My garden, my business?

[ImprobablePuffin]

Background: I live in an HA property. I'm a SEN with two SEN children. They have a lot of sensory needs among many other things.

I would like to have a part of my front garden as a wildflower meadow, partly for sensory reasons, partly because I love nature and think it's far more beautiful than a perfectly kept lawn etc.

Anyway I tried to do this a couple of years ago but the neighbour (not HA - possibly relevant) complained to the HA about the 'overgrown' garden and I was threatened with an ASBO unless we cut all the wildflowers and grasses down (I didn't even know you could get an ASBO for this!)

So I cut all the flowers down and now the garden looks awful in my opinion. I don't have time to garden which is why I wanted a natural wildflower garden. Next door spend a lot of time tending their front garden, they are child free by choice and have time to do this. Having two SEN kids does not afford me this luxury, so out the front nothing pretty grows.
I also know some people think wildflowers look messy which is why I wonder if AIBU.

My question is AIBU for planting the wildflowers? WIBU if I did it again? Why does the neighbours preference trump mine? If I owned my property they wouldn't get a say, so why do they get a say just because I needed a HA property due to not being able to work because of the kids. It all just feels a bit unfair.

Whoops meant to use wildflowers

Neighbour could be a miserable sod as he is concerned the seeds from your wildflowers,which he sees as weeds,will blow into his perfect boring garden.

@ImprobablePuffin

Also to clarify it's not that I can't do ANY gardening, I just don't have time for hours of upkeep and I'm very invested in local wildlife conservation so that is why I chose wildflowers

Garden doesn't need hours of work to be nice... I know because I am lazy AF but have a garden which actually looks solid (no, not teh "perfectly manicured" which I don't even know what it is tbh. Basex on other things on MN I take it it means kept🤷🏻). You don't need wildflowers for wildlife preservation. You can use massive variety of plants. You are just stuck on wild flowers.

Are you in Scotland btw?

Wildflower meadows need a lot of nurturing and tending to get them looking nice instead of unkempt. You have to weed regularly (especially the noxious invasive weeds that can spread to neighbouring gardens and are often toxic).

One way would be to put weed matting down, then plant wild flower seed or seed mats on top (with soil) so you just get the flowers. You can get bee bombs and roll out seed mats cheaply.

Otherwise it’s a mess of unkempt looking weeds and random plants, thistles, nettles, brambles. Great for wildlife and pollination not so nice to look at.

Could you plant something easy and low maintenance instead eg flowering heather, primulas, pansies, other plants that come back each year? There are so many plants with sensory benefits (scent, feel eg the velvety leaves of lambs ear etc). Night scented stock, a jasmine bush, fuchsia bush, lavender etc? All low maintenance.

@SchrodingersImmigrant no not Scotland, SE England

Well, it depends on the wildflowers you allow to thrive. If you, like many people do, leave thistles, ragwort, dandelions, and other annoyances to go to seed and spread into your neighbours carefully cultivated gardens then yes, you are being unreasonable and un-neighbourly. If you feel you don't have time to garden then it's an overgrown weed patch. Wildflower Gardens require maintenance and quite careful attention in a suburban setting. Strim the weeds twice a year to keep the peace.

@pinkcircustop

Wildflower gardens just look messy, sorry. Nobody wants to live in a messy, overgrown area and if it brings the tone of the place down then you either need to tidy it up into a proper garden or give it up.

I love wildflowers and the natural overgrown look. Better than a sh!tty stripy lawn and stupid gnomes.

I see a lot of wildflowers these days, even planted by the council on pavemented areas like near my local bus stop. They look so lush and pretty!

I'm with you Op. I'd do as others suggest and put them in specific areas so that they look intentional at least. Well done for helping the bees! I would too (if I had a garden ).

Some good suggestions re making it look intentional but I honestly don't understand why you'd need to. It's your garden, as long as it isn't a fly tip or dangerous it's tough shit if neighbours dislike it

Our neighbour does this, but he mows a ring around the edge (like a border) to show that it's intentional and not unkempt.

@honeyytoast

Some good suggestions re making it look intentional but I honestly don't understand why you'd need to. It's your garden, as long as it isn't a fly tip or dangerous it's tough shit if neighbours dislike it

No it's a rented property not owned

Wild flower gardens look amazing in my opinion.
Our local council have, in recent years, moved from regimented marigolds to wildflowers for all of our roundabouts and they all look absolutely stunning and are sooooo beneficial to wildlife.
We have given over a third of our back garden this year to wild flowers and it’s been sooo successful, we have so much wildlife, rabbits, voles, butterflies, bees, birds and many, many more that we don’t see.
The other 2/3 is split between lawn/ patio and veggies.

We also have about 6 little bee hotels dotted around and we are fully booked all year!!!

I did wildflowers in planters this year and before they bloomed I had worried that I'd actually just planted loads of weeds because it looked like long straggly messes.

Beautiful when they did bloom though.

We havent got a front garden as such. One of our neighbours has and has THE most beautiful "gone wild" wildflowers. So beautiful that Im longing for a chance to tell them theirs is my favourite local front garden.

Yes you rent from the HA but thats none of the neighbours business. Totally up to you what you do as long as its within the rules of your tenancy.

@ImprobablePuffin

Also to clarify it's not that I can't do ANY gardening, I just don't have time for hours of upkeep and I'm very invested in local wildlife conservation so that is why I chose wildflowers

I’m in California. When I was younger, I was fortunate to live in my great-grandparent’s house on their ranch that they purchased in the 1880s. There was a strip of dirt up the long drive that was just perfect for flowers - so I tilled the soil, and scattered several canisters of wildflower seeds. They were glorious! I spent two summers picking large bunches and giving them to friends. Now, our state (& much of the western USA) is in the middle of a SEVERE drought and on top of that — it’s literally burning down. Word is, they’re going to start rationing water by October. Goodbye, flowers, goodbye, green grass. I’d give anything to see the verdant hills of the UK. @ImprobablePuffin good luck with your wildflower garden, or your “bee & butterfly” garden, or whatever you decide to do. I hope you and your children enjoy it and that your crappy neighbors chill the hell out.

@ImprobablePuffin
My apologies — I’m not reading this thread front to back (more like back to front now), so if somebody has already suggested this, I don’t mean to duplicate.
Don’t forget wisteria! They are sooo beautiful and I’m sure you could either plant one in a pot. Or in a corner of your garden. The purple and flowing blossoms just take my breath away.