To make visitors wear masks when holding our newborn

[pearlsandpetals]

Hi everyone! I'm currently pregnant and due later this year.. I've started thinking about what measures to put into place to keep our baby safe, particularly if covid cases are high at the time and also because it will be the middle of winter and cold/flu season. I'm thinking that anyone who wishes to hold our newborn baby should have to wear a mask and sanitise hands first. My partner disagrees with the mask wearing and thinks that it's not fair to ask family to wear them, as they will want nice photos with the baby. I also think want there should be a limit on the number of visitors until our baby is at least a couple of months old. I want just close family members and people who have been played a part during the pregnancy to visit. Are these things unreasonable? I don't want to be made to feel like it is OTT but I just want to do everything I can to make sure our baby is safe and healthy whilst her immune system is so fragile.

You and your partner need to do what you think best for your child. But what I would say is that this needs to consider your baby’s mental and emotional needs, not just their physical health.

A massive part of a newborn’s development is watching people’s faces, seeing them speak, show emotions etc. Yes, you and your partner will do this unmasked, but I think it would be a massive shame if your baby wasn’t exposed to grandparents etc in this way.

Hopefully soon covid will be seen as part of the ‘background noise’ of life, and health anxiety around it will subside.

@8dpwoah

Would probably take your comment with more than a pinch of salt if you didn't refer to 'germs' *@ozanj*

Covid is a bit different to the normal sniffles that people worry about around brand new babies. And 'before one' is not the same as 'as soon as they're dry'.

It’s a fact though. Childhood cancers and even some forms of meningitis / sepsis can be prevented by early exposure to ‘germs’ and I use this as per the OXFORD DICTIONARY to include viruses, bacteria and parasites. By blocking Covid you are blocking other illnesses and before you know it the infection timeline for the best benefit to a child has passed. Infection protocols for Covid are designed to benefit adults not children.

You mean this one that says that lack of exposure to pathogens could increase the likelihood of a genetic predisposition to one particular childhood cancer being expressed?

www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2018/may/21/most-common-childhood-cancer-partly-caused-by-lack-of-infection

I couldn't find anything better after a quick scan on pubmed so do feel free to share if you've got any?

YANBU I wouldn't feel comfortable my newborn being passed around at the moment.
I didn't feel comfortable with in in Not-covid times.

You could delay having visitors until you feel mentally good. We are pushed in to handing over baby / seeing people very quickly after birth which for some is a massive moment and leaves us feeling all over the place. Cocoon at home with baby until you want to see people. It doesn't have to be days it can be weeks. And remember you are the one who is vulnerable, potentially in pain and very hormonal. Not DH. You decide when you're ready to have visitors (your mother who you may well need for practical and emotional support you might want her there well before other family and friends and that is fine)

@8dpwoah

You mean this one that says that lack of exposure to pathogens could increase the likelihood of a genetic predisposition to one particular childhood cancer being expressed?

www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2018/may/21/most-common-childhood-cancer-partly-caused-by-lack-of-infection

I couldn't find anything better after a quick scan on pubmed so do feel free to share if you've got any?

www.bmj.com/content/361/bmj.k2246

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4100471/

This BBC article explains where the immune exposure helps.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-44199844.amp

My DS was born a year ago and a lot of family members wore masks (was their own decision) when visiting for the first few times… when I look back on his first photos meeting his grandparents/uncles etc I really wish they didn’t wear them, it’s just another permanent memory of the crappy time he was born in!

Cool, thank you @Ozanj. Although all about the same specific cancer and infections potentially causing the expression of a pre-existing genetic factor in a relatively small proportion of the population of small children.

I get what you're saying, there is a link in that way on that specific cancer, but i don't think making sweeping statements basically suggesting that if you don't let your child get exposed to any pathogens they'll get cancer, on a thread with an anxious OP and potentially being read by other anxious FTMs about shielding (effectively) their newborns for the first few weeks is helpful. Yes it would appear lack of exposure to infection (RSV being the one quoted) does exacerbate a generic predisposition to a common form of leukaemia, but that's not what your first post said and I think it would be very troubling for a worried FTM to have read that without being able to delve deeper into it and take it at face value, particularly in the context of Covid still being rife in the UK at this time.

Not sure if it’s a bit late to add to this thread but it chimed with a situation I’m experiencing at the moment which is why I stumbled across it. A close family member has recently had a baby and having gone through the pregnancy with some challenges and anxiety and decided against getting vaccinated during, they are being ultra cautious about any contact with family. I do respect this decision but am hurt by the fact that they have decided to hire their birth coach to help out with the baby. I think I’m most upset by the fact that I am very aware that having school age kids makes one quite a “dirty” Covid prospect at the moment and I accept this, however this person also has school-age children and all the risk factors I feel I am being kept at bay for and yet this person is allowed to play a full part of the family at the moment, even though no close relatives are allowed to visit. Can you help me understand this? For the background, I’m a mum with 4 older kids.

Am creating a new post with this.

I wouldn't allow anyone hold my newborn during a pandemic.
I don't have a newborn my DC are grown so nothing PFB about it.

Don't worry about lack of exposure to infections, my DS was never passed around he's had RSV many times and other illnesses.
Once baby is vaccinated visit a play centre you'll pick-up some infection.

Your baby. Your rules really imo.
Even for cold sores that is a good idea.
Loved ones that whinge " having to wear a mask "and complain " its not fair " should take a hike. Here in Australia there are thousands of mums who gave birth last year and those grandparents haven't even met the baby yet 1.5yr later....

Get over it visitors. Your house. Your baby. You do what makes you feel safe op