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Original poster

Men having kids in their 20's

333 replies

cloudywater · 14/08/2021 12:07

I'm asking purely because I'm curious and being a bit nosy but from your experience would you say in today's world is it not that common for men to have children when they are in their 20s. I'm asking because I've noticed a lot of footballers seem to have children when they are young. I'm just wondering from your social circles how common is it for men to have kids before the age of 30?

OP posts:
idontlikealdi · 14/08/2021 13:46

No one in my social circle had kids in their 20s

Dandy0911 · 14/08/2021 13:49

Was pregnant at 25. DH was 27.

Both married when I was 25 and DH 26.

Member984815 · 14/08/2021 13:50

My husband and I had all of our children in our 20s as did some of our friends but I would say in general it's uncommon , going off the ages of the parents of our children's peers

MissDollyMix · 14/08/2021 13:52

I see these threads pop up all the time. So many generalisations and stereotypes from supposedly the ‘cultured’ and ‘middle-class’. But ironic really. No, it’s not unusual for a man to have children in his twenties. If some graduates at 21, that gives them potentially 8 or 9 years to develop a career, get a home etc. There’s nothing crazy or ‘feckless’ about that. My DH was 27 when we had our eldest. He is not a ‘bogan’ or ‘feckless’. He’s from a very big standard middle class family, has 3 degrees and works in a respected profession. I am also a graduate…even went to a private school. Most of our friends from similar backgrounds had children a couple of years after us so late twenties/early thirties. Pretty sure the difference between 29/31 is mostly semantics.

MissDollyMix · 14/08/2021 13:54

Sigh. So many typos in my post. Somewhat defeats my point. Perhaps if I’d had my children later I could have spent my twenties developing better proof reading skills Grin

5zeds · 14/08/2021 13:54

The more highly educated/middle class you are, the older you are starting a family. If you are uneducated and/working class, you start younger. So the opening question is kind of more “are you and your friends middle class or not?” I love the assumption that you both come from the same background!

TedMullins · 14/08/2021 13:55

Unheard of in my friendship group (London professionals). I only know one person with a kid - a 37 year old married woman with a three year old. My friends range from early/mid twenties to late 30s and some are single, some in relationships, most still renting with flatmates or their partner. In terms of my colleagues the ones who have kids are mid 30s+. It’s definitely a demographic thing. Thinking about it, the men I know tend to be single, while the women are in relationships but undecided about having kids. The only men I can think of who became fathers in their 20s are those I went to school with who had kids very young, starting in their teens. The people who stayed in my hometown after school and didn’t go to uni tend to be married with kids, the people who moved away on the whole don’t have them.

Mammyloveswine · 14/08/2021 13:58

I was 28 and DH 31 when we had our first a year after we got married... we are now 34 and 37 and DH reckons he would be too old to have a newborn now.

We were pretty much average within our friendship group.

amiwastingmytime · 14/08/2021 13:58

Very uncommon in my social circle. I gave a baby not at 30, my Dh was 32. We are almost the first ones.

I’m glad we waited. Now really feels like the right time

Applesonthelawn · 14/08/2021 13:58

I don't know anyone below about 65 who had kids in their 20's.

RavenclawsRoar · 14/08/2021 14:01

Most of our friends married around mid-20s, first homes around that time and children late-20s. DH and I were no exception. We are mid 30s now. Both my sisters' partners are in their 20s too with kids. So I don't think it's unusual for men to have kids in their 20s, no. We are all university educated and some of us went to private school if that matters (which I didn't think it did but I've seen a few class-based posts!).

AngryWhompingWillow · 14/08/2021 14:02

No it is NOT that unusual for men to become fathers in their 20s..., And the snobbery (from some on here,) around men AND women having children in their 20s, is repugnant.

This 'only lower class people/chavs have kids in their 20s' attitude that some people have on here makes me sick.

And the 'people in MY social circle ALL have children past the age of 35 because we are all middle class professionals' line that people come out with makes me roll my eyes into the back of my head.

I know middle class professionals who had their first child at 25-27, and working class NON-professionals who are in their 30s and have no children yet!

It doesn't mean you're a better person than someone who has their first child at 27, if YOU don't have your first child until you're fucking 40! Hmm

@cloudywater

What a silly, snooty, snobby thread. Hmm

SecondCityShark · 14/08/2021 14:02

Nobody in my circle, male or female, has had children in their twenties.

Very common in my group to have children in your mid to late thirties.

GalaxyGirl24 · 14/08/2021 14:03

My DH was 28 when DD was born, I was 27 a few of his friends already had kids.

AngryWhompingWillow · 14/08/2021 14:03

@Applesonthelawn

I don't know anyone below about 65 who had kids in their 20's.
Confused

You can't know many people then!

ItsSunnyOutside · 14/08/2021 14:03

Not common for both men and women in my circle of friends/ work colleagues. Usually early to mid 30's.

Many of my old school mates who stayed near home, started families in their 20's.

Boombadoom · 14/08/2021 14:04

Not uncommon.

Sorrycantreadtest · 14/08/2021 14:06

Dh was in his 30s when our dcs were born. DC 2 was mid 20s when his first DC was born. He and DIL have been together a long time and knowing that she had a health issue which could affect her ability to have children, they decided to try for their family sooner in case they needed medical intervention. Thankfully, all went well and we have a beautiful dgc. Education, class etc had nothing to do with their decision.

ISpyCobraKai · 14/08/2021 14:06

Dd's Dad was 24, Australian, and absolutely not Bogan!
We lived in Australia at the time, in a completely Bogan town, Kalgoorlie in WA, and lots of our friends at the time were completely aghast that we went to Byron Bay for Christmas!
It makes me laugh now.

woodhill · 14/08/2021 14:06

Dh and df were in their 20s with dcs as well.

miltonj · 14/08/2021 14:09

Having kids in your 20s doesn't make you a 'bogan'.

Working class people arnt necessarily rough and uneducated. Ffs I don't know why this still needs saying.

Iwantcauliflowercheese · 14/08/2021 14:09

Two of my children and all six of my grandchildren were born with fathers in their twenties. My DS was 22 and was a SAHD for three years. He has a good career now as has his wife. They were homeowners in their twenties too.

Men in this age group make good dads. They are adults.

crazyguineapiglady · 14/08/2021 14:16

I would say about half the parents in my 7 year old's class are in their 20s, and most of the parents of my preschoolers class are in their 20s.
Mostly working class families.

woodhill · 14/08/2021 14:17

@miltonj

Having kids in your 20s doesn't make you a 'bogan'.

Working class people arnt necessarily rough and uneducated. Ffs I don't know why this still needs saying.

My dsil has a degree as does my df
abcdeg · 14/08/2021 14:19

@AngryWhompingWillow

No it is NOT that unusual for men to become fathers in their 20s..., And the snobbery (from some on here,) around men AND women having children in their 20s, is repugnant.

This 'only lower class people/chavs have kids in their 20s' attitude that some people have on here makes me sick.

And the 'people in MY social circle ALL have children past the age of 35 because we are all middle class professionals' line that people come out with makes me roll my eyes into the back of my head.

I know middle class professionals who had their first child at 25-27, and working class NON-professionals who are in their 30s and have no children yet!

It doesn't mean you're a better person than someone who has their first child at 27, if YOU don't have your first child until you're fucking 40! Hmm

@cloudywater

What a silly, snooty, snobby thread. Hmm

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