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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to use my neighbour's washing machine?

148 replies

kumquat365 · 13/08/2021 15:11

My NDN and I get on well and have had keys to each other's homes for years. I used to regularly look after her cat (now sadly gone to the great cattery in the catosphere) so was in and out while she wasn't at home. When she was having noisy building work done a couple of years ago she'd escape to my place during the day when I was out at work. If I've ever wanted to borrow something and she hasn't been around I've phoned her and she's said 'There's no need to ask, just let yourself in.' I say the same thing to her.

My washing machine died on Wednesday and I have guests coming to stay tomorrow. I thought I'd found a local company who could replace the machine today but that hasn't worked out. I need to do a couple of loads of washing.

I haven't seen NDN for a day or two and she's not responding to calls or texts. The neighbours across the street think she's on holiday for a few days — possibly abroad.

AIBU to nip in a do a couple of loads of washing? I will leave a bottle of wine and a note and make sure I use my own power etc.

OP posts:
JosephineDeBeauharnais · 13/08/2021 15:12

How are you going to use your own power? What do you mean?

Notimeforaname · 13/08/2021 15:13

Send her a message first explaining what you're doing ..sounds fine if that's how you usually are with each other.

Notimeforaname · 13/08/2021 15:13

I think she meant powder

phishy · 13/08/2021 15:13

I’d be fine with this.

Original poster
kumquat365 · 13/08/2021 15:13

@JosephineDeBeauharnais

How are you going to use your own power? What do you mean?
Powder!
OP posts:
SpacePug · 13/08/2021 15:14

I think it would be fine, she's said herself you don't need to ask to go in, and you wouldn't mind if she did the same at your house. So I can't see a problem with it, leave her a note to let her know. I'd maybe text her too so even if she can't take a call she'll pick up the text at some point

phishy · 13/08/2021 15:14

Just don’t overload her machine and give it a break between loads!

Muststopeating · 13/08/2021 15:14

@JosephineDeBeauharnais

How are you going to use your own power? What do you mean?
Think she means powder... as in detergent.
LagneyandCasey · 13/08/2021 15:16

If you were feeding the cats this time then yes I think it would be OK. However she's not expecting you to enter her house so I wouldn't.

Original poster
kumquat365 · 13/08/2021 15:16

@Notimeforaname

Send her a message first explaining what you're doing ..sounds fine if that's how you usually are with each other.
I've already texted, What's Appd her and PMd, without response. But you're right, if I were to say now that I hope she's okay and that I'm going to go and do a wash at 6pm unless she'd prefer me not to, then that feels a bit less CF-ish.
OP posts:
Lumpwoody · 13/08/2021 15:17

I wouldn’t. Because she’s not expecting you to go into her house. Is there a local laundrette you can use?

CookPassBabtridge · 13/08/2021 15:18

Yes I would, it sounds like she'd be totally fine with it and would probably be annoyed if you didn't do it.

sunglassesonthetable · 13/08/2021 15:19

I think it sounds like you have the right sort of relationship for this .

Disfordarkchocolate · 13/08/2021 15:22

From the sound of your relationship that would be fine. It will be lovely to come to a nice bottle of wine.

vivainsomnia · 13/08/2021 15:27

Did she open the whatsapps? If yes, it's odd she is not responding and maybe she is offended. I wouldn't use the machine.

If she hasn't opened them, I'd just send another one saying that you've been told she was on holiday and so probably can't see the message, so you'll go ahead and use the machine, taking great care, and assume it's not a problem for her.

ShinyMe · 13/08/2021 15:28

It sounds like you know her well enough to do it - imagine if you didn't, and when she gets back and finds out your machine broke and you ended up in a launderette - would she be all "omg you fool! Why didn't you just use mine??" I bet she would.

Clymene · 13/08/2021 15:29

I would totally be fine if you did this

TootTootTootToot · 13/08/2021 15:31

I would be ok with this in your situation. Maybe do a
Short wash.

olympicsrock · 13/08/2021 15:33

In the relationship you have described it sounds like she would say - of course no problem . Glad you were able to

notanothertakeaway · 13/08/2021 15:33

I think it's cheeky to use someone's house when they're not expecting it. Better to ask your guest to bring their own sheets

LaBellina · 13/08/2021 15:33

I wouldn’t mind this at all if you were my neighbor. I just hope she didn’t leave the house looking like a complete state and she (secretly) feels embarrassed you saw this as you went inside. But other then that I don’t think she’d mind.

LookItsMeAgain · 13/08/2021 15:33

As you haven't been able to make contact with her and no one has seen her in a few days, you could knock on the door, ring the doorbell and then when you don't get an answer (which I'm guessing you won't), you could let yourself in to do a check on her. If she isn't there (and you're definitely 100% sure she isn't there) then pop on a quick wash. I really don't think she would mind (based on what you've already said about her in your earlier post).

cervixuser · 13/08/2021 15:33

I'd have no problem with this - I'd probably be more offended if you used a launderette when I have a machine next door doing nothing

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 13/08/2021 15:34

@phishy

Just don’t overload her machine and give it a break between loads!
What do you mean give it a break? A washing machine doesn't get tired does it Confused
AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit · 13/08/2021 15:35

If it's that close a relationship I'd be fine with it x