Men having kids in their 20's

[cloudywater]

I'm asking purely because I'm curious and being a bit nosy but from your experience would you say in today's world is it not that common for men to have children when they are in their 20s. I'm asking because I've noticed a lot of footballers seem to have children when they are young. I'm just wondering from your social circles how common is it for men to have kids before the age of 30?

DH was 28 I was in 30s

Where I live it's extremely uncommon. We have 4 children and my Husband was aged 17-26 when they were born and was/is considered a 'young Dad' with all of them!

Lol at recent posts

I'm highly educated and DH is a bogan then

DB had all 4 of his in his 20s

Not common now, was when I was young.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Hirples

It's not just about being family focussed, it's often simply money. Many men (and women) just can't afford a family property or either time off work/childcare to have a child until their thirties.

We are lucky that council houses are much easier to get round here than in many other areas. Ds1 was in private rented when he had his first, and council for his second, DS2 still at home, then private rent, now moving into a three bed end terrace council place with his DP and two kids, aged 31.

Completely normal where I am. If you have your first in your 30’s it’s assumed there were fertility problems.

Also, having kids before you’re 30 doesn’t make you uneducated ffs. I had my first at 20 and I have a degree and own 2 properties.

@astoundedgoat

Is this not a tiny bit disingenuous? The more highly educated/middle class you are, the older you are starting a family. If you are uneducated and/working class, you start younger. So the opening question is kind of more “are you and your friends middle class or not?”

Virtually all of the parents I know are highly educated and fairly wealthy, most of them became parents in their 20’s.

Wow just read a lot of rude comments. Homeowners and graduates thanks

Not uncommon for us either. DH was 25 when our first was born. He is educated to masters level, can speak four languages fluently and worked in a diplomatic role. Definitely not “bogan”.

I was 23 and DH was 25. He works for a hedge fund and I am a senior civil servant. We are 31 and 33 now with 3 kids.

It was very early in our friendship group, but a few had kids a couple of year later, mostly people who never left our home town (rural).

DH was 29 when our eldest was born (I was 30) and he was by far the youngest in our social circle. Most have had children in their mid 30’s. A couple just having their first around now, late 30’s.

@TracyLords

What is a Bogan?

An Australian derogatory term equivalent to the US redneck or UK chav.

A word used by middle class clever dicks on here to still call those they perceive as beneath them chav without Mumsnet deleting their post or the entire thread if used to often by different posters.

Different word, same shitty entitled attitude informing it's usage.

No, bogan isn't a derogatory word for indigenous Australians. It's a bit like 'chav'. You'd be forgiven for thinking search engines didn't exist going by this site.

@DemBonesDemBones I don't think it's rude to object to being called "bogan" or lower class for having children in our 20s?

@MiaAnnabell3 I agree completely-I was objecting to the same!

I was 28 when I had dd, 32 now and still the only one of my friend group to have had a baby. Very rare for men I know to have kids in their 20s. If they did it was usually not planned.

And with one word, a whole thread crashes of the rails. This site is bonkers. How do people here interact with people in real life when the matter in hand is jettisoned and people go charging off after any hare they see out of the corner of their eye. Work must be almost impossible.

My partner was 23 when our first child was born and 28 when we had our second. Male family/friends were mostly mid 20s to early 30s for their first, with a few having them later into their 40s.
Looking back 23 seems quite young but we both had good careers and we had bought a house a year or so before I got pregnant and we felt ready. We’re 40 ish now and the kids are pretty independent which is nice.

Very few of the males in our circle had their DC in the twenties - or if they did they tended to be divorced/separated and having second families in their thirties and forties. DS1 and DD are in the twenties now - again, none of their make friends are having DC.

@DemBonesDemBones

Ah yes I see 😊

Out of my nephews who have children, 7 out of 9 had their first when in their 20s. The other two were 32 and 37. I also have a few male cousins who all had at least one child before 30. So I'd say it's reasonably common, although my DH was 33 when our first was born.

Footballers tend to have kids young, cheat on their wives and stuff the whole thing up.

I think a lot of it is linked to class partly because the middle class trend for a-levels, uni, postgraduate studies, (gap years?) professional work placements in fields like law and accounting mean that you’re typically past 25 before you’ve even qualified in a field. Then the desire to own your own home / the expectation you will. Contrast this with someone leaving school, doing a practical apprenticeship and working/earning (potentially quite well!) by early 20s. I don’t think it’s “middle class kids become lawyers, working class thickos become plumbers” but I think there’s a typical trajectory to consider in some cases.

Work must be almost impossible.
It's doable if you go part time