Page 2 | To make visitors wear masks when holding our newborn

Tilly18101 · 15/08/2021 14:06

I’m FTM and due early November, DH and I have already discussed this too as it is a worry with a newborn immune system.

We’re asking for no visitors in hospital to avoid risk of catching Covid, esp as both our dads have health problems but we have said if we end up staying in and GP’s want to visit we’d be happy for them too.

When visiting at home, we’re going to try and limit too many people at once and stick to same family sets to avoid too much mingling, ask everyone to wash hands, no kissing at all, and must be vaccinated. No vaccine - no meeting the baby.

We won’t be asking for masks as I think it’s an addition that won’t make any difference but I know it’s important to others.

Bananas52 · 15/08/2021 14:11

We asked people to do a LFT before coming, wash their hands and wear a mask — especially as some friends are teachers/work in emergency services etc. After the first couple of weeks we relaxed a bit more and dropped the mask request. Don’t worry about what other people think, it’s your baby, people will understand. Good luck!

AllTheBs · 15/08/2021 14:19

I had DS (my first) last summer in the height of the first lockdown). I didn't allow ANYONE to hold him for the first month. After that (when cases started to drop and restrictions eased), I let my parents and siblings holding him but only whilst wearing a mask and after sanitising their hands. This remained the case for a further 2 months (until I felt comfortable basically).

I'm pregnant again now and won't put these restrictions in place this time but I will still be limiting visits to immediate family only.

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks (your partner aside). You do what you're comfortable with. If your family are decent people then they will respect your wishes, whether they agree with them or not.

TakeYourFinalPosition · 15/08/2021 14:20

@Tilly18101 Is your hospital allowing visitors?

Mine has said they won't this year, under guidance from the RCOG. We can have a single birthing partner, but that's all, no other visitors regardless of length of stay. They sent me a spreadsheet of Trusts that showed that nobody else was planning to change this either, but I'd be interested if that might change!

The in-laws are very excited to come and see us in hospital, I feel pretty bad that they aren't going to be able to. They don't think coming to see us at home will be the same (although they will, of course!)

MilduraS · 15/08/2021 14:21

With newborns I always do whatever mum or dad ask even if I might think (but never say) it's a little over the top. Your baby, your decisions. My sister was very overprotective of her first one, hands had to be washed immediately before you held her (even if only 5 minutes between holding), no perfumes were allowed to be worn and she was always on edge ready to grab the baby at a second's notice. With her second she practically threw him at me as I walked through the door.

MilduraS · 15/08/2021 14:22

Should have said my sister's first was years before the pandemic so the hand washing felt extreme.

TidyOmlette · 15/08/2021 14:22

OP this is your baby and don’t be made to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Yes you sound a bit OTT and it’s obviously it’s your first born but you are pregnant during a pandemic. I can’t imagine how I would have felt having my first during covid.

As others have said though don’t try and worry about it just now, wait until the time comes and see how you feel then

BeautifulTulips · 15/08/2021 14:23

I don't think you're OTT, I'd happily do this

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 15/08/2021 14:29

Sweetly bonkers and PFB!

Samafe · 15/08/2021 14:31

I am expecting DD2, due in November, I think I will stagger visits but honestly not because of covid but because I want to rest!
I will only request the following:

let me know if they are sick or if anyone in the family is sick
Wash hands when they enter the house

But honestly, I did the same for DS1 and this was before covid!

I will also of course follow any rules we will have in November.

user1471447924 · 15/08/2021 14:32

I think a better rule would be to insist everybody is vaccinated!

WTF475878237NC · 15/08/2021 14:33

Hi OP

Lockdown baby here. Masks and LFT and relatives were really happy with this. Don't regret doing all I could to protect my prem baby at all.

1forAll74 · 15/08/2021 14:34

You will be causing yourself some unnecessary worry with thinking about all these things, even before your baby is born.

WTF475878237NC · 15/08/2021 14:34

Oh and only very close family were allowed a hold anyway.

Soverymuchfruit · 15/08/2021 14:38

Don't know why others are saying you're bonkers. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

Theimpossiblegirl · 15/08/2021 14:39

Some of the replies are unnecessarily harsh. It's not PFB to want to keep your baby safe against the risk of a new virus, or any other illness, while they are little and full developing their immune systems.
Photos aren't everything.

See what the situation is at the time. My nephew was born last summer and my sister had garden visits only at first. No-one held him for a few weeks and no-one was offended. No-one is entitled to visit/hold your newborn.

B1rthis · 15/08/2021 14:39

Your baby your rules. Masks don't make much difference it's keeping your distance that's the best thing.
Your baby will be most safest if they're breastfeeding and kept away from New people for a while.

choli · 15/08/2021 14:42

@pearlsandpetals

Hi everyone! I'm currently pregnant and due later this year.. I've started thinking about what measures to put into place to keep our baby safe, particularly if covid cases are high at the time and also because it will be the middle of winter and cold/flu season. I'm thinking that anyone who wishes to hold our newborn baby should have to wear a mask and sanitise hands first. My partner disagrees with the mask wearing and thinks that it's not fair to ask family to wear them, as they will want nice photos with the baby. I also think want there should be a limit on the number of visitors until our baby is at least a couple of months old. I want just close family members and people who have been played a part during the pregnancy to visit. Are these things unreasonable? I don't want to be made to feel like it is OTT but I just want to do everything I can to make sure our baby is safe and healthy whilst her immune system is so fragile.

Translation: i want to keep the family of my child's father masked, gloved, and at a distance. My mum is fine though.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 15/08/2021 14:44

I would go with vaccinated and lft tests before anyone can hold your baby and just keep it to the people who you know you can trust to be sensible. I'd limit it to immediate family for the first few weeks and make sure that you don't get overwhelmed.

One thing I would say, is try not to isolate yourself. Neighbours had a newborn during one of the lockdowns and I think the isolation was extremely hard on them.

Squirrelblanket · 15/08/2021 14:45

I think it's OTT and unreasonable but it's your choice.

However if I was your family member I would politely decline the offer to come meet the baby until you'd become more rational.

TwinkleTwinkle11 · 15/08/2021 14:50

Hand sanitiser and making sure no one has any symptoms would be as far as I'd go.
But I would happily wear a mask if asked when visiting a new baby.
You just have to do what your comfortable with op.

VainAbigail · 15/08/2021 14:51

@choli

Spot on ✔️

Wintercoffee · 15/08/2021 14:51

Seems reasonable to me! Never mind Covid it’s the colds, flu, and cold sores especially that get passed to babies! Wouldn’t want anyone kissing my baby apart from myself and my husband.

Tell them your health visitor/midwife said to encourage guests/visitors to wear masks if they hold baby and thouroughly wash hands before, if they don’t want to they can just look from across the room

RogueV · 15/08/2021 14:52

Too much.

You’ll regret it

godmum56 · 15/08/2021 14:52

I think your baby your decision....I wouldn't give a moment's thought to people who want nice photos ahead of doing what the Mum wants. I think you should be guided by whatever the science and medical opinions are at the time. If you can get to the midset of "I /wecan do this if I/we need to but I/we may not need to" then that might be a way to make a place where you and the baby's dad can agree for now. I wouldn't be discussing it with other family on either side yet, it will only get them stirred up and not achieve anything.