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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think DD isn't fully dressed in leggings & a t-shirt?

520 replies

shesellsseacats · 15/08/2021 00:44

When I ask DD (nearly 9) to get dressed she often comes down in just leggings and a t-shirt, tucked in.

She looks undressed to me.

A t-shirt and leggings are fine for sport, or bed, or for toddlers IMO. Or a long tshirt over leggings is fine too.

But she likes to wear her T-shirt tucked in (which looks lumpy!) She just looks like she forgot to finish getting dressed like that, AIBU?

And AIBU to ask her to put another layer over the leggings? e.g. a skirt or pinafore dress or shorts?

I know it's only a small thing in the scheme of things and I'm inclined to let her get her way if we're just going to the park for a play or something. But I'm curious how others see it?

OP posts:
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trancepants · 15/08/2021 10:31

I mainly wear leggings and t-shirt and I'm 42. I don't tend to tuck my t-shirts in though. I either wear a form fitting spaghetti strap top or if it's a longer t-shirt I cuff the sleeves and tie the ends round the back, so it's tight on my waist. If it's warm out, I wear shorter leggings to just past my knee. In colder weather I usually wear a fitted ribbed jumper instead of a t-shirt and warmer jeggings type skinny jeans. My leggings range from sports leggings to plain black jersey cotton.

When it was full on heatwave a few weeks ago, I mainly wore short-shorts and crop tops. I only ever wear runners or occasionally smarter looking shoes/boots that have souls like runners. I dress 100% for comfort and I like that I'm always ready to do a few stretches, some heavy lifting, play with DS, chase down the dog, have a go on the monkey bars, do a cartwheel if challenged, etc. Why would you want an actual child to dress in a way that doesn't allow as much freedom of movement????

isthisareverse · 15/08/2021 10:34

@aSofaNearYou

I love how all the people trying to argue that it's not fully dressed are basically saying "because I don't like what it looks like", they don't have any logical reason that = not dressed. There are lots of styles I don't personally like, but it doesn't mean they somehow aren't real clothes. She's dressed OP. Just ask her to stop tucking her tshirts in when she does it.
the logical reason is that they are not trousers, are too thin to be trousers and are not appropriate, and don't look flattering at all. So if you want to look like you forgot your dress and like to show your butt, of course you are free to do so but there's more than enough logical reasons.
aSofaNearYou · 15/08/2021 10:38

the logical reason is that they are not trousers, are too thin to be trousers and are not appropriate, and don't look flattering at all. So if you want to look like you forgot your dress and like to show your butt, of course you are free to do so but there's more than enough logical reasons.

"They don't look flattering" is not a logical reason. That is the point I JUST made.

They are as much trousers as anything else is. Some are see through but then half of the tops I see in shops for women are see through (and they are definitely classed as tops).

If you don't like what they look like that's fine but not a single one of the things you just said is a logical argument to back up your opinion and mean people should not wear them.

trancepants · 15/08/2021 10:40

and don't look flattering at all. So if you want to look like you forgot your dress and like to show your butt

Maybe they don't look flattering on you but mine, frankly, look A-fucking-mazing.

No-one would look at me and think I forgot my dress though they may be thinking, 'if I had a butt like that I'd show it off too!'

isthisareverse · 15/08/2021 10:42

If you don't like what they look like that's fine but not a single one of the things you just said is a logical argument to back up your opinion and mean people should not wear them.

I don't care about people, I am merely talking about my own daughters...People wear what they want.

Branleuse · 15/08/2021 10:43

I think thats perfectly ok, but maybe tell her that the tshirt needs to be either untucked, or tied in a little knot at the front rather than tucked in. Or is she hankering for a cropped tshirt. What are her friends wearing?

isthisareverse · 15/08/2021 10:43

trancepants
Maybe they don't look flattering on you but mine, frankly, look A-fucking-mazing.

of course you do Smile
As long as YOU believe it, it's all that matters.

Branleuse · 15/08/2021 10:44

also if you make sure all the leggings you get her at that arent see through, then maybe youll feel better about it. Buy sports leggings maybe

godmum56 · 15/08/2021 10:44

I am with Queen on this one

isthisareverse · 15/08/2021 10:44

EVERYONE wears such outfits believing they look A-fucking-mazing in them 😂

Jerima · 15/08/2021 10:44

Maybe you should tell her what to wear and in return she can tell you what to wear

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/08/2021 10:45

@GreatAuntEmily

But if we all dressed for comfort, which is what people claim is a reason for this fashion, we'd all be in onesies 24/7.
Idk how old your dd is. But you will get very little say in the teenage years and onesies are indoor wear for anything other than teens making a statement. For my dd and her friend went have gone out in their pjs locally walking the dogs with me… as a fashion statement as well as walking to the local shop in onesies. I put my foot down over the expectation to be allowed to wear a dressing gown or slippers. But then sliders are almost slippers.
NoSquirrels · 15/08/2021 10:45

@isthisareverse

If you don't like what they look like that's fine but not a single one of the things you just said is a logical argument to back up your opinion and mean people should not wear them.

I don't care about people, I am merely talking about my own daughters...People wear what they want.

Have you told your DDs they’re not people yet? Confused
isthisareverse · 15/08/2021 10:45

@Jerima

Maybe you should tell her what to wear and in return she can tell you what to wear
you should write a book about parenting, I'd buy it!
godmum56 · 15/08/2021 10:45

@isthisareverse

trancepants Maybe they don't look flattering on you but mine, frankly, look A-fucking-mazing.

of course you do Smile
As long as YOU believe it, it's all that matters.

meeeeeyow!
isthisareverse · 15/08/2021 10:47

NoSquirrels
Have you told your DDs they’re not people yet?

Well, yes, haven't you? Confused
I CARE about my kids, and they know that, and they also know i don't care about random "people".

Herja · 15/08/2021 10:47

isthisareverse I would counter that they are a type of trousers (much as jeans are a type of trousers), and are not too thin if you don't buy really thin ones. They can look flattering (admittedly not universally, but I'm not sure any clothing is universally flattering). Thus there is bugger all wrong with them.

isthisareverse · 15/08/2021 10:47

godmum56
Grin

true though, so don't be mean now.

godmum56 · 15/08/2021 10:47

@isthisareverse

EVERYONE wears such outfits believing they look A-fucking-mazing in them 😂
not necessarily...loads of us think that the judgey twats can feck off
icedcoffees · 15/08/2021 10:48

I'm a dog walker and my work "outfit" is sports leggings and t-shirts for a whole number of reasons.

  • comfort
  • quick to wash and clean overnight
  • practicality - I have to bend down to pick up dog poo, disentangle leads, put leads on/off collars, adjust harnesses, pick bits of greenery out of their fur...

I don't really care what I look like. I can't do my job in jeans or proper trousers without either a) sweating like a pig or b) being very very uncomfortable. Plus, I always end my days covered in dog hair, mud, slobber, dirt and pawprints - there is NO point wearing anything fancier than leggings.

godmum56 · 15/08/2021 10:48

@isthisareverse

godmum56 Grin

true though, so don't be mean now.

why? you were
aSofaNearYou · 15/08/2021 10:50

@isthisareverse

If you don't like what they look like that's fine but not a single one of the things you just said is a logical argument to back up your opinion and mean people should not wear them.

I don't care about people, I am merely talking about my own daughters...People wear what they want.

Eh? You haven't listed any logical reason for YOUR DAUGHTERS to wear them, then. 🙄
aSofaNearYou · 15/08/2021 10:50

*Not to wear them, rather.

trancepants · 15/08/2021 10:54

@isthisareverse

trancepants Maybe they don't look flattering on you but mine, frankly, look A-fucking-mazing.

of course you do Smile
As long as YOU believe it, it's all that matters.

Oh, I absolutely do. I'm athletically fit, do ultra endurance sports as well as regular strength and flexibility training and I'm a mesomorphic body type, which means I have an hourglass shape and build muscle really easily. I know we're not supposed to ever really acknowledge anything positive about how we look, but the simple fact is that I do actually look like a tiny Amazonian.
Munchkin08 · 15/08/2021 10:57

My 11 year old tucks everything in, school jumper into her skirt, etc 🤦🏼‍♀️ - I'm not a fan either, but I old - what do I know 🤣. Leggings and t-shirt fine.