Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to use her ticket

150 replies

Ticketchancer · 13/08/2021 16:40

Name change for this:

My friend and I booked an activity to take our children to back in the spring. (I booked the tickets and she sent me the money for her and her DC). The place doesn’t offer refunds but you can move your tickets to other days if needed- since originally booked it’s been moved (by me calling) twice:
First because she didn’t want to go in bad weather (didn’t bother me especially)
Second because her child wasn’t well

We are due to go tomorrow but she informed me last wk her DCs best friend is having a bday and so she can’t come. She offered to call and move the tickets (we haven’t agreed a date) but hasn’t yet (she has the info)- I really cannot be bothered to reschedule yet again, and at this point I think she’s resigned to losing the tickets as hasn’t been in contact.
Would I be unreasonable to use her ticket for my husband so we go as a family?

OP posts:
Blossomtoes · 13/08/2021 18:16

Not in the slightest unreasonable as long as you return her money.

CoNiOff · 13/08/2021 18:17

By using the adult ticket, OP is stopping her friend from using the child's ticket, so in my opinion should pay for both.

JaffaRaf · 13/08/2021 18:19

Just pay for her half of the ticket, offering to pay for just the adult half of half of a family ticket is incredibly petty. You arnt entitled to something she’s paid for just because you don’t want to rearrange again.

Imnothereforthedrama · 13/08/2021 18:20

Yeah you need to ask her op and offer her the money she may say it’s fine but of course you should offer . She paid for the ticket so why should she be out of pocket because you want to use it for your dh .

Teaandtoastedbiscuits · 13/08/2021 18:21

Just tell her that you are going as you have been looking forward to going. Your husband is going to go with you and can buy her ticket or will buy another himself

Herecomesthesun70 · 13/08/2021 18:29

For all those saying OP would be stealing the ticket. If the friend hasn't rearranged then the friend has lost OPs money by not rearranging it
Is that stealing too ?

StarDrawers · 13/08/2021 18:31

@Herecomesthesun70

For all those saying OP would be stealing the ticket. If the friend hasn't rearranged then the friend has lost OPs money by not rearranging it Is that stealing too ?
No as OP still has ability to use ticket if she asks for it.
MeridianB · 13/08/2021 18:32

Use the tickets, let her know, pay her back and leave it with her to suggest rebooking.

I wouldn’t be in a hurry to book anything with her again, no matter who was paying up front. She sounds super flakey.

Herecomesthesun70 · 13/08/2021 18:34

Star
But friend clearly hasn't rearranged it as OP would have been told by now

Eviethyme · 13/08/2021 18:46

She bought the ticket. Its her ticket. Whether its refundable or not, its her ticket to lose not yours. So I would mention to her that if she doesn't reschedule then she will lose that money

Eviethyme · 13/08/2021 18:47

I would say if it still isn't rescheduled by the time she would lose it then I would use the ticket as she would have lost that ticket anyway

JaffaRaf · 13/08/2021 18:47

@Herecomesthesun70

For all those saying OP would be stealing the ticket. If the friend hasn't rearranged then the friend has lost OPs money by not rearranging it Is that stealing too ?
I wouldn’t say it’s stealing but I would expect them to buy a new ticket to replace it. Of course it wouldn’t be ok to just let the OP loose their money because they’ve not bothered to rearrange.
SuperSketchy · 13/08/2021 18:49

@Eviethyme

She bought the ticket. Its her ticket. Whether its refundable or not, its her ticket to lose not yours. So I would mention to her that if she doesn't reschedule then she will lose that money
Yes, this is what I think.

If, for some odd reason, she wants to buy hundreds of tickets and lose the money, that doesn't mean people can just take her tickets without asking. Her ticket, her business.

Op, have you tried to contact her yet?

NumberTheory · 13/08/2021 18:53

@Ticketchancer

To clarify all the tickets are on the same booking ref not sure she could split the tickets out- maybe she could
I think this does make things a bit different. So if you use your tickets tomorrow she’s lost her money anyway?

I don’t think you would be unreasonable, given all the back and forth so far, to use your tickets despite the fact it would mean she can’t rearrange (especially since it seems like she isn’t going to rearrange and so is risking you losing the money you spent). In this situation, your DH using her adult ticket or not makes no difference to her, she loses her money anyway, so I see your logic.

Nevertheless, if you value the friendship, if you take your DH you should offer her the money for her adult ticket. If she has any grace she’ll refuse the money. She doesn’t sound like a particularly thoughtful friend and I can see why you’re frustrated with her. But be the bigger person.

NumberTheory · 13/08/2021 18:53

*Be the bigger person, not But the bigger person!

illuyankas · 13/08/2021 18:56

Sounds like you are hoping she won't contact you so you can use her ticket for your dh.
She may have forgotten. someone might have been ill. It's easy to check what's going on by asking her, but you left it until last minute.
Call her and ask her if she has changed, if not, ask her if she's going, if not offer the money so you can take dh. Simple.

Jerseygirl12 · 13/08/2021 18:59

Go and use your and your DC’s tickets and that’s it.

Original poster
Ticketchancer · 13/08/2021 19:00

@Herecomesthesun70

Star But friend clearly hasn't rearranged it as OP would have been told by now
I’ve logged in to the activity it is still saying for tomorrow. If I didn’t go I’d loose my money as she hasn’t bothered to reschedule it, I didn’t book it to go on my own- I will offer to pay for her adult ticket as yes it is her ticket (no idea why I would offer to pay for her DC or bizarrely “half” as suggested), but I really will be fucked off if she takes the money considering the cancellations and inability to reschedule are both down to her.
OP posts:
Original poster
Ticketchancer · 13/08/2021 19:01

@illuyankas

Sounds like you are hoping she won't contact you so you can use her ticket for your dh. She may have forgotten. someone might have been ill. It's easy to check what's going on by asking her, but you left it until last minute. Call her and ask her if she has changed, if not, ask her if she's going, if not offer the money so you can take dh. Simple.
No I would have been happy for her to reschedule it, i just wasn’t going to run round to check, I did the calling etc the last two times.
OP posts:
illuyankas · 13/08/2021 19:05

Only thing you needed to do was text her to ask if she has rescheduled or not. Not that difficult, imo.

HeckyPeck · 13/08/2021 19:07

I would message her and say something along the lines of "I've checked the booking and it doesn't look like you have rearranged? We'll lose our money if we don't go tomorrow, so I'm going to go still. Let me know by x time if you still want to. If you don't go, you won't get a refund."

Then I'd go and not even mention DH going. Up to you if you use hers or buy another one for him.

Hopefully she'll learn to stop cancelling on her friends for crap reasons if she loses money.

ThinWomansBrain · 13/08/2021 19:07

@Ponoka7

She wanted to reschedule, so it was up to her to rebook it. Text her after the lines have closed asking her what alternative date she booked. Then go if she didn't.
do this - child being ill sounds a pain - but other than that it doesn't sound as if she is keen to go.
diddl · 13/08/2021 19:09

Ask her when she's rebooked for.

If she hasn't then you'll have to go tomorrow so ask if you can buy her ticket for your husband.

Or if you can buy a ticket without prebooking just go with your husband & buy a ticket on arrival.

SuperSketchy · 13/08/2021 19:10

@HeckyPeck

I would message her and say something along the lines of "I've checked the booking and it doesn't look like you have rearranged? We'll lose our money if we don't go tomorrow, so I'm going to go still. Let me know by x time if you still want to. If you don't go, you won't get a refund."

Then I'd go and not even mention DH going. Up to you if you use hers or buy another one for him.

Hopefully she'll learn to stop cancelling on her friends for crap reasons if she loses money.

Nah, don't do that. If it gets back to her, it looks very tacky and she doesn't sound like the most considerate of people. Those are often the people who kick off the worst if they feel wronged!

I'd take the high ground.

Derbee · 13/08/2021 19:27

It’s fine not to reschedule, if you pay her for the ticket you use for your husband.

But you don’t seem to want to refund her, which is pretty bad form

Swipe left for the next trending thread