Men having kids in their 20's

[cloudywater]

I'm asking purely because I'm curious and being a bit nosy but from your experience would you say in today's world is it not that common for men to have children when they are in their 20s. I'm asking because I've noticed a lot of footballers seem to have children when they are young. I'm just wondering from your social circles how common is it for men to have kids before the age of 30?

My parents were in their early 20s when they had me. My DP and I are now in our mid-20s and I’m not sure how we’ll afford DC despite both working full time jobs

Definitely very rare or unheard of in my circle.

[quote ComeonJulia]@JinglingHellsBells saving £1500 a month between 2 people for 2 years is £36,000 which is a 10% deposit on a house at £360,000.
Ours and our friends first homes were all under £250,000.[/quote]
Saving around £750 each (approx) per month when you are only 19 implies you were either living at home rent-free, or renting somewhere very cheaply. But having £36K deposit doesn't mean someone can afford a mortgage of £324,000. That would require two very large incomes at 20 which is almost impossible unless in investment banking, law or footballer!

@ComeonJulia

@TedMullins
Well obviously people have different circumstances. But it’s about priorities. Most people finish their degrees at 21, so having a baby at say 28 surely isn’t something that’s so far out of reach? It’s not only those uneducated people who choose to stay local (a charming description btw), who could
potentially have children at an earlier age. Plenty of professionals could to IF they made it more of a priority.

So many men are pushing 50 now before they become dads, the average age just keeps going up and up, when will it end?

DH and I were in our 20s. Even now, with DC #4 we’re pretty much the youngest parents in her class. With DC #1 we were by an absolute mile.

You’re overegging it @JinglingHellsBells. A Rightmove search brings up numerous three bed flats in London for less than £300k. I’m an hour’s commute from central London and you can buy a 3 bed semi here for £250k.

A couple I know just out of their 20s have just bought a 4 bed for £450k which they managed by saving every penny, buying a starter home which made a profit and overpaying the mortgage on it. Not a footballer or investment banker in sight.

I think it's a shame that economics seem to be dictating the age at which people have their children.

My dad had his first child at 42 and I had the oldest dad in the school. I think it's a lot more normal now for dads to be in their 40s when their first child is born even though they are old enough to be grandads at this age 😂.

@Snog

I think it's a shame that economics seem to be dictating the age at which people have their children.

My dad had his first child at 42 and I had the oldest dad in the school. I think it's a lot more normal now for dads to be in their 40s when their first child is born even though they are old enough to be grandads at this age 😂.

That’s always been the case though - most people usually have kids when they can afford them.

In years gone by, fewer people went to university or had the chance to travel, and they didn’t live healthy lives for as long as we do now. 42 is less than half your lifespan (if you live in an affluent area - less sadly if you live in a deprived area), so for many university/career building/ travelling/saving for a house in a nice area all takes priority over children who will be in their 40s and 50s when their parents dies if they have children in their 30s and 40s. I’m 52 - I’m nowhere near ready to be a grandparent, I have a 14 year old son, a good job, and all going g well have many more working years ahead of me before I’m helping with babies and young children again! My elder DC in their 20s have loads they want to fo before they start having children.

@Snog

I think it's a shame that economics seem to be dictating the age at which people have their children.

My dad had his first child at 42 and I had the oldest dad in the school. I think it's a lot more normal now for dads to be in their 40s when their first child is born even though they are old enough to be grandads at this age 😂.

Why is it a shame? I didn't want children until I was in a place where I could adequately provide for them. It was a choice, not something forced upon me.

I'm 9 years older than OH and he was only 23 when we had our first, however most of his friends already had kids by that time. He says it's because he's from a council estate 🤣

Most of the people I went to school with became parents in their early 20s. Most of the people I went to uni with have become parents in their late 20s-mid 30s. My dp had his first child at 22, all of his family members had their first child between age 16 and 24, he has 3 brothers and 2 sisters. Most of his nieces and nephews have also become parents in their early 20s. Where we live most people seem to become parents in their mid-late 20s. I had our ds aged 31 and am one of the oldest parents at the school gates. I would say it's very common for men to become father's in their 20s.

@Neverrains what I mean is that it's a shame that a lot of people cannot afford a family house in their 20s and thus often delay having children when they ideally would have chosen to have children in their 20s.

Housing is a lot harder to afford for the average family and I do not view this as a positive thing.

[quote Snog]@Neverrains what I mean is that it's a shame that a lot of people cannot afford a family house in their 20s and thus often delay having children when they ideally would have chosen to have children in their 20s.

Housing is a lot harder to afford for the average family and I do not view this as a positive thing.[/quote]
Absolutely agree with you on the cost of housing and the difficulties faced by so many trying to get onto the property ladder - it’s obscene.

[quote Imapotato]@TedMullins
Well obviously people have different circumstances. But it’s about priorities. Most people finish their degrees at 21, so having a baby at say 28 surely isn’t something that’s so far out of reach? It’s not only those uneducated people who choose to stay local (a charming description btw), who could
potentially have children at an earlier age. Plenty of professionals could to IF they made it more of a priority.

So many men are pushing 50 now before they become dads, the average age just keeps going up and up, when will it end?[/quote]
Nowhere did I use the word uneducated, that’s entirely you projecting. What I’m saying is that for some people having kids isn’t a top priority over other things they’d rather do first. Then it might creep up their list of priorities as they get older. Not sure why that’s a difficult concept to grasp!

Also in the NE and most people I know that have children now had them in their early 30s

We were mid twenties with our first, he was 26 when our second was born, I was 27. He's a consultant with the NHS (so doing exams throughout his twenties) and I have a corporate job I got after my degree.

We're mid forties now so have adult kids as do most of our friends.

We live in the north of England and bought our first house twenty odd years ago when it was much easier.

I honestly think it depends where you live, I’m one of the older Mums at school and I’m only in my mid thirties.

In many areas of the country, it's impossible to own a house for under £250K and people need to work till they are 30+ to buy one
To flip that there are many area in the country, especially in the north west and north east you can buy a house in a reasonably area for around 120k even with one person working and on a 35 year mortgage it is easily affordable for adults in their 20s to afford this and have children. It is not uncommon where I live.
I have 2 colleagues that have had their 30 birthdays this year. One has children aged 10 and 6 and the other has children 6 and 4. Both have 4 bed detached new build houses in a decent part of town.
It is not unusual where I live at all.

Uncommon with people I know - I am mid twenties, I only know a few couples my age who have deliberately had children (they are outnumbered by those with surprise babies) and in each case the man is a couple of years older than the woman so late twenties at the youngest. I figured with premier league footballers they effectively accelerate their whole lives because they achieve peak career success at such a young age.

I don't know ow anyone that had a first child in 30s

Common in my social circle. My DH was 27 when we had our first, and all our friends were having DC then too.

@ShippingNews

Bogan is commonly used in Australia - I love the word ! It tells you everything you need to know about the person . Relaxed, unrefined, unsophisticated .

Does it bollocks mean that?

When people call someone a BOGAN over here in the UK, it means they're calling them a person of low social status, badly educated, hillybilly, white trash, chav.

It's a nasty word used by the most dreadful of people who think they're better than others.

People who think those who have children when they're in their 20s are 'chavs' - which is what a BOGAN is - well, it speaks volumes about them really, Rude, judgemental, obnoxious, and spiteful.

And for the record, I had MY children past the age of 30. So I am NOT 'projecting' as someone accused another poster of doing earlier... I just think this whole thread and the attitudes of some posters on it is plain fucking nasty.

[quote ComeonJulia]@JinglingHellsBells saving £1500 a month between 2 people for 2 years is £36,000 which is a 10% deposit on a house at £360,000.
Ours and our friends first homes were all under £250,000.[/quote]
You are not taking into account the affordability for mortgage purposes.
£360k house with a 10% deposit would still need a joint salary of around £80k to get a mortgage of £320k and only a 10% deposit wouldn’t give the best up interest rate deals either.
I live on the south coast £250k would buy a nice 2 bed flat but for even a small house you are looking at over £300k so it is hard even for couples to buy a house. My son is hoping to buy end of next year but he and his partner can only afford a flat. Probably only one bed with high service charges to be paid on top of the mortgage.

@AngryWhompingWillow you are SO right. I spent years at university, but I find that phrase disgusting and don't know anyone of any class who would use it. Shame on the poster who did.

@Tinpotspectator why does it matter that you spent years at university? Whether you like the phrase or not it is regularly used in both Australia and New Zealand. This can be offensively towards others, and viewed as classist (as @AngryWhompingWillow has identified) however, it is also widely used in a self depreciating manner.