Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think DD isn't fully dressed in leggings & a t-shirt?

520 replies

shesellsseacats · 15/08/2021 00:44

When I ask DD (nearly 9) to get dressed she often comes down in just leggings and a t-shirt, tucked in.

She looks undressed to me.

A t-shirt and leggings are fine for sport, or bed, or for toddlers IMO. Or a long tshirt over leggings is fine too.

But she likes to wear her T-shirt tucked in (which looks lumpy!) She just looks like she forgot to finish getting dressed like that, AIBU?

And AIBU to ask her to put another layer over the leggings? e.g. a skirt or pinafore dress or shorts?

I know it's only a small thing in the scheme of things and I'm inclined to let her get her way if we're just going to the park for a play or something. But I'm curious how others see it?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
27
KurtWilde · 15/08/2021 08:57

@shesellsseacats tucked in is the style just now though, my youngest does exactly the same. I guarantee by next month it'll be some different trend, and they'll be back in school uniform (if you're in the U.K.) anyway. Honestly I'd just roll with it. If being a parent has taught me anything it's to pick my battles!

GreatAuntEmily · 15/08/2021 08:58

I'm sure they tuck their t shirts in because they know oldies largely won't.

Lily78123 · 15/08/2021 08:58

@HerMammy
^Tbh I always feel a bit sorry for wee girls who have leggings on under skirts or dresses, two lots of waistbands must be uncomfortable and makes me think the parents are very prudish.^

Very simple non prudish explanation, leggings slide better than bare legs going down the slides, but the kid still wants to wear a girly dress and not leggings alone.

MyOtherProfile · 15/08/2021 08:58

Standard uniform for young girls. Tucked in tops don't look as good as ones left out IMHO but it's up to them and very popular.

godmum56 · 15/08/2021 08:59

@GreatAuntEmily

But if we all dressed for comfort, which is what people claim is a reason for this fashion, we'd all be in onesies 24/7.
not me, I loathe the things, also jumpsuits....but each to their own....also nobody has said that they are acceptable clothing for formal occasions or where there is a dresscode.
Cam2020 · 15/08/2021 09:01

She's dressed.

Children have very little say in anything, she's finding her own style and personality - let her have it. Obviously, if it were something indecent, that would be different. With some of the horrible, sexualised outfits I've seen aimed at tweens, I'd say her wanting to wear leggings and a tucked in T shirt are not a problem!

NoSquirrels · 15/08/2021 09:01

the way DD wears hers, with her T-shirt tucked in, just looks wrong to me. It makes a difference and doesn't look like an outfit to me, it looks like sportswear or underwear.

Someone suggested making her not tuck her T-shirt in, but she's adamant that's her style and I'm not going to argue about that.

It’s a style that’s everywhere at the moment - jumpers tucked into jeans, and so on.

Your choices are to buy different t-shirts that tuck in better - more slim fitting than loose, different leggings that are a bit thicker so show less bumps - more like jeggings than cotton thin leggings - or just to grin and bear it til the fashion changes.

pinkteapots · 15/08/2021 09:07

I agree OP actually. Its all very well ssying 'she's a child OP get over it' etc but isnt that the point - she's a child, you're her mum, your job is loving guidance. It doesnt have to rnd in an eating disorder and bad relationship as some PPs imply exaggeratedly. Its your job to teach her good taste, appropriateness, just quiet guidance that will lead to her as a teen having a greater sense of her bodily self worth, classier style, and not conflating fashion (cycle shorts, or bum cheeks out, or see through leggings, ugh) with style. Yes she's young, no it doesnt have to be a scene, and it can be a lovely mum daughter thing to do actually 'lets go up snd see if we can find a nice top... here try this... granny used say blah blah to me and thats a good way to look at it... thst looks so much better and youre so comfy... love you, go play' type convo.

I can only imagine the dire stuff i see on teen gitls on our main street is from a 'she's only x, let her away in it' type attitude prevalent here. Even though all other upbringing is seen to begin young, apparently dressing appropriately is foisting sexuality on our children as opposed to protecting them and nurturing awareness.

And yes there's an issue with little girls clothes.

And no you dont have to mske your child miserable. And no you dont have to die on every little hill. But then again, its just part snd parcel of being her mother.

Also, one thing is - if you wear something like leggings and a tight top, you cant tell her not to really...

I'll get took apart for saying all this, but don't give a rats ass. The people who insist that telling your child not to wear something too revealing is sexualising them, are allowing their children to be sexualised by fashion design and consumerism and failing to protect them. Leggings may not fall into this category obvs, but many teen fashions do - and the reason theyre worn is often due to a wear what you like attitude growing up.

lottiegarbanzo · 15/08/2021 09:08

The tucking in is odd and will look odd to other people. Tuck into trousers, top over leggings. They're designed to be sleek and tight, not tucked into.

Depending on the leggings, they can cling tightly around the bum and vulva in a way that starts to look less ok with age, even from 8 or 9, though a child probably won't be aware of this themselves, which is why I'd couch the comment in fashion and design terms.

The outfit, with long top over leggings, is fine.

gogohm · 15/08/2021 09:08

I'm with you @shesellsseacats

Same goes for everyone, leggings are fine but need a tunic or dress over as they tend to be thin and show underwear through. Running leggings are ok as much thicker

liveforsummer · 15/08/2021 09:11

But if we all dressed for comfort, which is what people claim is a reason for this fashion, we'd all be in onesies 24/7.

Well no as onsies are not even intended for outdoor wear - leggings and t shirts absolutely are. Onsies aren't especially comfy and OP walked where it was where it was so warm. I'm in Scotland and it's hit at least 20c nearly every day of the summer holidays so far. My dc have been in shorts rather than leggings the entire time. Yes they tuck everything in - it's the fashion just now. I've been showing dd1 how to just tuck the front in with some things as a lot of the clothing models are doing atm then letting her decide if that's how she wants it or fully tucked in as she'd do otherwise. Dd2 seems to pull off the tucked in look. Must be her shape she always looks really cool!

liveforsummer · 15/08/2021 09:13

Also my dc don't have a single pair of thin or see through leggings. Some are sports leggings or tregging types but the vast majority are £2 primark or H&M and can't see through any. Even the lighter colours

BeaBeaBuzz · 15/08/2021 09:14

It’s how 98% of 9/10 year old girls dress right now. YABU

FusionChefGeoff · 15/08/2021 09:14

@LaChatte

11yo DD was still wandering round the house in pants at lunchtime so I asked to get dressed. She returned a few minutes later wearing a pair of socks...
Brillliant!!!!!
BakewellGin1 · 15/08/2021 09:14

Leggings as long as not see through and cheap are absolutely fine with Tshirts.

Practical and comfortable.

As a grown adult I wish I had the figure for leggings and Tshirts Grin

Brigittebidet · 15/08/2021 09:15

My DD went through a period of tucking everything in to everything but has grown out of it now at 10. But yes, leggings and t-shirts are a. Comfortable and b. Terribly practical and c. Cover all the requisite parts. Win win

Original poster
shesellsseacats · 15/08/2021 09:15

@NoSquirrels

the way DD wears hers, with her T-shirt tucked in, just looks wrong to me. It makes a difference and doesn't look like an outfit to me, it looks like sportswear or underwear.

Someone suggested making her not tuck her T-shirt in, but she's adamant that's her style and I'm not going to argue about that.

It’s a style that’s everywhere at the moment - jumpers tucked into jeans, and so on.

Your choices are to buy different t-shirts that tuck in better - more slim fitting than loose, different leggings that are a bit thicker so show less bumps - more like jeggings than cotton thin leggings - or just to grin and bear it til the fashion changes.

Yes, I think this may be the key.

And, I know objectively this is probably ridiculous as in reality there's so little difference between then, but I don't feel the same if she's wearing the same t-shirt with jeggings or skinny jeans, but in fact she calls them all leggings, there's no difference in her mind.

She has some lovely bottoms that are somewhere between leggings and loose yoga pants from next, which I think look great with a t-shirt. And she has some very patterned leggings from Boden (how very Mumsnet Grin ) which don't look quite so bad with leggings to my mind. It's the thin cheap ones from H&M or Primark that look especially bad with a t-shirt tucked in come to think of it. Particularly plain black ones in my opinion.

LIke this, for example.

AIBU to think DD isn't fully dressed in leggings & a t-shirt?
OP posts:
isthisareverse · 15/08/2021 09:16

YANBU

Leggings are not trousers.

It's your job as a parent to teach your kids the basics, nothing wrong with asking her to wear appropriate clothing.

chalamet · 15/08/2021 09:17

@MessOfEyelinerAndSpraypaint how the fuck is wearing leggings not having self respect? You’re talking about a child needing to be taught self respect for wearing leggings. What’s wrong with you? Jesus.

liveforsummer · 15/08/2021 09:19

@isthisareverse

YANBU

Leggings are not trousers.

It's your job as a parent to teach your kids the basics, nothing wrong with asking her to wear appropriate clothing.

Leggings are in the trouser section of every shop. You can buy countless legging and t short sets intended to be worn together - many of the t shirts cropped. How on earth are they not trousers 🤣. What are they? They certainly aren't found in the underwear and tights section!
Original poster
shesellsseacats · 15/08/2021 09:21

Wearing it like this looks find to my eyes, I often wear tunics with leggings myself.

AIBU to think DD isn't fully dressed in leggings & a t-shirt?
AIBU to think DD isn't fully dressed in leggings & a t-shirt?
OP posts:
Pulsr · 15/08/2021 09:21

Some leggings can be a bit transparent so if that's the case here then YANBU.

I live in leggings and tops at the moment as I'm pregnant and they're comfy, I make sure my top is a longish one though that covers my bum otherwise I look and feel a bit exposed.

Parker231 · 15/08/2021 09:22

Why aren’t leggings appropriate clothing @isthisareverse.

They are practical, comfortable and look good.

images.app.goo.gl/eiQR2TfLxqkuEgZd7

I would have worn these today but too warm and the leggings are in the wash basket.

liveforsummer · 15/08/2021 09:22

Unfortunately your dc is 9 now and not 3. She's interested in fashion and sorry, that's not it! My 8 year old would hate that outfit. Sorry OP.

kikipie · 15/08/2021 09:22

Don’t buy the cheap ones then 🤷‍♀️