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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to use her ticket

150 replies

Ticketchancer · 13/08/2021 16:40

Name change for this:

My friend and I booked an activity to take our children to back in the spring. (I booked the tickets and she sent me the money for her and her DC). The place doesn’t offer refunds but you can move your tickets to other days if needed- since originally booked it’s been moved (by me calling) twice:
First because she didn’t want to go in bad weather (didn’t bother me especially)
Second because her child wasn’t well

We are due to go tomorrow but she informed me last wk her DCs best friend is having a bday and so she can’t come. She offered to call and move the tickets (we haven’t agreed a date) but hasn’t yet (she has the info)- I really cannot be bothered to reschedule yet again, and at this point I think she’s resigned to losing the tickets as hasn’t been in contact.
Would I be unreasonable to use her ticket for my husband so we go as a family?

OP posts:
WildfirePonie · 13/08/2021 19:30

Keep your ticket and buy 1 adult ticket.

Leave hers. And let it go to waste because she didn't bother to reschedule it.

Original poster
Ticketchancer · 13/08/2021 19:34

@WildfirePonie

Keep your ticket and buy 1 adult ticket.

Leave hers. And let it go to waste because she didn't bother to reschedule it.

Sadly can’t all sold out
OP posts:
Original poster
Ticketchancer · 13/08/2021 19:35

@Derbee

It’s fine not to reschedule, if you pay her for the ticket you use for your husband.

But you don’t seem to want to refund her, which is pretty bad form

I know but I am really pissed off as we’ve had to reschedule constantly for her and I’ve been the one to call and sort
OP posts:
Alpenguin · 13/08/2021 19:38

Being pissed off doesn’t justify using her ticket paid for with her money without providing remuneration for it.

SuperSketchy · 13/08/2021 19:39

Yes, a friend pissing you off doesn't mean you can take her property.

DelphiniumTea · 13/08/2021 19:40

Why should I send the money back?

Because she paid for it and still wants to go. I find it hard to believe anyone would think it ok not to pay her if your husband uses it.

Original poster
Ticketchancer · 13/08/2021 19:40

I’m not using her ticket without offering to pay for it

OP posts:
TabithaTiger · 13/08/2021 19:41

How much did the tickets cost?

burnoutbabe · 13/08/2021 19:48

If she says she had not rearranged then you have to go tomorrow or lose yourself money.

So I'd say to her that it's annoying she didn't re-arrange so now you will have to attend tomorrow or does she want to re-invites you? Then as an afterthought say is it okay if husband uses other ticket as else that would go to waste. She's very tight if she says no he can't go, she prefers it to be wasted.

PrincessNutella · 13/08/2021 19:49

I agree with the OP. They booked the tickets so they could go together. OP took the initiative to make arrangements to change the arrangement several times. The friend was too lazy to make the change. It is no fun to go by yourself--that breaks the contract. I might ask the friend if she was intending to go the next day, though.

Dontwatchfootball · 13/08/2021 19:54

She offered to reschedule so clearly wants to use it. If you do, you need to pay her for it.

Original poster
Ticketchancer · 13/08/2021 20:06

@TabithaTiger

How much did the tickets cost?
Her set was c. £30
OP posts:
Original poster
Ticketchancer · 13/08/2021 20:06

@Dontwatchfootball

She offered to reschedule so clearly wants to use it. If you do, you need to pay her for it.
But she didn’t rearrange or attempt to ie. didn’t ask me about new dates
OP posts:
SD1978 · 13/08/2021 20:09

Whether she goes or not, it's her ticket she's paid for. Using it for your husband so it doesn't go to waste isn't your place to do so. If she fails to rebook, which sounds likely, then you offer the money for the ticket if you want him to use it, you don't just assume she's ok with it.

SuperSketchy · 13/08/2021 20:09

I'm a bit confused about what you want from this thread op. You said you aren't going to use the ticket without paying. So, are you going to ask her if you can use / buy it? Unless money is very tight, I imagine she'll be fine with your DH using it.

Do you want something else though? For people to say she's a sucky friend to you? Yes, I think she is. Don't arrange any more days out with her and move on, would be my advice Smile

NoSquirrels · 13/08/2021 20:10

Just message her and say you want to go tomorrow with your husband and son, unless she’s already rearranged the dates.

Original poster
Ticketchancer · 13/08/2021 20:18

Well she’s accepting the money for the ticket

OP posts:
SuperSketchy · 13/08/2021 20:19

Well for the princely sum of £20 or whatever you're off the hook from either going alone or going with a sucky friend. Sounds like a bargain to me! Hope you all have a lovely time.

dannygoat · 13/08/2021 20:59

I would use the spare ticket for your husband and not mention it to her! She's rescheduled twice and is now letting you down a 3rd time, leaving you to go on your own which isn't the day out you booked!

Your not stealing her ticket, she doesn't want to use it and your husband would only be going because she's let you down again!

You are getting a hard time here op!

Sally872 · 13/08/2021 21:23

I can't believe she is accepting g money l for the ticket!!!!

She was rude to cancel for another offer, especially as rescheduled twice already. She should be glad she wasn't holding you back.

I would distance myself from her. She is not sorry or bothered she cancelled for a 3rd time.

Original poster
Ticketchancer · 13/08/2021 21:26

Thanks for the last more understanding messages, the way I saw it was I wouldn’t have booked had it not been for the play date element, the options I was left with was to
Cancel
Go alone
Or pay for the xtra ticket
None were my choice or preference but hey chalk it up to experience and distance myself from the petty tightness of the friend

OP posts:
HunterHearstHelmsley · 13/08/2021 21:31

I'm not sure why you'd pay her for her ticket. Message her to see what her plans are, if she's not coming and hasn't rearranged then just use the adult ticket. If she expects renumeration then offer her half for the adult ticket. You could just buy a full price ticket otherwise then she'd be out of pocket more.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 13/08/2021 21:33

Just seen its sold out (that will teach me not to read the full thread!)

Ask her if she's coming, if the answer is no then use it.

muchtoomuchtime · 13/08/2021 21:47

OP if I was your friend and cancelling on you for the third time I would be glad that you had someone to go with. I would offer the tickets rather than ask you to wait until another date yet again.

phishy · 13/08/2021 21:59

Use the tickets and if she asks to go another day, just say you’ve already been now.

If she mentions the tickets, reimburse hers if you used them. If you didn’t use them, let her sort the date change.

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