Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think liking pictures of half naked/bikini models is cheating?

154 replies

crazymicrowave123 · 16/08/2021 14:27

Or at least shady behaviour? My sister is in a newish relationship of about 6 months and they briefly split due to trust issues and she finds it hard to stand up for herself. I don't want to say anything if it isn't that big a deal, but its almost every bikini model or half naked influencer's pictures that he likes and type of people he follows. And it leaves a bad taste in my mouth because the last thing I want is the person I care about to get hurt. She doesn't know he does this as she doesn't have social media but I follow him on Instagram and I don't really want to get involved. WWYD? Or is it harmless?

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 16/08/2021 19:10

@Travis1

Says ‘girlmom’ ok then 🙄
I'm a mom of two girls... not incredibly creative - granted.

But I'm not a grown woman who uses the word 'hawt' so... 🤷‍♀️

Travis1 · 16/08/2021 19:12

😂😂 ok love

paepoyrol · 16/08/2021 19:15

WTF?! Am I a lesbian and I don’t know it then? And I’m cheating on my husband by following lots of realllllllyyyyyy fucking stunning women, liking their pictures and posting comments telling them they are fucking hawt?!? Dear lord

😆😆 I don't think this post conveys what you think it does!

StarDrawers · 16/08/2021 19:16

@Travis1

WTF?! Am I a lesbian and I don’t know it then? And I’m cheating on my husband by following lots of realllllllyyyyyy fucking stunning women, liking their pictures and posting comments telling them they are fucking hawt?!? Dear lord
Depends if you are sexually aroused by them or not really.
paepoyrol · 16/08/2021 19:16

@pinkcircustop I don't think the men I find attractive do but admittedly haven't used insta in yrs!

MorganKitten · 16/08/2021 21:33

You have very odd ideas about cheating

WomanStanleyWoman · 16/08/2021 21:40

When it's my sister who I have practically looked after all my life I do care about her and want to make sure she doesn't get hurt. I have spent many nights looking after her after she has cried her eyes out over an ass. So I don't want her making the same mistake again.

Ah, so you like to play rescuer with your little sister. Could you be looking for a problem so that you can steam in and solve it?

Jennybeans401 · 16/08/2021 21:56

It's not cheating but it's not the sort of behaviour you'd want in a partner. Seems very immature to me, I would tell her and see how she feels about it. Doesn't seem a great beginning.

Kaleidmoscope · 17/08/2021 00:46

*@Iusedtobesoooomuchfun

newnortherner111

I would not call it cheating but a red flag. Sees women as purely objects, a sign of misogyny, so not harmless.

Why do you say that?

If these women put their half naked pictures up on the Internet for everyone to look at. Why does it make people who look at them misogynistic? Why are they there in the first place?surely because these women want to be admired and looked at?*

It's internalised misogyny - girls are shown from very early on that they will be valued and 'rewarded' for presenting themselves as sexual objects for men, and will be perceived as less valuable if they don't.

In the model/IG case the rewards and value come from likes, social standing, income, fame, etc and in one sense can be seen as a success story because the models look like they are in control/have chosen the narrative.

But for every empowered success story like this there are many many thousands and millions more stories where the outcome of men thinking its ok to sexually objectify women is absolutely the opposite of 'success'. It sometimes looks like your basic lack of respect/ inequality and frequently looks like harassment/intimidation/much worse.

And sometimes the models who look really empowered and in control have pretty sad stories going on at the same time. Remember #metoo?

All of this stems from a male sense of entitlement in relation to women's bodies being objects available to them to like/access/judge,without much if any consideration of the woman's feelings/interests/autonomy.

So ideally we as a society would be trying to cut down on blatant sexual objectifying not rewarding it. We are all sexual beings of course but should not be acceptable to view any person or class of persons to being only a sexual being.

Obviously- not all men are like that, etc. But I doubt the OP's sister has found herself a good one here.

Kaleidmoscope · 17/08/2021 00:46

Sorry bold fail

DeflatedGinDrinker · 17/08/2021 01:15

I like every pic of Jason Mamoa I see. My partner knows I love him 😂

YouMeandtheSpew · 17/08/2021 02:31

Well it’s not cheating but I’m with you that it’s shady behaviour and a bit gross. I certainly wouldn’t be all ‘cool’ with it. I doubt he’s a keeper, put it that way.

Greentrianglesarethebestones · 17/08/2021 03:01

OP are you a man or a woman?

1forAll74 · 17/08/2021 03:43

It is not cheating at all. People will always be looking at pretty women in bikinis and half undressed. Always have done, and always will.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 17/08/2021 04:39

It's a bit gross to be following and liking loads of influencers in underwear or bikinis when you are in a relationship

I follow a couple of actors, Norman reedus especially but I'm not on there liking all his topless pics even though I'm not in a relationship

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 17/08/2021 04:40

Oh and Jason mamoa as well

Galaxyinmypocket · 17/08/2021 05:01

Not cheating but shows lack of respect to do it so frequently imo. Yes, you might like a few because they catch your eye, but every picture? Embarrassing for him. Looks desperate.

MotherHaryy · 17/08/2021 07:58

@LeonieSims

You do realise that your partner (or any future partners you’ll have if you don’t have one now) will look at other women, don’t you?

Don't mind looking, do mind making it public by liking all their pics.

This 🙌🙌🙌🙌
romany4 · 17/08/2021 08:49

I must be cheating with James Purefoy then (if only)
Because I've liked and watched his full frontal scenes in Rome and Altered Carbon so many times.....bloody gorgeous man

Somuddled · 17/08/2021 12:27

It is not cheating but really gross behaviour. I wouldn't be interested in a man whoes main social media content was attractive women. I couldn't fathom following someone for their level of attractiveness to me. It's very icky.

Potteringshed · 17/08/2021 13:32

@romany4

I must be cheating with James Purefoy then (if only) Because I've liked and watched his full frontal scenes in Rome and Altered Carbon so many times.....bloody gorgeous man
Hang on, if I've been cheating by liking the scenes, does that mean we've been cheating together in some kind of long range orgy?
allfurcoatnoknickers · 18/08/2021 14:53

Alright, a question. Three bikini photos attached. Are they all inappropriate for a man to "like"? Only some of them? If so, why?

They're all from Instagram accounts I follow btw. I'd be fine if DH followed all of them too.

Bluntness100 · 18/08/2021 15:04

@Somuddled

It is not cheating but really gross behaviour. I wouldn't be interested in a man whoes main social media content was attractive women. I couldn't fathom following someone for their level of attractiveness to me. It's very icky.
I think this is where the camp is split. I see nothing wrong with it, as I like pics of Jason mamoa etc half naked. I’m ok with you thinking that’s gross and icky but know I feel differently.
minatrina · 18/08/2021 16:09

I think this might be a generational thing.

For me the biggest thing is that men who hit the like button on these types of pictures, and those who follow attractive influencers, are embarrassing. I just find the behaviour embarrassing, and I wouldn't want to be associated with a man like that 🤣 To me it just smacks of 'middle aged divorcé discovers social media'.

I don't know many men my own age that would follow and like multiple suggestive/explicit accounts as it's generally just a very cringe thing to do. I'd rather my man kept his businesses more private 🤣

I also do think it's disrespectful. I knew this one girl who had a particular physical quality that's usually seen as unattractive. Her boyfriend followed and liked photos from loads of fetish accounts dedicated to this particular physical quality. It was awkward to see (back when you used to have a feed on Instagram where it showed what your friends had recently "liked") because it kind of just highlighted to everyone this aspect about her, and made it seem like he was just with her for the fetish. It ended up being one of the things that opened her eyes to what a creep he was.

WomanStanleyWoman · 18/08/2021 18:07

I know it’s not the point of the thread, but it’s driving me mad. You can cringe at something, but the thing itself can’t be ‘cringe’. It can be cringey or cringeworthy, but cringe is not an adjective.