Send thank you cards for baby gifts?

Itsbeen84yearss · 2021-08-18T13:30:45+00:00

Is it me or is it bad form not to send thank you cards if you’ve invited people to a baby shower or even any following baby’s birth? I didn’t do a shower when I was pregnant but I still sent out cards for gifts people had been generous enough to give. Just wondering if I’m being OTT.

bookh · 18/08/2021 14:40

I thought I would never have children and bought gifts and attended things for years and only once received a thank you card.

I now send them for every single gift my DD received because I know how much it meant for me to receive one.

However, in my circles, I'm the oddity and nobody else sends them.

fuzzymoomin · 18/08/2021 14:42

It's just basic manners isn't it. I'd settle for a thank you phone call or email, or even a text, but seems these days there is nothing, I find it incredibly rude. Perhaps it's a generation thing. I was brought up to always send a thank you note after receiving a gift.

GotTheDisneyBlues · 18/08/2021 14:43

I never sent thank you cards after my baby shower or for gifts sent when DD was here.

I either thanked people in person or acknowledged via text/phone call but never crossed my mind to send cards, and I'd not expect one from someone else either.

Doomscrolling · 18/08/2021 14:45

It’s nice, if a little old fashioned, but thanking them in person or by phone/email/text is also fine.

DisgruntledPelican · 18/08/2021 14:46

Like @GotTheDisneyBlues I think as long as a thank you has been expressed in some way, there is no need for a formal thank-you card. I did have some printed up with a few pics of the baby on them, as it was useful to give or send to people who I didn’t know very well like my parents’ neighbours, ILs neighbours etc, who were very generous.

ddl1 · 18/08/2021 14:47

It is rude not to thank people for presents. I don't think it needs to be by card, though.

Nowisthemonthofmaying · 18/08/2021 14:47

I think you should send some sort of thank you but it doesn't have to be a card! I could barely walk after my baby arrived let alone write cards and take them to be posted, so I just sent texts.

linerforlife · 18/08/2021 14:47

We did a baby announcement card with a line like "thank you for all the good wishes and gifts" because we got so many I couldn't reply to everyone who sent a card with a personal note. I obviously thanked people by text first, and then we sent all the cards out later on.

Original poster

Itsbeen84yearss · 18/08/2021 14:50

I just think when you have a shower, you’re asking people to give. It’s a gift giving ceremony isn’t it? It’s not like a wedding. You’re literally only going to give your gift. This particular shower there wasn’t even food laid on. It was a sit down and fairly expensive meal. If the girl can organise that why not a thank you card?

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Blossomtoes · 18/08/2021 14:50

@ddl1

It is rude not to thank people for presents. I don't think it needs to be by card, though.

I agree. I don’t mind how I’m thanked for a gift but if someone doesn’t bother I never give them another one.

GemmaRuby · 18/08/2021 14:50

I sent thank you cards to everyone that sent presents/money to my baby. I got them on Etsy, picture of baby and name, date of birth etc.

I wouldn’t usually send a thank you card for my own birthday or baby’s future birthdays, it was more of a keepsake/ birth announcement as well as a thank you card.

Pissinthepottyplease · 18/08/2021 14:50

I was flamed on here by one poster for saying I only sent thank you texts rather than cards after spending 10 days in hospital after an emcs with complications and spesis and then had a baby with undiagnosed allergies who was sick all the time.

I give gifts for people to enjoy not as something to beholden them to. With a new baby life is often very difficult. I would much prefer my family and friends spent time ending their baby or catching a couple more minutes sleep than wrote me a thank you card.

rookiemere · 18/08/2021 14:51

I sent them because i knew people would judge me if I didn't. I'd ordered newborn photos that could be made into cards and it was ridiculously faffy and complicated for someone as sleep deprived as me .

If you don't receive a thank you note, do be kind. New motherhood is hard, actually should say new parenthood but when has a male ever been judged for not sending a thank you note ?

Sprogonthetyne · 18/08/2021 14:53

If the person is there giving the gift I'd open it then and thank them at the time, if the posted it I'd probably send a photo of baby wearing the outfit (or whatever) with a thank you message. Cards are lovely, but life with a newborn is exhausted so I'd rather send a message immediately then risk realising it's been a month and I still need to go buy stamps.

llmk · 18/08/2021 14:54

I wouldn't have a baby shower, but I don't think it's necessary to send a thank you card to someone you have said thank you to.

Fernando072020 · 18/08/2021 14:54

Never had a baby shower - dislike them.

But we sent thank you cards to everyone who got DS a present after his birth last year!

Original poster

Itsbeen84yearss · 18/08/2021 14:55

I had sepsis myself and two reflux babies. I’ve spent many years of my life sleep deprived but I’m still perfectly capable of pressing a few buttons on my phone whilst nursing to send some cards out. Plus if you have a shower it’s well before baby’s arrival.

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llmk · 18/08/2021 14:56

@Itsbeen84yearss

I had sepsis myself and two reflux babies. I’ve spent many years of my life sleep deprived but I’m still perfectly capable of pressing a few buttons on my phone whilst nursing to send some cards out. Plus if you have a shower it’s well before baby’s arrival.

I'm capable too, I still wouldn't do it if I had thanked someone in person 🤷‍♀️

GotTheDisneyBlues · 18/08/2021 14:59

@Itsbeen84yearss

I had sepsis myself and two reflux babies. I’ve spent many years of my life sleep deprived but I’m still perfectly capable of pressing a few buttons on my phone whilst nursing to send some cards out. Plus if you have a shower it’s well before baby’s arrival.

Well done you 👍🏻

You seem to be in the minority though 🤷🏼‍♀️ If you're not happy that you've not received a card from someone, just be sure not sure to send anything else in future.

My baby shower was a surprise, I had zero idea it was happening. So thanked everyone who came and for the specific gift they brought, if they brought something, and that felt enough. I didn't even send a card to the people that organised the shower, just thanked them while I was there and sent another message via text that evening.

MacavityTheDentistsCat · 18/08/2021 15:00

I agree with you, OP. I also think it's important that children send thank you cards for Christmas presents, etc. When DD was little, we did simple handprints or suchlike. Now she's older, she writes the letters/cards herself. I consider it good manners and do think that most people appreciate the effort.

Burgerqueenbee · 18/08/2021 15:09

I sent out thank you cards to people who had given/sent gifts as well as thanking in person/via text, but that's my personal preference to, not because I feel everyone should do this.

Although I will admit to have been quite surprised that not everyone sends a message or card after things like christenings especially when there was hand knits as well as purchased gifts.

Original poster

Itsbeen84yearss · 18/08/2021 15:11

I think it’s hard for them not to come over as grabby occasions tbh especially if you’ve organised them yourself

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Original poster

Itsbeen84yearss · 18/08/2021 15:13

That’s nice. I admit I’ve only managed to get mine to sit down and do this a couple of times but I have rang the person up to thank them if I’ve not managed the card

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Original poster

Itsbeen84yearss · 18/08/2021 15:13

Sorry forgot to press quote there!

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mutedrainbows · 18/08/2021 15:14

I always do thank you cards and did so with my baby's gifts. But if someone thanked me by phone or text, I would be okay with that too. What winds me up is sending a gift and never hearing anything so you don't even know if it was received 😒