To think life is not worth living

[Omgthatssointeresting]

I know that sounds dramatic and don't worry I am not suicidal but I just cannot understand how people enjoy life.

Life has some positives but so many more negatives. I'm either working or too tired from working to do anything most days. It's such a relentless slog and I don't see the point in living if 90% of my life is doing things I don't want to do. And the other 10% is just ok.

I have an objectively good life - lovely partner, a.job that is better than most jobs out there, a wonderful dd, etc. And I hate my life. It's not intolerably awful it's just so repetitive with no enjoyment. I've been keeping track of whether I was happy that I woke up and lived that day and 47 days in a row now the answer is no. I wish I never even woke up. Nothing bad happened it's.just what is the point? What is the point in dealing with all the irritation and difficulty of everyday life?

I work so hard. Everyone does. Lots work even harder than me in tougher jobs. But for.what? To go.shppping on Saturday and to the dump on Sunday then try and recover for more work on Monday. Why? Why keep going?

It's insanity. To spend your whole life doing things you don't enjoy. I feel so guilty for bringing my daughter into this world. That one day she's going to have to do this. That when she's 29.she might also be counting down the years until she is 70 and can finally.retire. That maybe she too secretly hopes to get a serious illness or die in a car accident so that she can stop living without feeling guilty for abandoning her loved ones. I have to resist the desire to apologise for creating her life almost daily.

So I think there are 3 possible answers to why people bother to live their lives despite it making no sense to me.

1. They actually enjoy everyday life. I find this unbelievable. What is enjoyable about emptying bins, commutes to work, washing dishes, dealing with people in HR, etc. Most people don't enjoy their job either so I find this option implausible.

2. The good of special days make up for all that work. It would have to be 50x better than everyday life so again not likely.

3. People just bury their head in the sand. They delude themselves that their life is good and that they enjoy it and lie to themselves to keep themselves same. I think this must be what most people are doing.

So sorry for the long winded question. Basically, aibu to have this attitude and if so why? My dp says he is option 3.

Thanks for your insight.

I think alcohol and porn keep the masses happy.

It used to be religion.

Look for another job. See if you can afford to do fewer hours. Get everyone else in the family to pull their weight even the youngest can put their shoes and toys away.

@Omgthatssointeresting

I am really interested in what people enjoy about their job? Most people dislike their job - this is a research based fact. And by enjoy I don't mean 'it makes me feel important' or 'im making a difference' but specific things.ypi do each day that you look forward to. Perhaps I should focus on these. Also if.yoi don't.mind mentioning your job title too. Thanks

It's not true that most people dislike their job yougov.co.uk/topics/politics/articles-reports/2017/08/03/love-wage-balance-how-many-brits-their-job-and-the

Can you spend a bit more time in nature and natural surroundings? I find that makes me feel much better about things. I also enjoy thinhs like washing up by playing music and focusing on the smell of tge soap and warmth of water etc.

Or failing that, i watched the fungi documentary on netflix and there was a bit about research into psychedelics from mushrooms and that seemed to cheer people up

Option 1

I had a job that I hated and life was grim, I was definitely depressed.

My job is busy now but no two days the same and very rewarding at times. Also incredibly frustrating at times but I love it. Primary teacher.

I'm in my 30s, married with two small children. Holidays off as a teacher are brilliant. We also live in a place we love with access to great countryside so spend loads of time outdoors.

I love my life, 1) God 2)family 3)friends 4) random events 5)food 6) chilling

I get so much enjoyment from life and I used to have crippling depression!

You sound as if you are much more than sad, OP. Depression can skew your world view so it can seem like how you describe. I know, I’ve had it. I lived through far worse life events than when I was depressed and found them much easier to deal with. Depression has no joy in anything.
I enjoy life now. My favourite thing is being in the mountains. It makes all the other ‘stuff feel irrelevant. I like stargazing too. I like my job, although I don’t love it. It pays the bills. But it gives structure to my life and I enjoy life outside work the more for it. I like small things-a perfect coffee, a good book or toast buttered just right. But I need my regular escape to the mountains.

I'm a big planner. I like planning ahead so because I always have something to look forward to that keeps me going. Perhaps that's what you need?

I also have a couple of cars that I absolutely love and I spend a lot of time washing, polishing etc and that keeps me happy too.
I love looking online at other cars I like and want to buy. So I guess the meaning is find something that makes you happy and out most of your time into that.

I'm number 1. Even the boring or annoying says are great?

Why...well, the odds of just being a sentient being for a day in this universe are so infinitesimally small, it's an absolute pleasure.

@Omgthatssointeresting

Thanks everyone for your replies. It seems most people are a bit of all 3. It is interesting to hear the everyday things you enjoy. It is really helpful to see things from another perspective. I like hearing about people's lives. It's reassuring that I'm not the only one that finds life absurd.

I don't think life is absurd. I think living a life that makes you unhappy, because you're afraid to change it is a bit absurd. We're here, and then we die. That's it - all we get is time. So I urge you to find a way to make the most of your time and get the best out of it.

The whole working 5 days a week, 9-5 hours, routine life, 2.4 kids, 40 year mortgage etc. is a choice. It's the choice most people make, because on balance it gives stability and security and a home and a family life. But the trade off is routine, structure, and monotony which is frustrating sometimes.

There are many people who are living completely different lives - working on a research station in the Arctic region, living alone in an off-grid hut in the woods, or on a canalboat, or living on a tropical island working as a scuba instructor, or as a stuntman on movie sets.

To some people this seems weird or crazy or ridiculous, but for others this is their way of making the most of their time on this earth, and that makes it worth it.

I can relate. I feel like my life has been one disaster or another and I'm in my mid 40's and can't remember the last time I was relaxed and genuinely happy. I feel like my life has been wasted on drama and crap and that this is it for me. Some peoples lives are just like that till they die and I'm one of them.
But I get up and smile and try to keep everyone around me supported and on an even keel and people like talking to me because I'm so calm and understanding but deep down I just don't see the point and haven't for a long time.

I've had really great periods in my life. In fact I think its been mostly good, despite challenges. The last 3 years, living where I'm living, how I'm living? I bleeding pray for death

I'm hoping things change again because, yeah, im not sure how much longer I can tolerate this. But I also know that life has a lot to offer. That makes it worse in a way because I know it doesn't have to be this way.

Keep going OP xxx but, I do get what your saying.

I work so hard. Everyone does. Lots work even harder than me in tougher jobs.

You are not alone, even people with almost perfect lives don’t see the point in living anymore.
I have quite a difficult life and I am tired all the time and I struggle to live with all the sick child and animal abusers there are in the world.
I make sure that every day I tell myself what I am grateful for as I can struggle with depression if I feel too low.

I think your job is probably a big part of the reason you feel so unfulfilled.

I am a secondary school teacher and a single parent which I find very stressful but I am happier than I was when I was working as a cleaner as I am mentally more challenged/fulfilled.
I think you need to have a think about your career and how you could improve it. It may be that you take on a easier job for less stress or a more challenging job that you find more rewarding.

Hello OP,

I also feel similar to you, that life is just one job after another, that I just work to pay the bills. And I actually do enjoy my job! But what’s the point when the rest of life is just house jobs, then gardening jobs, then food shopping.... very little joy in my life (I’m single and without children - I would like a family so much but at nearly 40 it’s becoming less and less likely).

As many people have suggested, I eventually recognised this is depression. I started working with a therapist, taking antidepressants, and working on my own thought patterns. I can start to see the small things that give each day a bit of light, and there are some great suggestions here (which I’m also making a list of, so thank you to previous posters )

I would completely agree with previous posters to speak to your GP. If you do have depression, you can start looking at this differently - you have an illness that needs treatment. Some of that is talking therapy, possibly medication, and doing your own work (I write in a journal every day, like physio exercises for the mind). I think the therapy and the journaling are most important, but antidepressants do help lift the ‘fog’ to make these more doable.

Very best wishes to you

My job is ok ish. I work in NHS admin and it is nice sometimes to feel I am helping patients. I like to talk to patients, I have some input I helping them through the maze of their treatment pathways.

I am semi retired and enjoy my two non working days at home. My tiny granddaughters bring me absolute joy. I like to sit in my garden quietly reading and enjoying the sun. I think simple pleasures are the best.

Life has not been easy what with one thing and another and I have been close to thinking what is the point many times. But, despite everything, I’m glad I am here.

I hope you find peace.

@ghostmouse

I don't enjoy life at the moment because i recently lost my husband to cancer. Now that's shit.

I'd love to have a normal life at the moment, enjoying the small mundane things that kept our lives going. I did genuinely enjoy my life when he was alive, my job meh just a cleaner.

When you lose a life partner it really makes you evaluate life.

Life IS worth living. He never got that chance

Also for ghostmouse that’s so sad to lose your husband, it sounds like you loved him very much.

Life is not that exciting - of course. We need to survive, that is our purpose if we enjoy a proportion of it great.

I feel slightly similar, no partner or DC
Sometimes I'm a bit "so I get up snd go to work to pay bills for a house that I'm never in apart from sleeping or cooking because I'm working" and it all feels a bit.. pointless
I think mine has been exacerbated by the loss of my hobby (horse riding) which was the sheer joy in my life and also shielding for so long

Where do you live op? I love my life. My job is not amazing, but I live in a great place where we work to live, not live to work. Life is good. Start looking around. Maybe you can make a change?

You're depressed, either situationally or chemically (or a combination of the two) and you need to see someone about it. Asking people if they like their job isn't going to help you.

(sorry, meant to add "probably" before "depressed as I obviously can't diagnose someone off of a mumsnet post).

I like my work, it's interesting and flexible (freelance translator).

Sorry OP, it's 1 for me too. I have crap times, but I have enough good days, when I feel lucky to be alive, that it's worth it.

I work for the NHS in a job which is stressful but rarely dull, I have two kids with ASD who have done so much better than we ever thought they would when they were first diagnosed, I have a smattering of really good friends who I love spending time with, and I have a DH who is one of my best friends.

I really don't look forward to retiring, but may go part time while I can.

Were you happier before? Young kids can take it out of you, but just watch out it doesn't slip into depression. Maybe have a look at what you actually like in life and try to go towards that more. And the usual things - exercise, good diet, helping others, positive people around you etc

I’m intrigued that you go to the dump every Sunday.

Try having your ability to work, livelihood and health taken away through an accident that wasn’t your fault. Think the health system and state will look after you well think again, think friends and family will rally around, they might for 6 months but there not there for multiple surgeries hundreds and hundreds of hospital appointments and decades of disability, pain, fatigue and depression as well as unfulfilled dreams, try that and think oh m jobs a bit tiresome