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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to use her ticket

150 replies

Ticketchancer · 13/08/2021 16:40

Name change for this:

My friend and I booked an activity to take our children to back in the spring. (I booked the tickets and she sent me the money for her and her DC). The place doesn’t offer refunds but you can move your tickets to other days if needed- since originally booked it’s been moved (by me calling) twice:
First because she didn’t want to go in bad weather (didn’t bother me especially)
Second because her child wasn’t well

We are due to go tomorrow but she informed me last wk her DCs best friend is having a bday and so she can’t come. She offered to call and move the tickets (we haven’t agreed a date) but hasn’t yet (she has the info)- I really cannot be bothered to reschedule yet again, and at this point I think she’s resigned to losing the tickets as hasn’t been in contact.
Would I be unreasonable to use her ticket for my husband so we go as a family?

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 13/08/2021 17:08

Why should I send the money back?

Errrr... because she paid for it and if your DH uses it she won't be able to Confused

mummabubs · 13/08/2021 17:08

I'd definitely feel frustrated at the rescheduling and this looks like it's going to be better for you to go as a family rather than with her... But you do 100% need to give her the money for the ticket. I'd say this anyway as it's legally her ticket and that's the basic decent thing to do as a friend/ human being, but also she's said she wanted to reschedule which implies she'd still want to try and use it.

alltheemptyfields · 13/08/2021 17:08

Of course you need to refund her ticket

icedcoffees · 13/08/2021 17:10

Why should I send the money back?

Are you really asking that?

She paid for a ticket! You have to give her her money back. You can't just get a free ticket for your husband because she can't make it Hmm

Marmitemarinaded · 13/08/2021 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Marmitemarinaded · 13/08/2021 17:12

Name change for this

Too right
You should be ashamed!

SuperSketchy · 13/08/2021 17:14

I think you have to pay for it if you use it. But yeah, I'd use it. She might say she doesn't mind not having the money back tbh, but it doesn't sound as if you have that sort of friendship?

MuddyStiletto · 13/08/2021 17:18

Apt name OP
'why should I send the money back?' hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah, cracking start to the weekend

MissCruellaDeVil · 13/08/2021 17:19

*Why should I send the money back?
*
Are you serious, she paid for it!

Kite22 · 13/08/2021 17:19

I suspect most people are voting on the assumption your dh will give her the money for the ticket he will use that she originally paid for.

Your post at 16:50 implies you might be asking a different question from what I suspect most of us have answered.

My 'YANBU' was "not unreasonable for your dh to go with you and give her the money he would otherwise have spent at the gate" not "use the ticket your friend paid for without giving her anything"

StarDrawers · 13/08/2021 17:22

Why should I send the money back? becuase she paid for it!

piglet81 · 13/08/2021 17:23

This is definitely going in a newspaper... Grin

For the record op, you should definitely transfer the money back to your friend. But you should also make use of the booking.

StarDrawers · 13/08/2021 17:23

You're not much of a friend

TakeYourFinalPosition · 13/08/2021 17:23

YANBU to go tomorrow.

YWBU not to refund her ticket, or at least offer to.

Mudandrain · 13/08/2021 17:25

You have to pay her back.... It's her money.

Crowtooyo · 13/08/2021 17:26

Of course you can use her ticket, just send her the money for it first.

Original poster
Ticketchancer · 13/08/2021 17:27

Ok so if I go tomorrow without my husband then that’s fine?

I do see the point I guess I’m pissed off because she’s moved it several times and essentially bumped me for better plans. No idea why she didn’t reschedule she had everything to do so.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 13/08/2021 17:29

Yes, use the ticket on the day it’s booked for (otherwise it’s a waste) but if she’s a friend, I’d definitely offer her the money.

Perhaps she’ll say don’t worry about it. But you should offer to pay to use it.

HideousKinky · 13/08/2021 17:31

You should offer her the money back. She may refuse, but you should certainly offer.

spongedod · 13/08/2021 17:33

@Ticketchancer

Ok so if I go tomorrow without my husband then that’s fine?

I do see the point I guess I’m pissed off because she’s moved it several times and essentially bumped me for better plans. No idea why she didn’t reschedule she had everything to do so.

Its fine either way so long as she changes her ticket
Herecomesthesun70 · 13/08/2021 17:34

I'd message and ask her what date she rearranged for. If she hasn't done it she's lost her ticket now anyway. She might suggest taking someone else anyway

Original poster
Ticketchancer · 13/08/2021 17:37

Ok so here’s the next question- do I message and say can I buy the adult ticket? I don’t want to pay for her dc ticket as I don’t need it?

OP posts:
Gooseberrypies · 13/08/2021 17:39

@Ticketchancer

Ok so if I go tomorrow without my husband then that’s fine?

I do see the point I guess I’m pissed off because she’s moved it several times and essentially bumped me for better plans. No idea why she didn’t reschedule she had everything to do so.

Unless it was really expensive I wouldn't be paying her back for her ticket either. She's the one who has chosen not to go, she knows that she does that and doesn't reschedule then she's lost the money anyway. Message her after the phone line has closed and ask what date she has changed to. Bet she hasn't (I used to have flaky friends like this who wouldn't let me know they couldn't make things until it was too late, not turn up or bump me for better plans), and she won't be going now, so no point wasting the ticket she's obviously happy to lose the money if she hasn't made the effort to change it.
Reallyreallyborednow · 13/08/2021 17:40

I suspect most people are voting on the assumption your dh will give her the money for the ticket he will use that she originally paid for

I think the assumption is if she doesn’t rearrange, which she hasn’t, and the tickets are booked for tomorrow, she will lose her ticket anyway.

She’s lost the money regardless. If o/p’s dh wants to go, then morally they should buy the ticket off her. If he doesn’t, and would rather not go if the friend insisted on a refund, then the ticket would be wasted.

Gooseberrypies · 13/08/2021 17:40

@Ticketchancer

Ok so here’s the next question- do I message and say can I buy the adult ticket? I don’t want to pay for her dc ticket as I don’t need it?
No, don't even mention buying it, just ask what date she has changed to (as you 'might' change yours too)