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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DS is completely stuffed

472 replies

logincard · 18/08/2021 06:54

my DS has 5 grade 7s and 4 6's at GCSE.

he missed out on acceptance to his grammar school for A level ( by one point) and we now have no place for him to study A levels.

He had a conditional offer from another school. He has the grades, but I found out yesterday that he never actually accepted this offer ….

I have contacted every state and private school in the borough and close by and no one has a space, we have appealed a grade at his grammar school. (But I hold out little hope for that)

What can we do? He has. No space for A levels . And no one has to help us, he’s just on his own ….

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
habituallydistracted · 18/08/2021 11:15

[quote habituallydistracted]@logincard your son's grades tot up to 59 points, which is 5 more than the minimum 54 needed for Tiffin Sixth Form (see snapshot from policy). Is there more to it than that? E.g. did he miss the grade 7 in the three subjects he wants to study? If so, could he study something else?[/quote]
Bear in mind that, so long as he is still registered at Tiffin they can't kick him out if he meets the minimum requirements for the sixth form.

girlmom21 · 18/08/2021 11:16

We have applied for Richmond college. It seems likely he will be offered that which takes the pressure off. Thank you to those that pointed the A level option out. Probably because I'm in such a state I just couldn't see it.

Fingers crossed he gets accepted OP Smile

catndogslife · 18/08/2021 11:16

Hope it works out well for your son OP.
I think the school where he took his GCSEs has not performed very well in terms of pastoral care and support.
When dd picked up her GCSE results, the school had a list of pupils who hadn't met their sixth form offers and offered practical help on results day to help them find alternatives.
I assumed that most schools did this, but looks as if that is not the case.

2021V2 · 18/08/2021 11:21

I’d email Tiffin direct and point out his grades and his extra curricula etc and ask if you can go in and talk to admissions 👌even if they are full ask and apply with a covering letter. It seems really really odd though. I’d be happy to help with any appeal. What’s his attendance and behaviour points like?

I’m not trying to put you down but when I relocated daughter applied to a local outstanding school (she was at a selective all girls grammar) and it was full but the head phoned and said your application will be rejected as it is full but appeal it immediately and we have arranged to meet x5 days later next week to consider it and I can’t promise anything but I can’t see any reason why she wouldn’t get in given the circumstances - I had a tense few days but I later found out her old head had written a supporting letter - and we wrote supportive letters and then she was in!

Bramshott · 18/08/2021 11:21

Great to see your latest update OP.

FE Colleges are great (or can be) - a real step between school and university which offer the opportunity to take more personal responsibility for learning. Much better to take those steps now, whilst still living at home, than get thrown in at the deep end at uni!

MadameMinimes · 18/08/2021 11:21

Really pleased that you got something lined up OP. If he gets an offer from the college then it takes the pressure off and you can wait for the other schools to get back to you, knowing that he has a college place regardless of what they say. I think the chances of a school Sixth Form place coming up is pretty good, but it’s good to have a back-up in place. It’s not likely to be the grammar, but other places will find space for someone with a solid clutch of 6s and 7s. We would.

Original poster
logincard · 18/08/2021 11:26

[quote NerrSnerr]@hoxtonbabe BTECs are not being frowned upon. If you read the thread one person laughed at the suggestion of BTEC because of the OP's views about colleges- she is clearly not going to want her son to do a BTEC because of her own snobbery. [/quote]
this is just so very much not true. My older son has just competed a BTech at an FE college. Kids are different. This one has different aspirations (or said he did)

OP posts:
LindaEllen · 18/08/2021 11:28

@YouJustDoYou

Aren't you supposed to still be in education/training until 18?

No. 16 in the UK.

It's 18. It's changed so you have to be in some kind of education - but an apprenticeship counts.
TeenMinusTests · 18/08/2021 11:32

So glad to see the update.

PrentonPark · 18/08/2021 11:35

Good news @logincard 😊

It's such a weird age when they aren't yet adults but are given chunks of responsibility.

I really feel for you and glad you've got a plan now.

Original poster
logincard · 18/08/2021 11:35

@Hdhdjejdj

Yes but if the dc struggles at a private school with every conceivable resource available to them, they may struggle at A level there too. That would be my worry.
Tiffin is not private. Its a state grammar. He didn't struggle academically, he struggled with his attitude. He didn't work hard enough and expected to sail though., he also wanted to go to the state school 6th form and thought he would get the grades for that ( he did) he just wasn't focussed enough to accept the place.. For those who ask if he really wants to do A levels ? I have asked and asked, I have offered all kinds of other options. His two older brothers did not go down the A level route so its not that I expect it ... he says he wants to. I'm so emotionally done with this, I have tried my very best to tread the line between pushing and supporting and letting them be, I'm a single parent and I have a full time job. Kicking me when I'm at my lowest point its actually really unkind. I'm sure I have made mistakes, and my hat is off to those of you who have not ... but i have tried so very hard and like most patents all I want is for my children to achieve the best they can and be happy
OP posts:
hoxtonbabe · 18/08/2021 11:35

@NerrSnerr @SunShinesBrightly

My post It wasn’t to respond to the poster that laughed. I knew exactly what they meant ( and I fully agree!) it was more me putting it out there that there’s nothing wrong with Btec as the end result depending on what you study can be exactly the same as someone who went to Tiffins or some other high profile sixth form Smile

rose69 · 18/08/2021 11:36

For those in a similar situation or looking for next year St Francis Xavier is very good.

Hdhdjejdj · 18/08/2021 11:38

@logincard I said earlier I hadn’t realised it was not a private school. I’m not in London or in a grammar area so just assumed (wrongly) selective meant private.

PrentonPark · 18/08/2021 11:39

@logincard sorry this thread has upset you - I totally agree with how draining this all is as a parent.

I've been there with the A-Level thing - double checking it's what they wanted etc., you can only go on what they say to you.

I hope the rest of your day is more relaxing.

Wannakisstheteacher · 18/08/2021 11:39

I think you’ve had some really harsh comments OP. He’s 16 not 6. Yes, you could have pushed the button for him, but it sounds like you literally did everything bar that.

I hope Richmond College works out.

clary · 18/08/2021 11:41

[quote habituallydistracted]@logincard your son's grades tot up to 59 points, which is 5 more than the minimum 54 needed for Tiffin Sixth Form (see snapshot from policy). Is there more to it than that? E.g. did he miss the grade 7 in the three subjects he wants to study? If so, could he study something else?[/quote]
It needs to be over 8 GCSEs tho which in the Op's case adds up to 53, as a number of posters have pointed out.

ChristopherTracy · 18/08/2021 11:42

Glad it has worked out OP - good luck to your DS!

clary · 18/08/2021 11:43

Meant to say best of luck to OP and her DC for a good outcome at Richmond

SusannahSophia · 18/08/2021 11:43

[quote habituallydistracted]@logincard your son's grades tot up to 59 points, which is 5 more than the minimum 54 needed for Tiffin Sixth Form (see snapshot from policy). Is there more to it than that? E.g. did he miss the grade 7 in the three subjects he wants to study? If so, could he study something else?[/quote]
It’s the points from your best 8, @habituallydistracted, so 5x7 plus 3x6 which is 53. I work in a state grammar and they have a similar system, but 57 is their cut off and they are rigid about it.

Pleased to hear Richmond is a goer, OP, and keep him on the waiting list for his preferred school. You often get quite a bit of movement come September.

shallIswim · 18/08/2021 11:45

@logincard sounds like if he's able and it's his attitude that's at fault, he'll have had a good mental slapping abandon willl sort himself out.
Good luck!

igelkott2021 · 18/08/2021 11:46

I’m not in London or in a grammar area so just assumed (wrongly) selective meant private

not all selective schools are private

not all private schools are selective

Glad to see your update OP and I hope your son gets into Richmond College, gets fantastic grades and lets his old school know in two years' time!

shallIswim · 18/08/2021 11:47

[quote shallIswim]@logincard sounds like if he's able and it's his attitude that's at fault, he'll have had a good mental slapping abandon willl sort himself out.
Good luck![/quote]
Not abandon! Meant to say and will sort himself out!

LIZS · 18/08/2021 11:47

And not "grammar" schools are state funded.

LIZS · 18/08/2021 11:48

Not all "grammar" schools are state-funded.