To make visitors wear masks when holding our newborn

[pearlsandpetals]

Hi everyone! I'm currently pregnant and due later this year.. I've started thinking about what measures to put into place to keep our baby safe, particularly if covid cases are high at the time and also because it will be the middle of winter and cold/flu season. I'm thinking that anyone who wishes to hold our newborn baby should have to wear a mask and sanitise hands first. My partner disagrees with the mask wearing and thinks that it's not fair to ask family to wear them, as they will want nice photos with the baby. I also think want there should be a limit on the number of visitors until our baby is at least a couple of months old. I want just close family members and people who have been played a part during the pregnancy to visit. Are these things unreasonable? I don't want to be made to feel like it is OTT but I just want to do everything I can to make sure our baby is safe and healthy whilst her immune system is so fragile.

I think I'd ask close family/friends to do a LFT & wash their hands on arrival, maybe masks if rates are high?

No one in my immediate circle would mind 💁🏻‍♀️

I would definitely be happy to wear a mask, do a LFT, wash my hands...anything else really got a cuddle with a baby. I don't understand why some people are saying they wouldn't wear a mask

You are overreacting. I had my baby during the first lockdown and didn't insist on people wearing masks. I did make them sanatize their hands though.
Baby is over a year old and fine, never caught Covid.
Obviously up to you as it's your baby but I do think your partner is right.
I'm also confused by the bit about only wanting people who were involved in the pregnancy to visit. How many people were involved in your pregnancy?

Masks - completely up to you and I don’t think you are being unreasonable if it makes you feel better. Those closest could have a quick pic without a mask. To give reassurance you could ask them to do a LFT too.

Visitors - Covid aside I wouldn’t let just anyone cuddle my baby and do not allow them to kiss your baby either, especially near their mouth. I would always expect someone to wash their hands before holding a newborn baby. I would let close friends and family visit. They will be your lifeline.

@tiredmama2020 you'd like to think not right?! I have a friend who's MIL insisted on kissing her baby and gave her coldsores, she was in hospital and really poorly so I'm just putting it out there before people come over!

[quote unicornpower]@tiredmama2020 you'd like to think not right?! I have a friend who's MIL insisted on kissing her baby and gave her coldsores, she was in hospital and really poorly so I'm just putting it out there before people come over![/quote]
@unicornpower that’s horrendous! Anyone that kissed my baby wouldn’t have been allowed back ever 😬

We had people test. And wash their hands.

The most important thing is if they feel even in the slightest bit unwell, they don't visit. Covid or otherwise you don't make a baby or their exhausted parents ill.

Your baby, your rules! We didn't let anyone hold our LG for about a month after she was born and we did limit visitors. She's now 16 weeks so feel a bit more relaxed but we have a strict no kissing rule, only me and my DH can kiss her. Everyone has to wash/sanitise hands before they hold her.

I've got an 8 week old and I'm nervous about covid but I haven't asked people to wear masks. I have been a bit careful about not going to crowded places and tbh did t have many people over the first 4 weeks or so.

I'd definitely wait and see how you feel when the baby comes. The mask thing I think would come across pretty rude...be mindful of not pissing off people you might want to use as babysitters when the baby's old enough to leave for a bit! That doesn't mean it has to be a free for all, just space visitors out so you don't get too tired.

@Pearlsandpetals. The balance on here seems a little harsh.

Traditions in lots of places used to suggest that mother and baby confine themselves to the home for 40 days after a birth, with close female relatives helping to feed and support the mother. Visitors were allowed after that.

You are entitled to make your own decisions about who your baby is exposed to in the early weeks.

Do allow your baby's grandparents on both sides to meet your baby and it is fine to ask them to wash their hands when they enter your house, to do a rapid test before arriving and not to come of they have any symptoms of illness, regardless of whether they think it's a risk or not.

Many mothers to be and new mothers have been really scared during pregnancy and early motherhood. It has not been easy. It is OK to feel like you do. It is logical.

Speak to others, your loved ones, make your decisions, stay flexible, keep your family close.

You don't need to host 'passing the baby' parties for neighbours, aunties, cousins, friends.but you might need and want support and company. Leave doors open so that you can reach out and access this when you need it.

Motherhood is difficult and from the moment our babies are conceived, we are responsible for their every heartbeat. But it really does not have to be alone, others have walked this path before and others are on it too. We might not agree with the choices other people make for their children and families and we hope that others around us have the grace to accept that we have the choice to make decisions about our children.

Take care of yourself and good luck.

Had a lock down baby, we were extremely cautious, he still has some family to meet as they live abroad and haven’t been able to get back.
Everyone who did meet him (and they were few) in his first 11 months wore masks when they held him.

I absolutely do not regret this. Why would I? I believed it was the safest thing at the time and people were happy to support my wishes. Covid or no Covid, I don’t think good hygiene around newborns is a bad idea. If we had another, perhaps we would do the same again.

Frankly, why take what you perceive as a a risk because other people might be offended or brand you as OTT?
Really surprised at the split on this vote.

I’m gobsmacked that people think that requesting a mask on visitors in your baby’s early life might come across as rude.
Masks aren’t personal!

Can someone enlighten me as to why this would be seen as rude?

My niece has a new baby and I wear a mask and do an lft before I see baby.

Wash hands and antibac before touching her too.

I love that baby too much to risk her life.

Also to add, I work on an ambulance Last night I took dealt with a 4 week old covid positive baby. His great grandmother died of covid as I was tending to him.

Covid is still here and it's not a joke.

Tbh I don't think it's OTT to want people to wear masks and wash hands but unfortunately the majority will not think of this / offer to do so and I honestly found it difficult to raise especially with DH family. My family were more inclined to come in a mask.

I have been nervous about people holding him though so I haven't automatically just let people do so.

If you want to ask them to wear masks etc then do it OP and good on you for being up front.

Saying that some of my relatives have come in masks but then it annoys me when the mask is over their mouth and not their nose. It's more annoying than if they didn't bother!

I think there are some harsh responses here. I had a baby last summer just after 1st lockdown. I was anxious as well to start and just had grandparents and siblings visiting. They all washed their hands and wore masks when holding the baby and no one cared or at least no one said they did. Didn't have any other visitors for a while but this was still when people weren't really seeing each other in houses anyway. I can see why you are anxious, we've been in a pandemic ffs, some of these responses are really dismissive of that. I would say though you might change your mind once the baby is here. After the first few weeks I did relax and wasn't bothered about masks etc. As others have said best thing for your baby is for you to be vaccinated before birth so baby has some antibodies.

It’s your baby, so your rules, so you’re not being unreasonable. However, I wouldn’t personally do what you’re proposing and if someone told me I’d have to mask up and sanitise I’d probably just politely decline to hold the baby.

We had a baby during the lockdown and I was very strict about grandparents only seeing her within the rules, outdoors only when permitted etc. It’s my biggest regret - I should’ve just broken the rules and let them see their grandchild.

YANBU. Friend and her newborn were close contacts with covid case when baby was 9 days old and it was a very upsetting time for her as at the same there was a 3 week old baby from our area in ICU with covid.
I'm due in November and although I won't be asking people to wear masks I am only allowing people who are double vaccinated to visit. I couldn't really give a shit what other people think about this, it's not open for debate. This doesn't include family children though as they can't be vaccinated. Its about reducing the risk, we can't eliminate it. That's why my friends who aren't vaccinated aren't getting over the door if cases are high as they are covid deniers and I don't think I'd 100% trust them to say if they'd started having symptoms since they don't believe it's real!
I wouldn't worry what other people think, i don't care if people think I'm being overly precious as it'll make me feel less anxious and that can only be a good thing. I'm double vaccinated so hope the baby will have some anti bodies but i got my first dose before getting pregnant and 2nd at 16 weeks so I'm not 100% sure and it's probably something I need to research a bit more.

😂😂 sorry but I think its stupid! Babies and children aren't at risk from covid and like someone else mentioned imagine the photos and your baby looking at them when they are older seeing everyone in masks. Like something out of a horror movie! Agree with someone else that breastfeeding is the best way to pass natural antibodies and strengthen your babies immune system. I definitely wouldn't be taking the vaccines whilst pregnant as no one can no what the long term effects will be on the baby. Also how can people play a part in your pregnancy? Do you mean like just sharing your excitement and touching the bump? Not sure what else they could do to play a part lol

@Ilovechinese you're misinformed, babies are higher risk than older children as their immune systems aren't fully developed. And even older children aren't without risk. Yes, overall they are still fairly low risk but why would you want to take any risks if they can be avoided?
And if OP isn't vaccinated how will she pass on antibodies through breast milk to a newborn? It takes months to build up full immunity through being double vaccinated and by then the baby will no longer be new born
And playing a part in someone's pregnancy may be accompanying them to scans or midwife appointments, helping decorate the nursery etc not just touching her bump 🙄

I’d be more worried about RSV. We’ve had a terrible run of it as covid restrictions eased.

People should certainly wash their hands before cuddling the baby. I wouldn’t worry as much about masks but it’s your choice.

Sorry to be brutal but you obviously wasn't that concerned about covid before you started trying for a baby. 🙄

Surprised by some of the responses here. I don't think you're being OTT about hand washing or mask wearing at all. Huge congrats on your upcoming arrival, OP

Your baby, you choose. Will the people who are telling you this is ridiculous be dealing with a baby with covid should the worse happen ? No. Do what you feel comfortable with. I’m 8weeks post partum, had visitors right away, all had been vaccinated and they didn’t wear masks but I did ask them all to wash hands. No problems and no one raised an eyebrow. Tbf 3 years ago when I had my first people washed their hands without being asked.
I’m still waiting on my 2nd dose. I have a friend who is a non believer, won’t have vaccine and is out every night (lol not jealous at all 🤣). That made me feel a bit uncomfortable but I’m seeing her soon as baby will be a little older.
Just because restrictions have now changed doesent mean the risk is gone. My baby had a cough and cold like symptoms in first few days, I asked midwife if risk to babies was low, she said no one really knows. Be aware of isolating yourself , if people are well let them help you, my mum works in Gp practice and would do a lateral flow before coming to see baby, never asked her to but helped ease any worry about her being in an environment where she might catch covid.