are so long.

I think this question is one for your HA.

@Powertothepetal

I agree with a PP, I think I would have windowboxes or pots filled with Malva, cornflowers, German chamomile and poppies. Malva is reliably perennial and flowers for a long time, chamomile will seed itself every year but you would have to re sow the cornflower and poppy every year.

These suggestions are fab, malva in particular is beautiful.

That’s a shame.

Depending on your garden, maybe add some dwarf fruit trees ( max 1m) or some blueberries bushes ( dwarf variety also). If you put in the strip under window or along edge and added border and wood chip down, they would be very low maintenance, last years, and something edible for your children.

Add wildflowers in section with border around so it looks like it’s there for that reason.

If you did a bed of wildflowers like the fox and cubs, herb Robert, buttercups, Malva, cowslips, Primrose etc you could even include absolutely no grass with the flowers but edge the borders with unusually coloured ornamental grass like blue fescue Elijah and black mondo.

Un-mown grass looks messy even if it has flowers in it. Could you partly mow so it's clear that the long flowery areas have been left intentionally?
My neighbour's garden is full of birds and other lovely wildlife because he never goes out in it, but the brambles are shoulder high and it does look a complete state - my visitors often remark on how overgrown it is!

Seems a bit over dramatic from the HA.

But to reach an even balance I would do defined beds/areas of wildflowers/potted wildflowers and maintain the grass in the center as kept.

I have the opposite problem, my front garden is full of wild primroses in spring it's a sea of soft yellow primroses and I have been advised by the LA not to touch them/against the law. But then once they start to die back I am allowed to cut the grass and keep the lawn tidy.

To be honest I don't mind, saves me a job till they die back 😂

What does your tenancy agreement say? You must have been in breach of agreement for them to take action. Can’t you have wildflowers at back and have front in keeping with neighbours. Private owners it’s their house so can do what they like unless there are covenants.

Wildflower gardens just look messy, sorry. Nobody wants to live in a messy, overgrown area and if it brings the tone of the place down then you either need to tidy it up into a proper garden or give it up.

There's been a change in attitudes over the past couple of years towards wild flowers and insects with the HA I rent from partaking in 'No Mow May' this year.
Why not contact your neighbourhood officer and have a chat?

@pinkcircustop

Wildflower gardens just look messy, sorry. Nobody wants to live in a messy, overgrown area and if it brings the tone of the place down then you either need to tidy it up into a proper garden or give it up.

Wildflowers are essential to the planet and our survival. Neatly manicured grass lawns or worse patios have destroyed ecosystems and affect ground water run off. And who decides what a "proper garden" looks like anyway? Ideas over the look of gardens have changed over the years.

You could put part clover, part creeping thyme or something like that. It's very low maintenance, flowers and bees love clover.
I agree eith pp that wildflower meadows often end up looking just unkept later. Put of wildflowers and some low maintenance ground cover.

The neighbours also most likely worried about the flowers soreading to theirs. Once you get "weeds" they stay🙄

Ridiculous. Wildflower gardens are becoming more and more important. In my neighbourhood there are lots, including on traffic islands and in council estates.

I also don't think you should have to muck about with borders and planters as people here are suggesting. Just plant them and fuck the neighbours. They need a life if they're so upset by someone else's flowers and tall grass.

When you say 'threatened with an ASBO' do you mean formally/legally? or just that someone said it to you? I'd be looking into/asking the council exactly what you can get an ASBO for.

Wildflower gardens just look messy, sorry. Nobody wants to live in a messy, overgrown area and if it brings the tone of the place down then you either need to tidy it up into a proper garden or give it up.
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