AIBU to ask if your partner helps you..?

[Supermum29]

Just that really.

If you have a partner that you live with do you equally share jobs around the house, with kids or pets?

I’ve just taken the food shop delivery and I got up this morning to take the dog out. It’s nearly 11am and my partner is still upstairs in bed. This is an almost daily occurrence despite my many plea’s for help…. Now I’m wondering if my expectations are just u reasonable…. So enlighten me, do you do most/all of the work or do you share the load as equally as work/commitments allow?

We share household chores. In reality we do split tasks into the stuff I actually quite like doing, the stuff I can tolerate doing and other stuff which he does . I do the cooking, most the shopping, the washing, cat stuff, look after my car, my own ironing (he does his), daily bathroom wipe downs and bleach, bedding changing. He vacuums at the weekend, his various vehicles (don't ask) works 2x as many hours (relevant!) his ironing and does scrub the shower screen. The kids (over 18) supposedly do their bathroom, their rooms and own washing but I'm not convinced, have booked the fumigators aka local cleaning firm for October after they leave back for university

We most definitely share the household work. But on my first day off after a run of five I do lie in and have a late breakfast. I also take time off other times to go out and exercise or just have time alone. It’s not a 24/7 slog. IF you share the load.
You need to sit down together and talk about the week and when each of you gets “time off”. If he’s not open to that conversation then it’s time to leave.

We share jobs equally, he doesnt "help" me, they are his jobs too.

We all do, in my opinion a fair share around the house. He picks up what I don’t do and vice versa. I do more childcare because he has the opportunity in his trade to work longer and for more money. Some days I do more, and he rests, sometimes I rest and he does more.

I agree with other posters it's not 'helping' it's his house too.

Mine does gardening, bins, walks the dogs, picks poo upand cooking.

I do laundry, washing up general tidying etc.

We both do baby care, DH does bathtime depending on his shifts and gets up earlyish (8/9am) on his days off so i can go back to bed.

I'm currently a SAHM and he works so we do switch around when needed to.

He’s been helping more recently but this is only after months, if not years of complaint from me. He generally only does jobs I ask him to do, it’s rare he sees a job and just thinks to do it off his own back. I often have to ask him to do a job more than once too, sometimes just end up doing it myself because he’s left it for so long. I asked him to tidy the dining room last night while I put our 2 year old to bed. Came down and he hadn’t done it so had to prompt him again. He did it but when I went to use the highchair this morning it was still coated in food. He’d wiped it a bit but it still had a layer of orange right across it. Sometimes he decides to do random jobs around the house at inconvenient times and just makes a huge mess while he does it, that enrages me.