To think my DS is completely stuffed

[logincard]

my DS has 5 grade 7s and 4 6's at GCSE.

he missed out on acceptance to his grammar school for A level ( by one point) and we now have no place for him to study A levels.

He had a conditional offer from another school. He has the grades, but I found out yesterday that he never actually accepted this offer ….

I have contacted every state and private school in the borough and close by and no one has a space, we have appealed a grade at his grammar school. (But I hold out little hope for that)

What can we do? He has. No space for A levels . And no one has to help us, he’s just on his own ….

@igelkott2021

*my sister an eminent heart surgeon called the rac out 14 times in one year"

I know this is off-topic, but the AA had a fair use policy which means you can only call them out 5 times a year. The RAC is very generous (or charged her a lot extra!)

As for applications to sixth forms, ds applied to two, and in both cases a parent (me for one, his dad for the other) was copied into all email communications.

Sorry to derail - At the time and it was a fair few years ago she was actually added on to my parents rac and they got charged and told they are gone over this limit having never called them out in 10 years my parents were furious but at the time my sister was too tight to buy her own and it led to all kinds of family issues when they found out and then she kept doing it - and they got charged we are talking 20 years ago- they removed her from the policy but it did mean that when it came to me I got nothing as never again would they add a child’s car to their policy. She didn’t learn and still doesn’t her poor DH also a consultant actually works part time to ‘organise her life’ as he puts it. They have a daily, cleaner, x2 gardener because she can’t or won’t pull her weight around the house or with life. Emptying a bin is probably seen as beneath her! I’m sure that’s not the OP son but although he needs to be cut some slack due to the current situation we are all in, he also needs to learn mum isn’t always going to be around to empty the bin or do his admin!

Tough for the original poster though, so parents will do everything for third kids even down to pushing the buttons and others won’t it is a spectrum

Hi OP I have no practical advice for this situation as I don’t know London and don’t live in England
But I just wanted to say you are doing a great job - supporting and monitoring and allowing him to make his choices independently while keeping a watching brief on the associated admin.
These things happen with a DD or DS who isn’t great at the admin - you clearly did more than what people would reasonably assume is enough and I’m sorry it’s turned out like this and been so stressful

Anyway the point of my post - my DD was the same - a nightmare with admin. By the time we got into A levels and to UCAS / third level applications, deadlines, interviews etc I was stressed. Her important time bound emails were getting mixed up and missed within the 100’s of irrelevant nonsense emails teens receive these days.

So we set up a new outlook email account in her name strictly for UCAS/ education/ accommodation emails only - but we also put it on my phone as well as hers so I could more easily keep a watching brief

She’s a lot better now after a year of living away but that helped and maybe when your DS gets sorted into his A levels you could do that. Well done to him on his great results amd best wishes for the rest of his studies

@logincard I really feel for you, some of these replies have been quite unpleasant. Please don’t let anyone make you think you are to blame. MN has this strange ideology that once your child is 16 or 18 they must be fully independent and manage their lives by themselves.

I hope the college option works out.

The whole process sucks. I disagree with schools insisting on grades for A level. Selective schools pick kids at 11, that should be enough to see them through to 18 even if they didn’t perform to the best of their ability at 16. And comprehensives should mean just that - caters for all. They should not be creaming off the top for their results tables.

And it’s really shitty for kids to find out with 2 weeks left till term starts that not only that they ‘didn’t make the grades’ but they have to leave their school where they have friends and start anew somewhere else. Very poor show from schools. Where’s the pastoral care??

I disagree with schools insisting on grades for A level.

The thing is, if a student doesn't attain a certain level at age 16, it is unlikely that they will get anything meaningful out of A level. I am not talking about the OP's DS, who is clearly bright and has done well - just not quite well enough for sixth form at his very high achieving selective school. But even at a regular comp, there is a need for some sort of guidance. My DS1 gained Cs, Ds and Es and would have got nowhere with A levels, the structure and work involved would not have suited him at all.

@Comefromaway You would be reliant on your child putting your email address down. My son filled in the application form online, all resulting correspondence went to him. as I said you can put uncle Jim’s email down if you want, the email with still comes back with dear “16 year old child” . Many parents stick their own down so they can be sure things are done properly. Do you really think schools have a list of ownership of email address?

[quote bendmeoverbackwards]@logincard I really feel for you, some of these replies have been quite unpleasant. Please don’t let anyone make you think you are to blame. MN has this strange ideology that once your child is 16 or 18 they must be fully independent and manage their lives by themselves.

I hope the college option works out.

The whole process sucks. I disagree with schools insisting on grades for A level. Selective schools pick kids at 11, that should be enough to see them through to 18 even if they didn’t perform to the best of their ability at 16. And comprehensives should mean just that - caters for all. They should not be creaming off the top for their results tables.[/quote]
Kids will really struggle at A level if they were "mediocre" at GCSE though.

They're hardly likely to fly in A Level Physics if they only got a middling GCSE grade as they'll be starting the A level course without adequate knowledge of the basics they'd be building on.

Ds filled in the form on his ipad whilst he was at school. I wasn't even there. I guess I could have filled in the form for him but I would have risked a double application then.

@clary

I disagree with schools insisting on grades for A level.

The thing is, if a student doesn't attain a certain level at age 16, it is unlikely that they will get anything meaningful out of A level. I am not talking about the OP's DS, who is clearly bright and has done well - just not quite well enough for sixth form at his very high achieving selective school. But even at a regular comp, there is a need for some sort of guidance. My DS1 gained Cs, Ds and Es and would have got nowhere with A levels, the structure and work involved would not have suited him at all.

So with your ds, there's quite a big gap between required grades and the grades he took.

What about kids who have narrowly missed out by a grade or two? Everyone has off days in exams. Why should it be dependent on a 2 hour exam??

@user1497207191 you're extrapolating quite a lot. The OP's ds is clearly bright and has achieved brilliant grades. Schools should apply a more holistic approach when deciding who is 'suitable' for A Level study and who isn't.

@clary

I disagree with schools insisting on grades for A level.

The thing is, if a student doesn't attain a certain level at age 16, it is unlikely that they will get anything meaningful out of A level. I am not talking about the OP's DS, who is clearly bright and has done well - just not quite well enough for sixth form at his very high achieving selective school. But even at a regular comp, there is a need for some sort of guidance. My DS1 gained Cs, Ds and Es and would have got nowhere with A levels, the structure and work involved would not have suited him at all.

Even at DC's very big standard comp the advice with maths, chemistry and physics was if you don't have at least an A (preferably A*) at gcse you'll struggle. While students weren't banned from trying the resulting A level grades told the story! I think arts subjects have slightly more flex. I had an artsy one and mathsy one so could see how it worked

@bendmeoverbackwards schools do have some discretion tho - mate of DS2's got a 5 in an A level choice but was still allowed to take it.

I take it you would be OK with my DS1 not being allowed to do A levels with those grades? So you don't totally disagree with schools insisting on specific grades for A level?

OP you have my sympathies. These are very good grades and normal schools and colleges would be happy to have them, I'm sure. I can completely understand your DS not submitting his acceptance for the back-up school. My own DS had to use some complicated system that they set up at school, and parents were very much kept in the dark and had no way of knowing if things updated or required action. I think all you can do is badger your local authority on a daily basis to see if places have become available for the chosen subjects anywhere - or failing that, be prepared for your DS to reconsider his subjects. His second choice school may find at the start of term that they do have some space after all.

Unless you get a 6(B) at GCSE in an arts subject or a 7(A) in maths/science then I agree you will struggle at A level. In those situations other courses are more appropriate.

Ds's school is one of the very few in the area with a 6th form. They will take all of their students who wish to stay on but they offer a mix of A levels, Btecs and Work Preparation programmes the same as the local FE colleges do.

If it’s any consolation, students in England get 3 years free post 16 education, so if he joins one school/college and things don’t work out, he can restart NEXT sept...
OR, he could two years of A level, then retake and improve his grades in year 14...

Yeah you are right that Kingston no longer offer a levels but Richmond do and they offer the courses that he wants. You live in SW London where there are so many options.

Even at DC's very big standard comp the advice with maths, chemistry and physics was if you don't have at least an A (preferably A) at gcse you'll struggle.*

No wonder there's still an apparent shortfall in kids pursuing STEM subjects. All the initiatives seem to be around choices of university course, whereas loads of kids are ruled out at the point of doing GCSEs. Government just wants a quick fix of course and there isn't one.

@ScouseQueen

Even at DC's very big standard comp the advice with maths, chemistry and physics was if you don't have at least an A (preferably A) at gcse you'll struggle.*

No wonder there's still an apparent shortfall in kids pursuing STEM subjects. All the initiatives seem to be around choices of university course, whereas loads of kids are ruled out at the point of doing GCSEs. Government just wants a quick fix of course and there isn't one.

Yes it's infuriating

I have a dd who loves science and that will be it for her after GCSE as the a levels are so ridiculously hard that only thr top set are encouraged to do them

Try a 6th form college, that is high enough for college

Currently there are lots of really good STEM based Btecs for kids who enjoy the subject but for whom a more practical application is more appropriate. You can usually get onto them with GCSE grade 5 and above (some take Grade 4). Many go on to university from these.

Sadly the government have seen fit to abolish these tried and tested, esteemed qualifications.

Good luck op, I hope you manage to sort something. Ignore the people on here saying you should have been sorting out the school not your son.

My DC has just done GCSEs and the school are very reluctant to discuss anything with the parents. It all has to be done through DC which is so infuriating. Mine was told in an email (to him not to me)that he might struggle doing a particular A Level and might want to change. He was puzzled as he loves the subject and got an 8 so he replied that he didn't want to change , was happy etc. When I found out I queried it and the teacher replied that she had got the subject wrong and it was actually one of the others that he might struggle with. The reply from the teacher was basically telling me not to get involved because he was happy with his choices.Now all the courses are full and although he wants to change it's too late.

Have the people who declared OP to be a snob returned to apologise?

The thing is that grammars have got to have entry requirements for sixth form. The whole point of a grammar is that DC are surrounded by ambitious and hardworking peers- that is not the case if you have people who frankly haven’t bothered at GCSE.

Equally it is not fair to external applicants who have put in hours of revision to effectively hand their places to internal students who have done the bare minimum.

I also thing having entry requirements really helps motivate DC who would otherwise coast. DS wouldn’t have got the results he got at GCSE without the motivation of wanting to stay with his friends.

There’s only so much pushing you can do with him op, you’ve done your best to support him x

@Comefromaway do you mean BTECHs are being abolished?

This thread has been really helpful- my DS is still at gcse stage but is unlikely to get the grades (mild SEN) to get into his competitive sixth form. I wasn’t sure yet of his other options aside from A levels, but a BTECH sounds possible.

He’s also in a development academy for the sport he plays, and they offer help to enter sixth forms tied to the sport, at various private schools. Unfortunately i think he would be miserable because he would struggle with the academic side of it.