AIBU to use my neighbour's washing machine?

[kumquat365]

My NDN and I get on well and have had keys to each other's homes for years. I used to regularly look after her cat (now sadly gone to the great cattery in the catosphere) so was in and out while she wasn't at home. When she was having noisy building work done a couple of years ago she'd escape to my place during the day when I was out at work. If I've ever wanted to borrow something and she hasn't been around I've phoned her and she's said 'There's no need to ask, just let yourself in.' I say the same thing to her.

My washing machine died on Wednesday and I have guests coming to stay tomorrow. I thought I'd found a local company who could replace the machine today but that hasn't worked out. I need to do a couple of loads of washing.

I haven't seen NDN for a day or two and she's not responding to calls or texts. The neighbours across the street think she's on holiday for a few days — possibly abroad.

AIBU to nip in a do a couple of loads of washing? I will leave a bottle of wine and a note and make sure I use my own power etc.

I'd go in to made sure she isn't dead !?

You sound close but then not very close if you don't know she has gone away!

I woudn't do this. You could end a lovely neighbourly friendship as it smacks of taking a liberty. What is something went wrong with her machine? Do you have other friends nearby who you could ask to do a load for you? Or there is always a launderette.

Please check she hadn't switched the water off before you set a load going.!

It's odd that you have the sort of relationship to think it's ok just to pop in and use her stuff, but not one that means she's mentioned that she's going away ...

@cervixuser

I'd have no problem with this - I'd probably be more offended if you used a launderette when I have a machine next door doing nothing

Me too. Your relationship points to her being perfectly happy.

We can all give opinions but you know your relationship and if it's ok. I suspect as you're posting here your instinct is telling you it might be a step too far or at least risking that it is?

Do you need to do the washing, or just don't want piles of laundry around?

See this is why I wouldn't give a neighbour a key, don't want then thinking they can go in my house whenever they want. If you're feeding their cat etc. its different but sorry I think this is cheeky as she's not expecting it and hasn't had a chance to object.

Well you're not that close if she hasn't mentioned going away.

One of my neighbours has keys to my house. I'd be seriously pissed off if they let themselves in to do a wash. Can't put my finger on why but I wouldn't like it. To save the awkwardness of asking for the keys back, I'd change the locks.

I remember being really annoyed when my next door neighbour used the toilet when they were feeding my cat. Why were they upstairs?! They were in my house for 5 minutes max, they could have used the loo before/after. It just made me feel snooped on.

I think she'd be fine with this. Unlike when I came home to find my NDN and her partner on my trampoline picking pears from my tree!

She was a proper CF.

Unless you know her very well, I don't think you should without asking first.

I think it's a bit cheeky to be honest. I'd find a laundrette.

If you are feeling a bit unsure I think that your instinct telling you it's a step too far. You're tempted cos youre in a pickle. Ask someone else who can actually give you permission or find a laundrette.

I think it might be a bit cheeky. I would want to have cleared that kind of ad hoc usage before doing it for the first time. Sorry...

If I trust you enough to come in my house with a key and borrow stuff, I'm not going to worry you've used my washing machine. Go for it.

Use a laundrette. I wouldn't go into her house without her knowing, despite what she may have said previously.

If you've asked her directly about the washing machine I wouldn't unless she says OK. Otherwise what is the point of asking.

You really need to ask first.

I haven't seen NDN for a day or two and she's not responding to calls or texts.

I've already texted, What's Appd her and PMd, without response.

At the very least I would go round to do a welfare check.

I'm amazed by everyone who says this would be fine. But then I'd never leave a key with a neighbour for any reason so clearly don't understand the dynamic to begin with!

It feels a bit different from just quickly nipping in to borrow something. For one, I never leave my washing machine unattended when it's on after hearing about fires/flooding etc. they can cause, so I wouldn't happy with someone coming to use mine when I'm away.

@HunterHearstHelmsley

Well you're not that close if she hasn't mentioned going away.

One of my neighbours has keys to my house. I'd be seriously pissed off if they let themselves in to do a wash. Can't put my finger on why but I wouldn't like it. To save the awkwardness of asking for the keys back, I'd change the locks.

To check - do you mean after they did something to piss you off, or just generally. Because paying for locks to be changed is a weird, and passive aggressive approach when you could just say, "Hey, can I please get my keys back as I'm giving a set to someone else."

OP, your relationship sounds like it would be fine EXCEPT you didn't even know she was going away. Since her cat died, has there been less to and fro'ing between you?

My neighbours leave their keys with me when they go away, that doesn’t give me the right to go in and watch the TV or use their washing machine . If you aren’t close enough that she mentioned she was going away then you aren’t close enough to use her stuff without asking .

@HunterHearstHelmsley

I remember being really annoyed when my next door neighbour used the toilet when they were feeding my cat. Why were they upstairs?! They were in my house for 5 minutes max, they could have used the loo before/after. It just made me feel snooped on.

How did you know?

And presumably they were upstairs in order to use the loo, no?