My garden, my business?

[ImprobablePuffin]

Background: I live in an HA property. I'm a SEN with two SEN children. They have a lot of sensory needs among many other things.

I would like to have a part of my front garden as a wildflower meadow, partly for sensory reasons, partly because I love nature and think it's far more beautiful than a perfectly kept lawn etc.

Anyway I tried to do this a couple of years ago but the neighbour (not HA - possibly relevant) complained to the HA about the 'overgrown' garden and I was threatened with an ASBO unless we cut all the wildflowers and grasses down (I didn't even know you could get an ASBO for this!)

So I cut all the flowers down and now the garden looks awful in my opinion. I don't have time to garden which is why I wanted a natural wildflower garden. Next door spend a lot of time tending their front garden, they are child free by choice and have time to do this. Having two SEN kids does not afford me this luxury, so out the front nothing pretty grows.
I also know some people think wildflowers look messy which is why I wonder if AIBU.

My question is AIBU for planting the wildflowers? WIBU if I did it again? Why does the neighbours preference trump mine? If I owned my property they wouldn't get a say, so why do they get a say just because I needed a HA property due to not being able to work because of the kids. It all just feels a bit unfair.

Herbs are good. Most the basic herbs a will survive the winters and just grow each year so little maintenance. Lavender looks lovely

Huge difference between overgrown and unkempt and a wildflower garden.

Grow nice things that are easy and offer a good bee friendly space. Mint is excellent coverage. Nasturtium in summer grow easily from seed. Periwinkle can be pretty ground cover. Children love growing sunflowers. I’ve always found lavender a bit harder than some other plants. Hollyhocks grow well and bees love them.

I just don't have time for hours of upkeep and I'm very invested in local wildlife conservation so that is why I chose wildflowers
It has been said many times already but honestly, wildflowers are NOT low maintenance!!!!

In fact, they are probably one of the most, if not the most difficult ‘style’ of gardening to do!

Unless the soil is sufficiently crap the grass will take over.
Most of the flowers associated with wildflower meadows are cornfield annuals and will not return unless you dig up the whole lot.
The vast majority of the time attempts at wildflower meadows look shit.
Sorry but they do.

The answer is pots and/or borders filled with perennial and self seeding annuals that fit with the ‘wildflower look’

@pinkcircustop

Wildflower gardens just look messy, sorry. Nobody wants to live in a messy, overgrown area and if it brings the tone of the place down then you either need to tidy it up into a proper garden or give it up.

Wildflower gardens are winning top awards and they are the latest thing in garden fashion actually. They are also crucial to aid the survival of insects and all the birds and animals that rely on them. You do know that if bees die out, humans die out right?

Your view is shortsighted, outdated and out of touch. I feel sorry for your garden.

We have wildflowers in our beds, they do look a mess at this time of year but you can’t mow them until September to give them a chance for reseed. You then have to mow and lift the cuttings away to ensure you get the best chance at regrowth.

I saw some on Twitter recently that had paths mown into them, or little edges of mown grass to make it meander. It turned it from messy looking (which, I LOVE) to purposeful

@Powertothepetal

I just don't have time for hours of upkeep and I'm very invested in local wildlife conservation so that is why I chose wildflowers It has been said many times already but honestly, wildflowers are NOT low maintenance!!!!

In fact, they are probably one of the most, if not the most difficult ‘style’ of gardening to do!

Unless the soil is sufficiently crap the grass will take over.
Most of the flowers associated with wildflower meadows are cornfield annuals and will not return unless you dig up the whole lot.
The vast majority of the time attempts at wildflower meadows look shit.
Sorry but they do.

The answer is pots and/or borders filled with perennial and self seeding annuals that fit with the ‘wildflower look’

I don't need advice on whether they're tricky or not, I was coping fine with them. The garden wasn't overgrown it just isn't manicured to within an inch of its life

Wildflower areas do still need maintenance and take some work to keep looking tidy. Would you consider some shrubs instead? Something like hydrangeas need hardly any or no maintenance at all depending on the type.

I have SOME time to do minimal garden jobs just not hours upon hours pottering and grooming every square inch of garden.

Thank you for the brilliant and constructive ideas put forward.

I love wildflowers too and grow them in containers. I rent too and it's hard to meet the standards when what you dream of is a meadow. I would recommend lots of lavender. You can get lots of plants cheaply if you buy it from a hedging plant website, it grows fast, looks good all year round, covers the ground so very little weeds get through, low maintenance-just cut back the spent flowers, is definitely an acceptable plant to those fussy about these things, and it will be absolutely full of bees and butterflies all summer. You could add in bulbs for colour earlier in the year-alliums are great for bees, and perhaps umbellifers like fennel too, and annuals like nasturtium, cornflower and calendula for more colour later in the year.

I recognise how busy you'll be having 2 SEN children, but I doubt HAs threaten prosecution because neighbours don't like the flowers you've planted. They have set criteria they work to. Maybe there was a miscommunication somewhere down the line.
Its not true that privately owned houses are all exempt from such rules. My relative lives on an estate of privately owned houses. They have strict guidelines on what they can do in the front garden, such as no hedges, no trees, no fencing, no obstruction of sightlines. They also have to keep the garden tidy and under control. The properties fall under a covenant and this is enforced by the local council. I live in the same borough, but my garden can look as disreputable as I like.

I'm not sure why you feel the need to be rude and snappy to posters

Some people have mentioned how the grass takes over. Now, I’m not an expert gardener but Yellow Rattle plant weakens grass growth so you get more flowers if you plan to have meadow flowers.

I have just ordered from here: www.kissmygrass.co.uk/search/?search=Rattle&Go.x=0&Go.y=0&Go=Go

And they also have a seed bundle of low growing wildflowers. Best of luck.

Sadly in a rental, your garden is not just your business.

I don't need advice on whether they're tricky or not, I was coping fine with them. The garden wasn't overgrown it just isn't manicured to within an inch of its life
I’m not sure I’ve made myself clear here..
You said you picked wildflowers because you didn’t have much time.

All I am saying is wildflowers are not the choice for someone with not a lot of time.
They are very difficult to do well because they need a very poor soil, in regular soil the grass and dandelions will take over.
And most of the wildflowers we associate with ‘wildflower meadows’ are cornfield annuals who need the ground completely turned over each year.

It wasn’t intended as an ‘attack’ on you.

If you don’t have much time and want wildflowers you would be best with containers that you can re sow each year of cornfield annuals or a border with perennials that look like that sort of style, a mix of perennials and self seeding annuals, some native like Malva and primroses and yarrow and some not like echinacea and black eyed Susan’s for example.

With the additional posts you have written - I think it might be worth going for a different planting style.

How about a prairie meadow planted with actual plants. You can grow them from seed on the window sill.

Stipa, Echinacea, Rudbeckia, Verbena, Gaura, and then Cammasia & agapanthus from bulbs

Sorry OP, you said "I was threatened with an ASBO unless we cut all the wildflowers and grasses down" so it sounded like you had mixed in grasses with the flowers (and a lot of the cheap seed mixes have grass seed in). It's also a common mistake! It's also common for unmaintained wildflower beds to turn into an unruly, untidy, ugly mess.

Hopefully you can find somethings in amongst the suggestions that will give you the garden you want and stop the neighbours complaining. I would add sunflowers, violas and antirrhinums (snap dragons) to the easy self-seeder, bee friendly, low maintenance list. Ornamental salvias (sage family) have the same wispy, delicate look of a lot of wildflowers that you like, are perennial, easy to care for and pretty (they come in lots of colours) and are bee friendly. They also smell delicious when you brush past the leaves (like blackcurrant). The mint family is a bit of a brute and will take over the bed but it sounds like you aren't that bothered? Or you can grow it in containers to stop the spread. You can get all different flavours eg pear, strawberry, chocolate, lemon balm that are perfect for a sensory garden and herbal tea.

@gardeninggirl68

I'm not sure why you feel the need to be rude and snappy to posters

Only at the ones saying I should give up my house because I can't invest much time into the garden and similar. I haven't been at all 'snappy' with posters offering helpful and constructive advice.

@MyNameIsJane

Some people have mentioned how the grass takes over. Now, I’m not an expert gardener but Yellow Rattle plant weakens grass growth so you get more flowers if you plan to have meadow flowers.

I have just ordered from here: www.kissmygrass.co.uk/search/?search=Rattle&Go.x=0&Go.y=0&Go=Go

And they also have a seed bundle of low growing wildflowers. Best of luck.

Thank you I'll take a look. I've never heard of yellow rattle to be honest.

@LemonSwan

With the additional posts you have written - I think it might be worth going for a different planting style.

How about a prairie meadow planted with actual plants. You can grow them from seed on the window sill.

Stipa, Echinacea, Rudbeckia, Verbena, Gaura, and then Cammasia & agapanthus from bulbs

I love agapanthus I always feel they require more upkeep than I can give. I'll have to do some more research as in my dream garden I would also have some beautiful alliums.

@chesirecat99

Sorry OP, you said "I was threatened with an ASBO unless we cut all the wildflowers and grasses down" so it sounded like you had mixed in grasses with the flowers (and a lot of the cheap seed mixes have grass seed in). It's also a common mistake! It's also common for unmaintained wildflower beds to turn into an unruly, untidy, ugly mess.

Hopefully you can find somethings in amongst the suggestions that will give you the garden you want and stop the neighbours complaining. I would add sunflowers, violas and antirrhinums (snap dragons) to the easy self-seeder, bee friendly, low maintenance list. Ornamental salvias (sage family) have the same wispy, delicate look of a lot of wildflowers that you like, are perennial, easy to care for and pretty (they come in lots of colours) and are bee friendly. They also smell delicious when you brush past the leaves (like blackcurrant). The mint family is a bit of a brute and will take over the bed but it sounds like you aren't that bothered? Or you can grow it in containers to stop the spread. You can get all different flavours eg pear, strawberry, chocolate, lemon balm that are perfect for a sensory garden and herbal tea.

Should have been more specific I had some ornamental grasses in the beds such as bunny tail grass and carex - I had to get rid of all of it to avoid the ASBO as per the advice of my HO

Oh my god this sounds like a nightmare!
I can well believe that people can be so nasty as this neighbour unfortunately
Got one like it myself

I have agapanthus. They need very little attention. Just separating every few years, and deadheading. A flowerbed with easy perennials that need very little looking after sounds like what you need.

Plant the wildflowers. Councils are purposely planting meadows at the moment.
Tell your neighbours to keep their nose out.

I’ve got a purple erysimum and lime green euphorbia that’s like a bee and butterfly magnet, requires very little maintenance and gives good coverage to stop the weeds wildflowers