Husband huffing over cutting grass

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

He didn't get up til after 10. Fair enough, it's Sunday. Lazed around all morning (as did I, after putting a wash on, which I will hang out). I just asked him to cut the grass - it's a 15 minute job. He huffs and whines, saying 'at some point today I might get a minute to myself.' He's doing it, but I'm pissed off that he clearly thinks I was unreasonable to ask him to get off his arse and do one tiny job. Genuinely don't know if I'm the unreasonable one now?

@FrancescaContini

What do you get out of your marriage? There can’t be anything more of a turn off than having to ask your partner to do something that obviously needs doing.

Erm, I get my grass cut for me?

Jesus, I wouldn't really call this a LTB occurrence.

YANBU - if stuff needs doing he shouldn't need to be harassed....although this is a small snapshot and he may be due a break depending on wider picture?

I think it's OK for cutting the grass to be "his" job of that suits your arrangements, but if it's his job, he decides if and when it needs doing. It's not down to you to organise him.

@FrancescaContini

What do you get out of your marriage? There can’t be anything more of a turn off than having to ask your partner to do something that obviously needs doing.

Not everyone views marriage as transactional...as in getting X out of their spouse.

I just imagined dh saying "bathroom could use a clean" or smth like that😂 now I am concerned because I have stupid windows so couldn't throw his clothes out. Juts slowsly stuffing it through that little openable part... Such anticlimax

I think it's a bit bossy to give your partner a job like you are their line manager. I wouldn't like it if dh did that to me.

[quote chocolatesaltyballs22]@DumbestBlonde you make a fair point. Why the hell couldn't he see it needed doing? I swear to god it would be 6ft high before he thought to do it off his own initiative![/quote]
Ah - I wish it wasn't that way; but do we "let them" get away with it, or did it pre-date being married, and they didn't make any kind of adjustment, I wonder....
When we first got married, I would wash BOTH cars on Sundays, while he watched Chuck Norris films (waaay before ithe internet! - God knows what he would do now...). I stopped when he complained I had scratched them.

We really can be a wee bit guilty of keeping them as man-children...... and nothing is more of a turn-off.

@SchrodingersImmigrant

I just imagined dh saying "bathroom could use a clean" or smth like that😂 now I am concerned because I have stupid windows so couldn't throw his clothes out. Juts slowsly stuffing it through that little openable part... Such anticlimax

You have the same windows as me.

When my laptop crashes, I consider angrily sliding it through the top opening 🤣🤣

@SchrodingersImmigrant

I just imagined dh saying "bathroom could use a clean" or smth like that😂 now I am concerned because I have stupid windows so couldn't throw his clothes out. Juts slowsly stuffing it through that little openable part... Such anticlimax

Exactly. I've been well aware that the bathroom, which is my job, could do with a clean for the last few days. What do you reckon MN would say if DH pointed that out to me, let alone instructed me on he exact time slot when it should be done?

@chocolatesaltyballs22

I said 'the grass could do with a cut.' Didn't dictate a time table.

I hate mopping too. And hoovering. I have a cleaner

If you have a cleaner, has he considered getting a gardener? Or just paying someone to cut the grass once a fortnight?

I didn't bloody instruct him on a time slot! Where does it say that I did??

@worraLiberty makes a good point. If a man mentioned to his wife/GF that the carpet could do with a vacuum with the expectation she would then get up and vacuum the carpet he'd be flamed on MN. With a hundred posters asking why he can't do it himself?

I also suffer from hay-fever, quite badly sometimes. It's a very weak excuse not to mow the lawn yourself OP just take a hay-fever tablet.

Anyway YANBU to ask and he is not being unreasonable to want to have a lazy day. He is being unreasonable to do it and then sulk about it. He should have just spoke up and said he'd do it tomorrow as he wanted a lazy Sunday.

I'm sorry I got the impression you wanted him to do it there and then?

As a previous poster said, should I just do bloody everything then? I had already sorted out the weekends washing. Division of labour and all that. God forbid a man should have to do anything on a Sunday

With 2 kids under three I'm just looking at the getting up after 10... sounds great!

But YANBU. It's a few minute job and he lives there too. My husband and I split the jobs, if he doesn't like doing something then I do it and vice versa.

Surely if mowing the grass is a job that you have both agreed is his, he gets to decide when it is done?

How would you feel if he said, “Ooh, the laundry is building up a bit - you could do with putting a wash on”?

@rjacksmiss

Can you not cut it yourself? I wouldn't like someone breathing down my neck like that.

Maybe just do everything yourself. Never ask him to share the chores then he’ll be happy. Many women on here have found that works for their men.

@MuttsNutts

Surely if mowing the grass is a job that you have both agreed is his, he gets to decide when it is done?

How would you feel if he said, “Ooh, the laundry is building up a bit - you could do with putting a wash on”?

Yeah i think this is it. I do my jobs when i feel up to doing them

Giggling at @WorraLiberty angrily sliding laptop through stupid windows

You know what, sometimes you just can’t be arsed. Sometimes you don’t want to be told when to do your jobs. Just like I’m assuming you’d not be keen for him to tell you when to do yours.

@54321nought

I don't think its fair to be nagging someone to do housework according to your personal timetable, on a Sunday.

By all means make the request, once, but really, its not up to you to instruct

This.

Either one of you should cut the grass if it needs doing, unless your lawn is the size of a cricket pitch. and it is all too much for you.

The amount of male apologists on Mumsnet these days is really getting out of hand.

Are you in my house? A very similar situation here today. If I ask my DH to do anything remotely cleaning/houseworky he gets really stroppy and sulky. But I work p/t and do all the meal cooking, planning, cleaning, driving, organising in the time I’m not working. But because he works f/t, his weekends are sacrosanct? Fine. I understand that, but we have kids and a house and responsibilities. I hate the petulance and entitlement.

I have to do the whole house tomorrow (mother visiting for first time in forever) and asked him to cut the grass so it’s one less thing I have to fit in. “Fine” . Ffs

How often does the grass get cut? Much better for wildlife to let it grow a bit longer before cutting.

People cut their grass too often, IMO. Save the daisies 🪧