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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to use my neighbour's washing machine?

148 replies

kumquat365 · 13/08/2021 15:11

My NDN and I get on well and have had keys to each other's homes for years. I used to regularly look after her cat (now sadly gone to the great cattery in the catosphere) so was in and out while she wasn't at home. When she was having noisy building work done a couple of years ago she'd escape to my place during the day when I was out at work. If I've ever wanted to borrow something and she hasn't been around I've phoned her and she's said 'There's no need to ask, just let yourself in.' I say the same thing to her.

My washing machine died on Wednesday and I have guests coming to stay tomorrow. I thought I'd found a local company who could replace the machine today but that hasn't worked out. I need to do a couple of loads of washing.

I haven't seen NDN for a day or two and she's not responding to calls or texts. The neighbours across the street think she's on holiday for a few days — possibly abroad.

AIBU to nip in a do a couple of loads of washing? I will leave a bottle of wine and a note and make sure I use my own power etc.

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 13/08/2021 19:26

You shouldn't really use the laundry room in the sheltered housing either. All the residents will be paying towards that, why should some random do their washing in there.

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/08/2021 19:40

As others said if gave keys to house surprised she didn’t say

I’m going away can you keep an eye on house

But yes if that relationship use her machine

Opposite us has used our machine when she needed to

I used her Shower and loo when having bathroom done

NalPolishRemover · 13/08/2021 19:43

I would just order a set of sheets / duvet cover from the supermarket to be delivered in the morning.
There's no way I would enter her house to use her machine without her permission

I agree with all the others. You have no idea where she is or why she's not home or even IF she's not home- could be ill with phone off...

It's vv cheeky imo

InFiveMins · 13/08/2021 19:43

I'd say this is fine too. Really wouldn't bother me at all.

YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 13/08/2021 19:46

@spooney21

I wouldn't in a million years without asking first. Not even with a good friend. Family yes, but how embarrassing if they walked in. I think if you were close enough to share washing machines you would've known she was going away.
If my best mate needed a washing machine and DIDN’T use mine in these circumstances, I’d think she’d lost her marbles!

Seriously, if I found out she’d needed to and didn’t I’d be ‘Mate, WTF?! Of COURSE you should have used it! Nut job to even ask!’

Sparklingbrook · 13/08/2021 20:00

If my best mate needed to use my washing machine I'd just tell her to bring the washing round and I'd put it in for her. But that's my best mate who would speak to me about it.
Also my best mate doesn't have a key to my house.

pinkmoon18 · 13/08/2021 20:06

I would say yes it's fine but I would like to know before hand.
I get she hasn't replied yet but if I seen several messages asking then one saying they've done it anyway I think I'd be abit miffed

Dontwatchfootball · 13/08/2021 20:23

My NDN and I were like this before they moved - it would not have bothered me at all if they did this and vice versa.

Original poster
kumquat365 · 13/08/2021 22:26

Well, the deed is done: I used the facilities at my friend's mother's place.

It occurred to me as I parked up and saw the dark windows next door that there was perhaps a million to one chance that. she was in there, gravely ill. So I knocked and rang (as I did earlier) and then used my key to go in and (trigger warningl) even go upstairs and check. The house is empty. The bins have been emptied. She must have gone away while I was away earlier this week.

I'm going to bed. I'll deal with all the allegations of invading her privacy/ abusing the front door key/ going upstairs without permission etc tomorrow.

OP posts:
stayathomer · 13/08/2021 22:40

Hope the visit goes well and you get your machine soon opBrew

Original poster
kumquat365 · 14/08/2021 08:53

Cheers, stayathomer. Yes, next hurdle is choosing the replacement washing machine. I had the last one for 12 years and I hear so many people complaining about their new ones that it's made me a bit nervous.

OP posts:
Wynston · 14/08/2021 09:45

Look at miele op

TSSDNCOP · 14/08/2021 15:56

I would give no shits if my friend that has a key to my house used my washing machine, or anything else come to think of it.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 14/08/2021 16:01

Op if you've asked her 3 times via text, whatsapp and facebook and she hasn't replied I'm guessing that's a no......

TSSDNCOP · 14/08/2021 16:27

Or she hasn't got a data plan that operates overseas.

Original poster
kumquat365 · 14/08/2021 23:21

She's back. Arrived back some time this afternoon while I was out. I went round about an hour or so ago to say I'd been into the house because I got a bit worried she wasn't answering her phone. She's been on a canal boat with her sister and brother-in-law and their children and her phone is somewhere in the canal — one of the children dropped it overboard. She couldn't understand why I hadn't just gone in and used her washing machine. So all's well that ends well.

Not sure I can afford a Miele but I can take a look, can't I?

OP posts:
Gladioli23 · 15/08/2021 07:20

Glad to hear she's back and alright (even if her phone isn't!), and pleased and interested to see that a more relaxed approach is her way as well.

Original poster
kumquat365 · 15/08/2021 08:48

Yes, we are both like that — but clearly a lot of people aren't.

OP posts:
PieceOfString · 15/08/2021 09:02

Bet you wish you'd never asked now 😆 alls well that ends well and now you know where her boundaries are. Good stuff

Original poster
kumquat365 · 15/08/2021 11:52

Yes, now wishing I'd just nipped in, done the washing and not asked here. Lesson learned.

OP posts:
PieceOfString · 15/08/2021 12:58

Hindsight is a marvellous thing though isn't it. It's the sort of thing that could easily have gone the other way, if this thread shows nothing else it's that people see things so very differently.

Bebethany · 15/08/2021 18:25

How could she be on holiday or abroad without mentioning it too you? Seems odd when you’ve got such a lovely neighbourly relationship, are you sure she’s not lying in a ditch somewhere!

Owl55 · 15/08/2021 18:30

Maybe by not replying to all your messages is her way of avoiding having to say “No” ???

Kiduknot · 15/08/2021 18:34

I would have, but then my neighbours are friends too.

cheeseychovolate · 15/08/2021 18:42

No I don't think it's a good idea. She's not expecting anyone to go inside her house while she's away. I would not be happy if my neighbour did this and I'd be asking for my key back. Use a laundrette.