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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think liking pictures of half naked/bikini models is cheating?

154 replies

crazymicrowave123 · 16/08/2021 14:27

Or at least shady behaviour? My sister is in a newish relationship of about 6 months and they briefly split due to trust issues and she finds it hard to stand up for herself. I don't want to say anything if it isn't that big a deal, but its almost every bikini model or half naked influencer's pictures that he likes and type of people he follows. And it leaves a bad taste in my mouth because the last thing I want is the person I care about to get hurt. She doesn't know he does this as she doesn't have social media but I follow him on Instagram and I don't really want to get involved. WWYD? Or is it harmless?

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Original poster
crazymicrowave123 · 16/08/2021 14:44

Watching someone on TV is one thing, liking every half naked model on social media's pics is another. Guaranteed he wouldn't do it if he knew she had Instagram and I know she would be upset. I am a single person, free to like whatever I want. Completely different...

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AndNobbyDancing · 16/08/2021 14:45

I am cheating then, I followed Kanoa Igarishi on IG
as I think he is stunning, he is usually in a state of undress. I fail to see it is disrespectful, I still love and fancy my DH although they look nothing alike

Flatdisco · 16/08/2021 14:46

Not cheating but wouldn't be happy if my partner did this. It's up to her to set her own boundaries though.

girlmom21 · 16/08/2021 14:46

I don't think it's cheating but it's not something I'm comfortable with either.

But, if my sister was winding me up about what DP was doing on social media when she knew I had trust issues already I'd tell her to piss off.

Nicknacky · 16/08/2021 14:53

So you follow these women but it’s wrong that he does?

And it’s beyond weird to check who your sisters boyfriend is following on social media.

StarDrawers · 16/08/2021 14:54

@crazymicrowave123

Watching someone on TV is one thing, liking every half naked model on social media's pics is another. Guaranteed he wouldn't do it if he knew she had Instagram and I know she would be upset. I am a single person, free to like whatever I want. Completely different...
So if you were in a relationship what would you do? Still look at them but not "like" them? Liking isn't a kiss or flirting.
LeonieSims · 16/08/2021 14:55

You do realise that your partner (or any future partners you’ll have if you don’t have one now) will look at other women, don’t you?

Don't mind looking, do mind making it public by liking all their pics.

AryaStarkWolf · 16/08/2021 14:56

I wouldn't consider it cheating but it's definitely off putting and disrespectful to his g/f

GreenTortoise · 16/08/2021 14:56

It's just an influencers picture. It isn't like it it's Jane from down the lane.

supersonicginandtonic · 16/08/2021 14:57

Wow! My partner likes photos like this all the time. I couldn't care less and never thought of it as cheating. You can think other people are attractive when in a relationship.

WorraLiberty · 16/08/2021 14:59

Can you explain what you mean by 'half naked'?

Is it the bottom half or the top half?

I don't have Instagram but I'm pretty sure neither is allowed on there?

Original poster
crazymicrowave123 · 16/08/2021 14:59

@Nicknacky

So you follow these women but it’s wrong that he does?

And it’s beyond weird to check who your sisters boyfriend is following on social media.

Not weird at all in my opinion. I was best friends with her previous ex we all knew each other and hung out all the time. This person I don't trust even a little bit, and my sister knows this and has tried to make excuses for him in the past. I don't go constantly stalking the guy. I was just curious as to who he follows because every pic I like or look at he seems to be following and has liked it first. If my sister knew she would be really upset.
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LeonieSims · 16/08/2021 15:00

So if you were in a relationship what would you do? Still look at them but not "like" them? Liking isn't a kiss or flirting.

It essentially is flirting. It's publicly declaring to that person that you find them attractive. I'm sure when me and my partner walk down the street, he sees attractive women, and what does he do? He might look, he certainly doesn't wolf-whistle at them or give them an appreciative thumbs-up, which is the offline equivalent of liking these women's pictures.

SionnachRua · 16/08/2021 15:01

No, I don't think it's cheating. I can't see much difference between that and me enjoying a look at Idris Elba/ Jason Momoa/ Henry Cavill etc. It's not like the IG model would have any interest in him, even if he slid into her DMs (much like me and the aforementioned hunks! Sad Grin).

Nicknacky · 16/08/2021 15:01

It’s not up to you to trust him and check up on what he’s doing on Instagram.

I think you and your sister need to grow up and both work on your issues.

Original poster
crazymicrowave123 · 16/08/2021 15:02

@WorraLiberty

Can you explain what you mean by 'half naked'?

Is it the bottom half or the top half?

I don't have Instagram but I'm pretty sure neither is allowed on there?

Bikini models, women in their lingerie and social media influencers in bikinis
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LeonieSims · 16/08/2021 15:02

Usually, when you see someone attractive when in a relationship, you "liking" them is firmly in your head, you don't broadcast it to your partner or to the person. Somehow, those lines don't exist online though.

Potteringshed · 16/08/2021 15:02

I don't get it. He follows the same models you do. Why is it ok if you do and cheating if he does?

StarDrawers · 16/08/2021 15:04

@LeonieSims

So if you were in a relationship what would you do? Still look at them but not "like" them? Liking isn't a kiss or flirting.

It essentially is flirting. It's publicly declaring to that person that you find them attractive. I'm sure when me and my partner walk down the street, he sees attractive women, and what does he do? He might look, he certainly doesn't wolf-whistle at them or give them an appreciative thumbs-up, which is the offline equivalent of liking these women's pictures.

So looking is fine but interacting with the photo in any way is cheating? Like the model is going to care some randomer has liked them.
Bluntness100 · 16/08/2021 15:04

Are you on line stalking her bloke? It reads like you are. That’s the bigger issue. By far.

Original poster
crazymicrowave123 · 16/08/2021 15:04

@Nicknacky

It’s not up to you to trust him and check up on what he’s doing on Instagram.

I think you and your sister need to grow up and both work on your issues.

When it's my sister who I have practically looked after all my life I do care about her and want to make sure she doesn't get hurt. I have spent many nights looking after her after she has cried her eyes out over an ass. So I don't want her making the same mistake again. I wouldn't say anything to him at all. It's her decision to do what she wants with her relationship, I just feel sorry for her.
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WorraLiberty · 16/08/2021 15:04

I think your issues are actually bigger than your sister's to be honest OP.

Find something else to occupy your spare time, rather than peering into other people's SM behaviour. Especially given your own SM behaviour is so odd.

These two are fully grown adults (presumably), not 14 year old kids.

LionGiraffe · 16/08/2021 15:04

It’s not cheating. At worst it’s a bit tactless. I wouldn’t tell your sister.

Original poster
crazymicrowave123 · 16/08/2021 15:05

@Potteringshed

I don't get it. He follows the same models you do. Why is it ok if you do and cheating if he does?
Because I am not in a relationship and owe no loyalties to anyone?
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Original poster
crazymicrowave123 · 16/08/2021 15:05

@LionGiraffe

It’s not cheating. At worst it’s a bit tactless. I wouldn’t tell your sister.
Fair enough.
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