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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DS is completely stuffed

472 replies

logincard · 18/08/2021 06:54

my DS has 5 grade 7s and 4 6's at GCSE.

he missed out on acceptance to his grammar school for A level ( by one point) and we now have no place for him to study A levels.

He had a conditional offer from another school. He has the grades, but I found out yesterday that he never actually accepted this offer ….

I have contacted every state and private school in the borough and close by and no one has a space, we have appealed a grade at his grammar school. (But I hold out little hope for that)

What can we do? He has. No space for A levels . And no one has to help us, he’s just on his own ….

OP posts:
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6
Comefromaway · 18/08/2021 14:45

Apart from a few performing & creative arts ones they are being replaced with T levels and there is to be no cross-over with A level subjects.

mushroom3 · 18/08/2021 14:47

OP your son has got good GCSE grades. These are better than my DD got and she is about to start at a RG university (worked more for A levels) . There shouldn't be an issue to do A levels with grade 6/7 at A level. Can he appeal Tiffin? You say he is appealing one of the GCSE grades, if his grade moves up would he stay there? I would look at travel time to colleges rather than distance. With those grades and not working for his GCSEs he is capable of doing A levels and going to a good university.

mushroom3 · 18/08/2021 14:48

You don't say which GCSEs he got which grade in, For sciences/maths I would suggest he would need a grade 7 in those to do A level.

wantmorenow · 18/08/2021 14:51

Some BTECs are being replaced by T (technicals) as only the latter will be getting the funding. Being rolled out and trialled already in some colleges. They will have a built in work experience component which must be completed to have qual awarded. Like an apprenticeship but in reverse. More study and smaller placement.

Some good points to them but a lot more rejigging for teachers again, having to replan and relearn new syllabi, also from my experience we couldn't find any employers who could offer meaningful placements for science quals. Surprisingly employers refused to have under 18s doing weekly placements carrying out regulated scientific activities in their labs due to health and safety and regulatory bodies requirements. A complete non starter for my subject whereas btecs were and are fab.

Management still cheerleading them though as what do staff leading the subjects know. 🤣

thing47 · 18/08/2021 14:52

OP just a quick query if you're still there. Did your DS not get the overall points score he needed, or did he not get the points score he needed to go on with the subjects he wanted?

If the latter, maybe Tiffin would be open to persuasion? Perhaps subject to a retake? We had this with DC (also at a grammar school) who got sufficient overall points for acceptance into the 6th Form but only a B in one of the subjects he wanted to do for A level. We had a couple of meetings with school and he managed to persuade them that he would work much harder in 6th Form…

Comefromaway · 18/08/2021 14:54

It's tragic wantmore

A friend of ds is doing a Science Btec. He got great grades at GCSE but the Btec style of learning engages him much more than A levels would.

Comefromaway · 18/08/2021 14:55

I think some posters are under-estimating the insane competition for places at Tiffin and just how selective a school it is.

DonegalGhirl · 18/08/2021 14:57

Sorry no advice to offer but hope your son gets offered a place at a good school soon.

On a side note, the English admissions system is so much more complicated than here in Scotland. Our kids are guaranteed a place at their catchment school & they stay at the same secondary school to sit Nat 5, Higher and/or Advanced Higher exams until they leave at the end of their 6th year (unless they opt to leave earlier at end of 4th or 5th year).

londonmummy1966 · 18/08/2021 14:57

I think you've had a really rough time on here and it is a really poor shown on Tiffin that they are rejecting someone with a good mix of As and Bs (in old money). I have sent you a PM with a suggestion of somewhere else you might look which my skim through the thread indicated hadn't come up and might be worth a shot.

mushroom3 · 18/08/2021 14:59

Could he talk to Tiffin about starting A levels and doing the Autumn exams in a couple of his 6s to try and improve them? Some boards are faster in deciding appeals, if it's Edexcel they are usually pretty fast.

shallIswim · 18/08/2021 15:06

Look Tiffin don't want him, and by the sounds of it he doesn't want Tiffin! OPs son will be fine at Richmond College and may even thrive in the more relaxed atmosphere. Clearly Tiffin's hothouse didn't suit.
@logincard he'll be fine!

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 18/08/2021 15:07

@Harlechh

Hope this is now sorted for you OP. I must say that this new idea of dealing only with the kid and not the parents is absolutely stupid. It didn't happen with my eldest but did happen with my youngest. With eldest the parents and pupils both received the emails. With youngest just the pupil did. There's some weird fiction that 16 year olds are running their own lives at this point... errrm, not really!

Similarly my 16 year old DD recently missed a hospital appointment because all the correspondence had gone to her not me... yes she is on the way to adulthood but she's not there yet.

Good luck OP and DS and ignore all the know-it-alls.

Digressing from the main point, I completely agree with you, @Harlechh - it is similar to the ridiculous way on MN that when a child turns 18 they are immediately adults from one day to the next, and their parents are no longer responsible for them or there to help and support them, but they should stand on their own two feet. To my mind, this shows a distinct lack of understanding of the teenage brain and its development. Anyway, congratulations on your son's results, @logincard, and I do hope he gets into Richmond College and succeeds both academically and socially, and is happy!
SoTiredNeedHoliday · 18/08/2021 15:46

@logincard What have you decided to do. This must be so stressful for you and your DS

Xenia · 18/08/2021 16:05

If he really cannot get in any of those places there are only 2 options left- boarding school and education at home. Either might work fine for him.

Unicorn34 · 18/08/2021 16:09

I'm sorry but I've not had time to read through all the replies - have you tried Brooklands College in Weybridge?

shallIswim · 18/08/2021 16:16

Hey everyone OP says her son has applied for Richmond College, a suggestion made by a couple
Of posters. I reckon he'll be ok

Frazzled2207 · 18/08/2021 16:27

sorry you've had such a stress OP. It looks like you have a back up plan now and there is a good chance a space will come up at the preferred school in the next fortnight.
If he'd said five times that he'd accepted it and in fact he hadn't, I'd be bloody furious tbh. And if it didn't work out then he'd have to do some kind of apprenticeship or something for a year before trying again next year.

Cyberattack · 18/08/2021 16:35

I have PM'd you

Petronius16 · 18/08/2021 16:42

Your son is not stuffed. Failed most of my O levels at school, finished up as a University lecturer.

Cyberattack · 18/08/2021 16:45

@NerrSnerr

*I get the feeling that the OP wants her DS to go to a particular type of college/6th form to study certain subjects (and only those subjects) at A-level and there is no flexibility.

The fact that his current school has told him he does not have a place - missing only one mark is also odd. Is there a reason why they too aren’t showing a degree of flexibility?*

This is what I was wondering. Is there a reason his current school doesn't want him?

OP says her son was at Tiffin Boys. That is a super-super competitive grammar school. There is no way they will keep him if he is even one point off - that is what it is like in SW London.
BoffinMum · 18/08/2021 16:45

Ring the local authority and remind them they are obliged to find him a place or pay for him to be home tutored or go private if there aren't any. You would be surprised what they managed to pull out of the bag.

Hemingwaycat · 18/08/2021 16:48

I teach in a college and I’ve never personally heard of a college not doing A-levels. What do they do if they don’t provide level 3 education? I think you need to phone all colleges he can get to which shouldn’t be difficult somewhere as large as London, hardly like you live in the sticks…

Failing that he’ll have to take a gap year as many students do.

SpindleWhorl · 18/08/2021 16:50

He's applied to Richmond. It does do the right A levels and the OP was in a tizz when she said it didn't.

It's solved.

No battles with the council or boarding schools necessary.

ThanksItHasPockets · 18/08/2021 16:52

You teach in a college and you don’t know that there are level 3 courses that aren’t A levels?

mariominder · 18/08/2021 17:21

I am sorry that some people have been having a go at you over this. I know from experience how desperately upsetting these things are, and just wanted to say that my own DS, after a very chequered school career with all sorts of digressions, eventually went on via an Access to HE course to an excellent BA followed by a Masters. Some are just not quite ready at 16/17. As my mother used to say, you can take a horse to the water but you can't make it drink. It will, in the end. Best wishes in any case for his next steps.