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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think DD isn't fully dressed in leggings & a t-shirt?

520 replies

shesellsseacats · 15/08/2021 00:44

When I ask DD (nearly 9) to get dressed she often comes down in just leggings and a t-shirt, tucked in.

She looks undressed to me.

A t-shirt and leggings are fine for sport, or bed, or for toddlers IMO. Or a long tshirt over leggings is fine too.

But she likes to wear her T-shirt tucked in (which looks lumpy!) She just looks like she forgot to finish getting dressed like that, AIBU?

And AIBU to ask her to put another layer over the leggings? e.g. a skirt or pinafore dress or shorts?

I know it's only a small thing in the scheme of things and I'm inclined to let her get her way if we're just going to the park for a play or something. But I'm curious how others see it?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
27
Terhou · 15/08/2021 09:24

Someone suggested making her not tuck her T-shirt in, but she's adamant that's her style and I'm not going to argue about that.

Then she's going to be equally adamant that wearing a skirt over them is not her style, which makes your inquiry kind of pointless.

isthisareverse · 15/08/2021 09:25

Parker231

they are not appropriate because they are designed to be worn under something else, isn't that obvious?

A ski jacket in the middle of a heat wave is not appropriate either, for different reason. Inappropriate is not necessarily about modesty.

I wear sports leggings and sports bras too, but there's a time and a place...

liveforsummer · 15/08/2021 09:25

@Pulsr

Some leggings can be a bit transparent so if that's the case here then YANBU.

I live in leggings and tops at the moment as I'm pregnant and they're comfy, I make sure my top is a longish one though that covers my bum otherwise I look and feel a bit exposed.

That's definitely the case with adult ones but not really with kids. Maybe they make them more hard wearing because they need to be to be played in or maybe as they are cheaper to make as less fabric but all of DC's leggings are a different material to mine. Children obviously have different shaped bodies too so stretch them differently. Providing the leggings fit they are normally absolutely fine.
Original poster
shesellsseacats · 15/08/2021 09:26

But these women look like they forgot to get dressed or that they were going out of the house to me!

Interesting that it's not how it looks to others.

Also, before you all jump on me, I totally agree it's a small thing in the scheme of things.

And while looking for these images I've come across some horrible memes shaming women for "exposing" their crotch for wearing leggings. FWIW I don't feel the issue is that their crotch is exposed at all, what nonsense.

For me it's just a style thing like whether it's acceptable to wear PJs out or not.

AIBU to think DD isn't fully dressed in leggings & a t-shirt?
AIBU to think DD isn't fully dressed in leggings & a t-shirt?
OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 15/08/2021 09:26

See, I think that picture of the black leggings and yellow t-shirt looks absolutely fine, OP.

I think unclench on this. As she gets older she’ll change what she likes anyway. And you can stop buying cheap leggings.

liveforsummer · 15/08/2021 09:27

they are not appropriate because they are designed to be worn under something else, isn't that obvious?

But they aren't - not at all. Go in to Asda and you'll find countless legging and top sets not designed to be under anything else. This is something you, as a minority have decided not the clothing designers or society as a whole

isthisareverse · 15/08/2021 09:27

liveforsummer
if they were trousers, they would be CALLED trousers. As it is, they are ...^leggings" 😂

Just because some people were ridiculous outfits doesn't mean a parent is wrong to put their own foot down.

Feelingoktoday · 15/08/2021 09:28

Don’t buy Primark leggings then.

Cuddlyrottweiler · 15/08/2021 09:29

Top and leggings is a standard outfit. I wouldn't look twice at a kid in that first outfit.

I think you should just leave her to it. Like she said, it's her style, you're making her change because it's not your style. She's not undressed, she's covered, the rest is up to her.

NoSquirrels · 15/08/2021 09:30

But these women look like they forgot to get dressed or that they were going out of the house to me!

Interesting that it's not how it looks to others.

If I was to go out dressed like that I would personally feel underdressed and uncomfortable.

But I don’t bat an eyelid at the pictures you’ve added, or people dressed like that.

My own style choice doesn’t make it the ‘correct’ style choice.

isthisareverse · 15/08/2021 09:30

I have seen plenty of people wearing completely unflattering outfits, and there are jokes going round about camel toes and the likes which you'd think would be a thing of the past. It's a free country, other people wear what they heck they like.

Not my kid though, you can be fashionable without being ridiculous Grin

TheHoundsofLove · 15/08/2021 09:30

I also think the girl in the black leggings and yellow t-shirt looks absolutely fine. With chunky trainers on, it seems to be the current fashionable look.

liveforsummer · 15/08/2021 09:32

Fwiw someone I work with definitely wears leggings that expose her crotch to a degree. It's not the fault of the leggings, just they could do to be 2-3 sizes larger. Not shaming her, she can wear whatever she likes and if that's what she wants then fine, it's just a fact that it wouldn't happen if she wore a larger size. The women in your pictures look absolutely fine, perfect for a school run, visiting a friend at their homes or popping to the shops, I'd not wear it to go out for lunch, for a meeting or a day trip out.

isthisareverse · 15/08/2021 09:33

It's adult size, not child size, but you can also buy these shorts

It doesn't mean I have to let my teen daughter wear them, because #fashion. (or maybe with leggings? 😂 )

Hankunamatata · 15/08/2021 09:34

The pictures look fine. My husband has these convo with our kids as he likes them dressed a certain way. Usually ends up in arguments. I just raise an eye brow as I'm not fussed.

If your bothered buy her some nice leggings form likes of hype with matching top

liveforsummer · 15/08/2021 09:34

if they were trousers, they would be CALLED trousers. As it is, they are ...^leggings"

Yet found with the rousers online and in the stores and marketed as leg wear in the same way. Otherwise they'd be with tights and underwear. Why sell them as part of an outfit if that's not they are for?

Original poster
shesellsseacats · 15/08/2021 09:35

@Pulsr

Some leggings can be a bit transparent so if that's the case here then YANBU.

I live in leggings and tops at the moment as I'm pregnant and they're comfy, I make sure my top is a longish one though that covers my bum otherwise I look and feel a bit exposed.

Yes, if they're transparent that's a whole other level, I agree!

I saw a woman last week who was wearing leggings that were very thin indeed, tight fitting and pretty much totally transparent over her bum. You could see everything, her knickers and bum.

She was in her 20s and otherwise dressed pretty glamourously (perfect hair and make up and her outfit had obviously been carefully colour matched, they weren't a scruffy old pair of leggings).

Part of me wanted to tell her her leggings were see through as if I'd gone out like that by accident I'd certainly want some kind person to tell me. But I also wondered if it was actually deliberate given how well put together she seemed otherwise.

(I didn't actually say anything as there wasn't any way to say something that wouldn't have been potentially humiliating for her, or if there was I couldn't think of it).

OP posts:
CeeceeBloomingdale · 15/08/2021 09:35

That’s dressed, I hate skirts and dresses over leggings.

Travielkapelka · 15/08/2021 09:35

Both of those women look fine. The first one isn’t a particularly nice outfit but the second one looks really nice

ExpressDelivery · 15/08/2021 09:36

Our dress code at work stipulates leggings may be worn in place of hosiery but not in place of trousers Grin

Yes, people did need telling.

I don't think it matters for a 9yo for casual wear though.

liveforsummer · 15/08/2021 09:36

@isthisareverse

It's adult size, not child size, but you can also buy these shorts

It doesn't mean I have to let my teen daughter wear them, because #fashion. (or maybe with leggings? 😂 )

Sorry but you're not going to be able to purchase them for your 9 year old ( or your self for that matter) in Next, Boden or George, like you can leggings to wear as stand alone trousers. You can't really use SHEIN as comparison 😆
NoSquirrels · 15/08/2021 09:36

@isthisareverse

It's adult size, not child size, but you can also buy these shorts

It doesn't mean I have to let my teen daughter wear them, because #fashion. (or maybe with leggings? 😂 )

No, but if you’ve bought them (like OP has bought the leggings) and therefore deemed them appropriate outerwear, it’s a bit controlling and unnecessary to suggest you me DC can’t wear them unless in a certain way.
FeatheredHope · 15/08/2021 09:37

These threads are so fucking depressing. Thankfully most of us on here live in a free world where we can wear what we want.

AIBU to think DD isn't fully dressed in leggings & a t-shirt?
liveforsummer · 15/08/2021 09:38

@ExpressDelivery

Our dress code at work stipulates leggings may be worn in place of hosiery but not in place of trousers Grin

Yes, people did need telling.

I don't think it matters for a 9yo for casual wear though.

I wear leggings to work nearly every day, as do most of my colleagues that do the same job as me. I work with 4-5 year olds and spend a lot of time crawling around the floor. I need to be comfy!
Parker231 · 15/08/2021 09:38

@isthisareverse

Parker231

they are not appropriate because they are designed to be worn under something else, isn't that obvious?

A ski jacket in the middle of a heat wave is not appropriate either, for different reason. Inappropriate is not necessarily about modesty.

I wear sports leggings and sports bras too, but there's a time and a place...

I despair. Leggings are clothes, there is nothing indecent - they don’t need to be covered by more clothes.
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