Asked out by someone considerably richer and educated than I am

[Shariotlion]

Name changed for this.. Regular poster don't want this linked back to my other posts..

I work in a hospital, in an Admin role. I support a very executive person within my trust. Our offices are based quite near to theatre. Every day, I see the same consultant, and we exchange smiles and pleasantries.. Today I was sat for lunch in the staff canteen and I saw him, he walked past and said hello and sat at the table opposite me (we're still socially distanced in hospitals) we chatted for a bit then I got up to leave and he did also.. I walked back to my office then ten minutes later I received an email from him saying he enjoyed our chat and would be nice to go for lunch properly. He must've seen my full name on my ID badge.. He's not my usual type, I'm mid 30s and I'd say he was 50+ he has a full head of white hair and is built..
I've been single about a year and have a young daughter, I'm in no rush for a relationship but also don't want a casual thing.. He's been a consultant for 10 years.. I don't know, I suppose I feel like I have imposter syndrome and what would be the point as we probably don't have much in common and are from completing different backgrounds.. Would it even be worth pursuing???

Ooo joining to see what happens with your lunch! I hope you have a decent lunch either way 👍🏽

If you find him attractive and there's a connection then why not meet up with him?;it doesn't even have to be lunch;you could keep it casual with meeting in a coffee shop?

I'm assuming although you see him at work you don't actually work with him.If he's in his 50's then it's likely he's been married/has children but he could divorced or separated.

I'd be slightly wary if he's quite recently separated though.

I'd also be asking myself if I was mid thirties with one child do I see myself wanting more children because if you do then a man in his is probably going to be less likely want children.

@TheKeatingFive

There’s a huge power imbalance between them in terms of status and age.

That’s rubbish though. The fact that he’s older and more senior in work absolutely doesn’t equate to a ‘huge power imbalance’

There are some really weird assumptions on this thread.

It’s not rubbish at all.

There’s no way, for example, that the OP could have asked him for lunch, at work, in the way he asked her. It would be completely unthinkable. The NHS is very hierarchical.

There’s no way, for example, that the OP could have asked him for lunch

Of course she could have. All you mean here is that you wouldn’t have.

I think it’s more difficult for women to ask men out in general though. I mean, even if the OP were a female consultant, would that make it any easier for her to ask out a male admin person in the canteen?

If they end up dating their jobs are irrelevant. I’d be far more concerned about the age gap and if he is married, recently divorced, other nightmare baggage, etc.

The NHS is very hierarchical

Some parts of it are, others aren’t. I’ve worked in several trusts and this absolutely wouldn’t be a problem in any of them.

@Shariotlion
Er.. I am not beneath anyone!

But that’s precisely what you were implying with your title and opening post!

Obviously no human being is beneath any other. But the NHS is hierarchical (as is society to a lesser extent) and I think that’s what you felt was a big enough problem to make you start this thread…

He answered from his phone as he was out of office - his PA would still see the reply if she reads his sent mail.

I think you're reading too much into things, he has asked you to the work canteen, not out to dinner. He might ask lots of staff to lunch, to get to know them.

@Shariotlion@Bluesheep8you say you're not beneath anyone but your whole post is about this, isn't it? Why would you be worried about him being more educated etc than you if this was of little concern to you?

I was frowning at the "quite common for consultants to marry beneath them" comment

I know why he’s going for someone much younger, and I’m sure you’re lovely, but I’d question is why isn’t he going for a younger medic - on a similar wavelength?

Just be careful in case he’s the type who sees the admin staff and nurses as handy shags but wouldn’t have a proper relationship with. Alternatively in case the type who likes to dominate in relationships and chooses women who feel awed by him.

Hope you had a nice lunch.

How did the date go?

Thought i'd share an update.
We did meet for lunch, it was really nice :) chatted a lot and he was very open with his life, he's been divorced for 2.5 years, he said him and his ex wife drifted apart and they both remain amicable with each other and she's moved on.
The only thing that put me off was that he has older children, one is only 1 year younger than me, and of course he is a grandfather..... his grand kids are older than my daughter!
It all seems a little bit odd.. but that said, it was just a nice lunch.
He emailed me later in the day to say he really enjoyed speaking to me and would like to go off site next time and he'll treat me to a proper lunch.
Don't know if he's leading up to just wanting a sh*g haha.
I liked his company all in all and would meet him again, he seemed genuine and was open and answered every question i asked.

@Shariotlion yeah, but do you fancy him?

Yes, he is quite attractive up close !

Well that all sounds quite positive!

@Shariotlion but will his bottom be wrinkly and squishy? 🤭

Just caught up on this. OP - he sounds nice. He’s gone about things in the old fashioned way; met someone he liked and asked them - in a respectful way - to go to lunch. Far, far nicer than posting dick pics on the Internet in the hope of meeting randoms! Age is a number (certainly when you get past a certain age!). I would definitely go out with him again.

Love this OP, you chatted, he liked you and asked to go for lunch.

I'd enjoy having some company and see where it goes, don't overthink it just enjoy it

Nice update. If nothing else happens you had a lovely chat.

Agree with @WimpoleHat and @MaintainingPositivity

Great update OP

Ohhhhh this is sounding promising OP. Enjoy!