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AIBU?

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Original poster

Men having kids in their 20's

333 replies

cloudywater · 14/08/2021 12:07

I'm asking purely because I'm curious and being a bit nosy but from your experience would you say in today's world is it not that common for men to have children when they are in their 20s. I'm asking because I've noticed a lot of footballers seem to have children when they are young. I'm just wondering from your social circles how common is it for men to have kids before the age of 30?

OP posts:
Rubyupbeat · 14/08/2021 13:26

My husband was 20 with our 1st, best dad.
That was 35 years ago, things different now, but age doesn't matter in making a good parent or not.

MouseholeCat · 14/08/2021 13:26

In my circle, it's uncommon for both men and women to have children in their 20's in equal measure. We're early 30's and people have just started having kids.

It does massively differ though. Among my husband's high school friends most started having kids between 25-28. But they are in the US.

sayanythingelse · 14/08/2021 13:28

DH was married at 22, first DC at 25 and second one due at 29.

I think it very much depends on where you live. We used to live in Leeds and the majority of our friends are only just getting married/having children in their 30's.
Now we live in the North East and it's common to have a baby before 20. In fact, DH is seen as some kind of father figure to the younger staff at work which he finds crazy as he's only 29 himself.

toocold54 · 14/08/2021 13:29

I think it’s very common for both males and females to have children in their 20s and I’d say 10+ years ago if you were 30 and hadn’t had children you were classed as older parents.

I guess this stigma is still attached to women who are often younger than their partners so if they have them in their 20s their partner would be in their 30s.

I would say now most people wait until late 20s/30s to have children.

YanTanTethera123 · 14/08/2021 13:29

It was pretty much the norm when we had our DCs in late 70’s/early 80’s!
I was 25, H 29.
I was considered an elderly primip 😳

manhattenrain · 14/08/2021 13:30

@MyPantsAreTooTight To be fair, most 'bogans' wouldn't actually care if they were called that. A lot of Australians are very laid back and will consider themselves to be a bit of a bogan. I do get your point though.

Ponoka7 · 14/08/2021 13:30

I live in Liverpool. You can buy houses in your 20's. My youngest DD, works in the service industry, is buying one at 24. The young women who I know who are shop workers, hairdressers etc own their own homes. They've had the advantage of living with family while saving a deposit. I know lots of parents in their 20's. I know decent earners who did skills based training, rather than University. Someone said working class thicko = plumber. They've obviously never paid for plumbing.

CBroads · 14/08/2021 13:30

There's none in my social circle (we're all around 25 years old). I think that people these days would rather be able to go out and have a good time etc. They want to live their lives before they're completely tied down.

Anon778833 · 14/08/2021 13:30

@Guineapigbridge

Footballers have kids young because (1) they can afford it and (2) they're bogans.
So people who have kids young and all dumb & unsophisticated?
cookiecreampie · 14/08/2021 13:30

I think it's quite common. Most people I know in their mid to late 20s have kids. I know a few that had their first ages around 18/19.

starbrightstarlight8888 · 14/08/2021 13:31

My ds' dad was 24 when ds was born.

Ponoka7 · 14/08/2021 13:33

"To be fair, most 'bogans' wouldn't actually care if they were called that. "

But the poster wasn't calling Australians that. She was insulting all football players.

Why would you do university when you can earn £1 million minimum a year?

manhattenrain · 14/08/2021 13:33

Some people would rather have a family young then to have a big house, nice car ect. Nothing wrong with that.

chocolateoranges33 · 14/08/2021 13:34

My DH was 28, 29 & 41 - all of them with me. I was 23, 24 & 37.

MonsterJammin · 14/08/2021 13:34

DH and I were the youngest in our friendship group at just turned 28 when DC1 arrived, although we'd had 4 mc before this so could have been 26. The rest were just turned 30 so not much older. I'd say we look amongst the youngest parents at the school gates for our eldest so it may well be quite uncommon nowadays.

We met at uni, bought out first home as soon as we started our grad roles and got married at 25 after we'd passed all our professional exams so we couldn't have had DC much earlier than we did.

manhattenrain · 14/08/2021 13:35

@Ponoka7

"To be fair, most 'bogans' wouldn't actually care if they were called that. "

But the poster wasn't calling Australians that. She was insulting all football players.

Why would you do university when you can earn £1 million minimum a year?

Oh sorry. I didn't see that post just the ones asking what it meant.
ParkheadParadise · 14/08/2021 13:36

I think that's a normal age to have children.
Several of my nephews all in their 20's have children.

JellyNellie · 14/08/2021 13:38

I'm 25 all my friends have there own houses and we all have children I've 4 🤦🏻‍♀️

JinglingHellsBells · 14/08/2021 13:39

It's been the same for decades.

The very rich and the very poor tend to have kids early.
The rich already have homes and money, the poor often claim benefits or social housing, or live with their own parents.

The group in the middle are working on a career, saving for a home, and delaying having a family till they are nearly 30 or older.

IncludeWomenInThePrequel · 14/08/2021 13:40

@Guineapigbridge

Footballers have kids young because (1) they can afford it and (2) they're bogans.
Well that's classy.
JinglingHellsBells · 14/08/2021 13:41

@JellyNellie

I'm 25 all my friends have there own houses and we all have children I've 4 🤦🏻‍♀️
So did you and your partner have any higher education, and do you live where housing is very cheap?

In many areas of the country, it's impossible to own a house for under £250K and people need to work till they are 30+ to buy one.

Goldenbear · 14/08/2021 13:41

Not usual in our social circle, DH was 25 when our first DC was born, he is a Director at an Architect's practice and many colleagues or clients are surprised he has a 14 year old at 39! Even amongst our friends, my youngest DC has parents 10 years + older than us. DH's friends all have babies toddlers.

ThistlesAndUnicorns · 14/08/2021 13:43

@astoundedgoat

Is this not a tiny bit disingenuous? The more highly educated/middle class you are, the older you are starting a family. If you are uneducated and/working class, you start younger. So the opening question is kind of more “are you and your friends middle class or not?”
I have a law degree from a top university and had my first at 19 so this is a bit of a sweeping generalisation.
Goldenbear · 14/08/2021 13:43

We are in south east and the norm for school gates seems more like starting mid 30's or early 40s.

JinglingHellsBells · 14/08/2021 13:45

I have a law degree from a top university and had my first at 19 so this is a bit of a sweeping generalisation.

That's confusing. Did you have a child at the same time as doing your degree? Or were you a mature student with a child?