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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband huffing over cutting grass

139 replies

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 15/08/2021 12:00

He didn't get up til after 10. Fair enough, it's Sunday. Lazed around all morning (as did I, after putting a wash on, which I will hang out). I just asked him to cut the grass - it's a 15 minute job. He huffs and whines, saying 'at some point today I might get a minute to myself.' He's doing it, but I'm pissed off that he clearly thinks I was unreasonable to ask him to get off his arse and do one tiny job. Genuinely don't know if I'm the unreasonable one now?

OP posts:
BasicDad · 15/08/2021 14:24

I'm with @FrancescaContini here.

If it needs doing, get it done. The unattractive part is the huffing and puffing. Either just say, yeh I'm on it, or make a bit of fun of it (but still bloody do it).

Men who whinge about owning their own shit need to go live with their mothers.

FrancescaContini · 15/08/2021 14:26

Yes…huffing and puffing like a bloody teenager being asked by his mum to tidy his room…yuck.

Very glad not to live with a partner when I read these threads.

Original poster
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 15/08/2021 14:27

@Daftasabroom

How often does the grass get cut? Much better for wildlife to let it grow a bit longer before cutting.
It hadn't been done for about 3 weeks.
OP posts:
SchrodingersImmigrant · 15/08/2021 14:28

@HeddaGarbled

People cut their grass too often, IMO. Save the daisies 🪧
Highly recommend clover. Bees LOVE IT
FuzzyPuffling · 15/08/2021 14:29

I cut our grass this morning. All on my own.
Last week, DH did it. With no input from me.
Amazing!

Wolfiefan · 15/08/2021 14:29

He wasn’t huffing about the grass cutting. It was because you told him to do it.
DH and I share jobs. He does the lawn. When he chooses to. As adults we don’t need telling to get jobs done.

ChequerBoard · 15/08/2021 14:29

Get a robot mower then no-one has to do it. Love ours, has taken the chore out of the garden maintenance and the lawn has never looked better.

It's on an automatic schedule so it checks the weather first and then if it's not rainy trots out of its little kennel to mow the lawn. It's also almost silent so no noisy mowing to annoy the neighbours.

girlmom21 · 15/08/2021 14:31

@chocolatesaltyballs22

I said 'the grass could do with a cut.' Didn't dictate a time table.

I hate mopping too. And hoovering. I have a cleaner Grin

Ah I hate this. If you want me to do something, ask. Don't do the shitty hint dropping. Take a piriton and do it yourself next time.
AnneLovesGilbert · 15/08/2021 14:32

Oh I dream of a robot mower. Is it amazing as I think it would be? The eufy for the house is a total game changer.

Brefugee · 15/08/2021 14:34

I hate mopping too. And hoovering. I have a cleaner

so get a gardener in too. I have horrible hay fever but i cut the grass and do the garden because it doesn't bother my OH.

ChequerBoard · 15/08/2021 14:38

@AnneLovesGilbert

Oh I dream of a robot mower. Is it amazing as I think it would be? The eufy for the house is a total game changer.
Yes it really is. I have a robot vac/mop too and love that as well.

You do have to put a boundary wire around the edges of the lawn but that isn't hard. Once that's done it's a totally hands off job.

Triphazards · 15/08/2021 14:38

I go twice round the outside edge of the grass and then ask: "Is it time for a sherry?"

Derbee · 15/08/2021 14:39

If you have a cleaner for the jobs you’re expected to do but don’t like, shouldn’t there be a gardener for the jobs your husband is expected to do but doesn’t like?

PeterCorbeau · 15/08/2021 14:42

Honestly we both fucking hate cutting the grass so we pay for someone else to do it and it's worth every penny,

HarrisMcCoo · 15/08/2021 14:43

"Get him telt" as we say here 😂

BeeOnADandelion · 15/08/2021 14:49

Sympathies OP. My ex was like this.

Sunday: can you help me do the housework please? But it's my day off! (Newsflash - it's my day off too!)

Evenings: can you clear up your mess spread all across the living room floor/take the bins out please, while I do the washing up? But I've been at work all day! (Strange that, so have I and almost everyone else I know Hmm).

This is why he's an ex. I'm far from obsessive. I don't spring clean ever. But I can't relax surrounded by mess and dirt, so I do refuse to live in a shit hole with a partner who has low standards of clean and tidy. I'm certainly not going to do it all myself or nag and nag and nag to get it done.

BillyWhozz · 15/08/2021 14:54

@chocolatesaltyballs22

I said 'the grass could do with a cut.' Didn't dictate a time table.

I hate mopping too. And hoovering. I have a cleaner Grin

In which case YABVU, and also in need of a gardener albeit as his expense.
BillyWhozz · 15/08/2021 14:55

@BasicDad

I'm with *@FrancescaContini* here.

If it needs doing, get it done. The unattractive part is the huffing and puffing. Either just say, yeh I'm on it, or make a bit of fun of it (but still bloody do it).

Men who whinge about owning their own shit need to go live with their mothers.

Whilst OP employs someone do to their own shit....
Samafe · 15/08/2021 15:07

@chocolatesaltyballs22

I said 'the grass could do with a cut.' Didn't dictate a time table.

I hate mopping too. And hoovering. I have a cleaner Grin

Honestly if my DH would come to me and say "the bathroom could use a wipe" hinting that he is not happy with the bathroom cleaning level and I should get up and clean, I would loose it. AngryGrin
Original poster
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 15/08/2021 15:11

Whilst OP employs someone do to their own shit....

Eh?? In what world is cleaning the house only my responsibility? We both live there.

OP posts:
Original poster
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 15/08/2021 15:13

And honestly, it's not worth paying a gardener to do it. It's like 4m X 2m. They'd laugh at me.

OP posts:
Original poster
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 15/08/2021 15:15

Also, I do 80% of the washing and 80% of the cooking. We both work full time.

OP posts:
abcdeg · 15/08/2021 15:17

@DumbestBlonde

Oh dear. I am long divorced, but my husband just hated being asked (told?) to do anything. And in fact, why the heck can they not see for themselves if something needs doing? These are the times when I think there should be some kind of manual - or mission statement for these fundamental chores and the kind of life you bth/all want to have. Draw it up together at the start, and amend as necessary. Getting all the basic stuff done and out of the way means it's easier to relax/have fun/partake of activities of choice separately or together - without anyone needing to "nag" anyone (i.e. asking more than once....) - and I'm sorry to say, it is usually the female of the partnership. I hated that aspect of being married - and we were polar opposites. In the end I just felt as though I was his mother, or teacher.
Yes, hate this too. "Just tell me what you want and I'll do it"

(Ok, but why can't you just use your own eyes and brain)

Tell them, then they groan and complain.

Just do it, then you can do whatever you like!

Wish I could live by myself, irritating.

Blossomtoes · 15/08/2021 15:18

@Wolfiefan

He wasn’t huffing about the grass cutting. It was because you told him to do it. DH and I share jobs. He does the lawn. When he chooses to. As adults we don’t need telling to get jobs done.
This. I’m the bed changing fairies. I decide when to do it. I’d be well pissed off if it was suggested I do it on the bloke’s schedule.
abcdeg · 15/08/2021 15:19

@DogFoodPie

I think it's a bit bossy to give your partner a job like you are their line manager. I wouldn't like it if dh did that to me.
Nobody likes being told what to do, but you can't just be lazy and then expect your partner to pick up the tab and clear up the trail you leave behind

It really does get grating, and is it not better to be told and fix up, than have your partner silently resent you everyday? Bottom line is, if you did what needs to be clearly done, you won't have to be told