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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DS is completely stuffed

472 replies

logincard · 18/08/2021 06:54

my DS has 5 grade 7s and 4 6's at GCSE.

he missed out on acceptance to his grammar school for A level ( by one point) and we now have no place for him to study A levels.

He had a conditional offer from another school. He has the grades, but I found out yesterday that he never actually accepted this offer ….

I have contacted every state and private school in the borough and close by and no one has a space, we have appealed a grade at his grammar school. (But I hold out little hope for that)

What can we do? He has. No space for A levels . And no one has to help us, he’s just on his own ….

OP posts:
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6
UserStillatLarge · 18/08/2021 11:03

Schools like Tiffin "sell" themselves on their results.

They are not going to accept a student who has what would be considered very good results in most circles, over a student who has stellar results (all 8s and 9s).

And funnily enough if you only take students with stellar GCSEs, the chance of them getting stellar A Levels is pretty high. So the school keeps its good reputation.

DS's school will accept A Level students with 5s and 6s at GCSE. They don't end up getting A*s in everything at A Level, but they still get a good education.

Monestera · 18/08/2021 11:03

I love the outcome of your story @edwinbear thank you for sharing it.

ThymeafterThyme · 18/08/2021 11:04

God some of you!

MNHQ are always telling us this site exists to make parents' lives easier and you're making digs about the OP and her son.

Our local grammar (which my dd turned down) asks for grade 6 and above for A level subjects as there's lots of time to mature and improve from GCSE to A level.

Hdhdjejdj · 18/08/2021 11:04

Nobody is going to be able to give the OP what she wants, which is a magic bullet to get her dc into the school she wants.

SunShinesBrightly · 18/08/2021 11:04

Hey what’s wrong with btecs? Not sure why it’s being frowned upon. My DS did just fine!

Nothing. People were making the point that if the OP won’t consider A levels in anything other than Science at a Grammar school 6th form she is unlikely to consider BTECs.
She is even ignoring suggestions about studying A levels at FE colleges.

noidea02 · 18/08/2021 11:05

Have you phoned Esher College directly? I live nearly and my son went there. Lots of movement and children still applying and accepted generally into September. They don’t enrol until end of August.

Monestera · 18/08/2021 11:05

Schools like Tiffin "sell" themselves on their results. Yes. I am always suspicious of schools and colleges that promote themselves as 95% 7-9 or whatnot. Makes you wonder what happened to the other kids.

UserStillatLarge · 18/08/2021 11:05

He (and I ) didn't especially want him to stay at Tiffin as the catchment is so wide he has had few local friends. He wanted to go to a local school 6th form.

He wanted to go to a local school sixth form and yet he forgot to send the acceptance email?
I agree with other posters, you need to get to the bottom of what your DC actually wants to do. And it may not be A Levels and it may not be a place of your choosing.

Hdhdjejdj · 18/08/2021 11:06

Yes but if the dc struggles at a private school with every conceivable resource available to them, they may struggle at A level there too. That would be my worry.

Original poster
logincard · 18/08/2021 11:06

Ok. for the last time I did NOT make him responsible for this. I attended the online evening review with him, I filled the application with him, I helped him with his statement. I ensured he was available for the interview. They wanted HIS email address to send the letter offering him a conditional place, I saw that letter and the acceptance button. And yes, at that point I asked him if he had pushed it., I didn't watch him push it. nor push it for him. I wish to god I had.

We have applied for Richmond college. It seems likely he will be offered that which takes the pressure off. Thank you to those that pointed the A level option out. Probably because I'm in such a state I just couldn't see it.

I'm not in the least snobby about state schools; I was state educated and all my kids were state educated and I would be delighted if he had a place at a state 6th form.

to those who have been kind and helpful - thank you so much. Your anonymous support has really helped. , For the perfect amongst you, who seem to enjoy kicking someone when she is down ... really ?

OP posts:
Monestera · 18/08/2021 11:07

God some of you! MNHQ are always telling us this site exists to make parents' lives easier and you're making digs about the OP and her son. Our local grammar (which my dd turned down) asks for grade 6 and above for A level subjects as there's lots of time to mature and improve from GCSE to A level.

That's the help you're offering OP? I'm not sure how that makes her day, let alone her life, any easier.

shallIswim · 18/08/2021 11:07

@Hdhdjejdj

Yes but if the dc struggles at a private school with every conceivable resource available to them, they may struggle at A level there too. That would be my worry.
Tiffin isn't private. It's a state grammar. Highly selective and coached tho.
Hdhdjejdj · 18/08/2021 11:07

Nobody wants to kick you when you are down. You are in a blind panic and I for one was pointing out options.

Bonesy1 · 18/08/2021 11:07

It’s 18 in the UK

SunShinesBrightly · 18/08/2021 11:08

We have applied for Richmond college. It seems likely he will be offered that which takes the pressure off. Thank you to those that pointed the A level option out. Probably because I'm in such a state I just couldn't see it.

Perfect.

ThymeafterThyme · 18/08/2021 11:08

Best of luck to you and your boy, OP 💐

Hdhdjejdj · 18/08/2021 11:08

That’s how much I know about Tiffin! I assumed it was private Grin

ClaryFairchild · 18/08/2021 11:10

Well the silver lining to all of this is that he can't complain when you double check things he does now...!!!

ThymeafterThyme · 18/08/2021 11:10

That's the help you're offering OP? I'm not sure how that makes her day, let alone her life, any easier.

Nope. She's had some good advice on here. I'm pointing out that people don't have to be tossers. Not that it should need pointing out ...

HunkyPunk · 18/08/2021 11:12

I'm glad it looks like there are more options than you thought, op. Hope your ds enjoys 6th Form. Smile

shallIswim · 18/08/2021 11:12

Glad Richmond is sorting him out. I don't live in the area any more but know plenty of young people who did brilliantly there and went on to great and happy things.

UserStillatLarge · 18/08/2021 11:12

Sounds like a great solution OP.

habituallydistracted · 18/08/2021 11:12

@logincard your son's grades tot up to 59 points, which is 5 more than the minimum 54 needed for Tiffin Sixth Form (see snapshot from policy). Is there more to it than that? E.g. did he miss the grade 7 in the three subjects he wants to study? If so, could he study something else?

To think my DS is completely stuffed
Monestera · 18/08/2021 11:13

We have applied for Richmond college. It seems likely he will be offered that which takes the pressure off. Thank you to those that pointed the A level option out. Probably because I'm in such a state I just couldn't see it.

Seems pretty supportive to me.

This sounds like a really good outcome OP, much different to where you were four hours ago. What's your son think about this option?

SunShinesBrightly · 18/08/2021 11:14

@Hdhdjejdj

Yes but if the dc struggles at a private school with every conceivable resource available to them, they may struggle at A level there too. That would be my worry.
I agree with this. Same applies to state Grammar schools.