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Original poster

Send thank you cards for baby gifts?

160 replies

Itsbeen84yearss · 18/08/2021 14:30

Is it me or is it bad form not to send thank you cards if you’ve invited people to a baby shower or even any following baby’s birth? I didn’t do a shower when I was pregnant but I still sent out cards for gifts people had been generous enough to give. Just wondering if I’m being OTT.

OP posts:
flowerbus · 18/08/2021 16:39

I wouldn’t, I’d say thank you over text or in person but to send a card seems like a waste to me

Hankunamatata · 18/08/2021 16:41

My thank you cards went out a few months after birth. I wasnt organised Blush

Waspsarearseholes · 18/08/2021 16:47

Yep, always send thank you cards. The person they're being sent to would've spent longer picking out and sending a gift than it takes to write a quick thank you to them. It's really poor manners to not acknowledge a gift. I do think that it's becoming more common to sent a digital message now though rather than a physical card.
We had picture cards made of our baby and used those. We had gifts from people we really weren't expecting them from, and were likely to never even really see, so certainly didn't have phone numbers or emails for, so the cards were a nice way to express thanks. Passed back through the people/family members who passed the gifts on to us.

Flittingaboutagain · 18/08/2021 16:49

I'm writing my thank you cards today. So rude not to!

Original poster
Itsbeen84yearss · 18/08/2021 16:50

@Waspsarearseholes

Yep, always send thank you cards. The person they're being sent to would've spent longer picking out and sending a gift than it takes to write a quick thank you to them. It's really poor manners to not acknowledge a gift. I do think that it's becoming more common to sent a digital message now though rather than a physical card. We had picture cards made of our baby and used those. We had gifts from people we really weren't expecting them from, and were likely to never even really see, so certainly didn't have phone numbers or emails for, so the cards were a nice way to express thanks. Passed back through the people/family members who passed the gifts on to us.
This is exactly what I did. You tend to get gifts off people you don’t even know because people give to grandparents if they know them rather than you. I think I got more gifts from my mums friends than my own lol so I gave her cards to pass on to them.
OP posts:
notanothertakeaway · 18/08/2021 16:51

[quote mutedrainbows]@rookiemere is right though, I'm always the one sending thank you cards while the thought wouldn't even cross my DH's mind 🙄 another layer on the invisible load of motherhood. [/quote]
Another approach would be to acknowledge that you and your DH have different views about this, and your approach isn't the only way

My family like thank you cards, so I try to send to them. My DH thinks they're pointless, so he doesn't bother sending to his family

Twinkie01 · 18/08/2021 16:54

I'm happy with a text or WhatsApp message, new mums have enough on their plate without finding time to sit down and write thank you cards and then spend time and money posting them.

doadeer · 18/08/2021 16:55

I sent thank you cards to everyone, I designed the card myself... Not sure why I did this with a 7 day old baby.

Most people don't seem to though

doadeer · 18/08/2021 17:00

I got gifts from people like my grandma's friend, they don't have mobiles and I wouldn't feel comfortable calling them, I wrote nice cards with a picture of my baby I did on vista print and a little message about him. I think we did over 60 cards it took ages but people are very generous

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 18/08/2021 17:00

Baby showers are very grabby and designed for gifts to be given, I always turn down invites to one for that reason.
I think many don’t bother with thank you cards but expect gifts.

Original poster
Itsbeen84yearss · 18/08/2021 17:57

@doadeer

I got gifts from people like my grandma's friend, they don't have mobiles and I wouldn't feel comfortable calling them, I wrote nice cards with a picture of my baby I did on vista print and a little message about him. I think we did over 60 cards it took ages but people are very generous
Yes. I found that. I think we had more gifts from elderly people when I had a baby than when we got married.
OP posts:
girlmom21 · 18/08/2021 19:15

The baby is turning one soon. I only got thinking about it as she’s invited us to a first birthday which is yet another sit down meal and gift expectation. I won’t be going

Why won't you be going? It's not a gift expectation - maybe they just enjoy your company. Not really sure why at this moment in time... just cut ties if you don't like them.

Original poster
Itsbeen84yearss · 18/08/2021 20:00

@girlmom21

The baby is turning one soon. I only got thinking about it as she’s invited us to a first birthday which is yet another sit down meal and gift expectation. I won’t be going

Why won't you be going? It's not a gift expectation - maybe they just enjoy your company. Not really sure why at this moment in time... just cut ties if you don't like them.

I’m sure if she was that bothered about my company she’d have sent at least a card when I had my own baby especially when myself and four other members of my family gifted her for her shower.
OP posts:
cultkid · 19/08/2021 21:06

If any of you are planning on buying me a gift any of you
Sorry you won't get a card

Because I didn't ask for these things

seriously I always say thank you by call or text and a photo of the item but I don't send cards

Wheresmrpenguin · 19/08/2021 21:20

I'd find it pretty wierd to recieve one nevermind send one. A txt is more than enough.

ChikiTIKI · 19/08/2021 21:25

I sent cards out for my first. Thanks to my raging ptsd from the birth I had lots of adrenaline to put in to things like that.

Second child was right at start of lockdown so no visitors at all and one or two gifts from very close family for which I video called them to say thankyou.

It's nice to send cards but I wouldn't expect it of someone else. Not when they've just given birth!

GreyhoundG1rl · 19/08/2021 21:28

@Wheresmrpenguin

I'd find it pretty wierd to recieve one nevermind send one. A txt is more than enough.
Would you really? What's so bizarre about a thank you card??
StrangeToSee · 19/08/2021 21:31

I didn’t have a shower, but thanked people who sent gifts by text (or face to face if they visited).

Trying to write lots of thank you cards with a newborn must be awful. Especially if baby won’t settle or has colic/reflux!

BookFiend4Life · 19/08/2021 21:32

I send cards but I hate it so much. I would rather never get another present than have to send a card

Wheresmrpenguin · 20/08/2021 14:29

Just seems like a pointless formality, a waste of money and postage, I don't see the point when I'd then have to make the effort to txt them anyway to say I'd recieved the post card. I feel the same about similar wedding 'traditions'. Plus I'd feel obliged to keep it as part of my clutter, id prefer a txt.

Blossomtoes · 20/08/2021 14:31

@BookFiend4Life

I send cards but I hate it so much. I would rather never get another present than have to send a card
What complete nonsense. It takes two minutes to write and post a card. It’s unbelievable how lazy people have got.
grapewine · 20/08/2021 14:36

@ddl1

It is rude not to thank people for presents. I don't think it needs to be by card, though.
Agree. The tradition with sending cards isn't one we use where I am, not even for birthdays and Christmas anymore. We text or call.
grapewine · 20/08/2021 14:37

And postage costs are extortionate here.

GreyhoundG1rl · 20/08/2021 14:38

@Wheresmrpenguin

Just seems like a pointless formality, a waste of money and postage, I don't see the point when I'd then have to make the effort to txt them anyway to say I'd recieved the post card. I feel the same about similar wedding 'traditions'. Plus I'd feel obliged to keep it as part of my clutter, id prefer a txt.
You could argue that presents themselves are a waste of money and postage, really... A thank you card is far less effort and expense than the gift that preceded it.
Skysblue · 20/08/2021 14:52

I hate thank you cards. As a child I was forced to write many many, often to people I’d never met.

I don’t do them and I don’t ask my child to do them. I do say thank you - in person and often by text message too - but I refuse to be held to a tradition I dislike.

If YOU like thank you card tradition that doesn’t mean everyone else has to.