Housemate who secretly recorded us has been made a lecturer at UK university

[Smurfsarethefuture]

I cannot be unreasonable here. I wrote on here about two yrs ago about my housemate who hid a camera in our kitchen. He is now a lecturer at a London uni.

The police were not interested neither was landlady- I didn’t contact university and am now wondering should I?

@DeathStare

Why would him being a lecturer be important? I mean, you knew he'd have some job so why is this relevant?

I'm really not sure why any employer would care that a man put a camera in his own (albeit shared) kitchen.

Because it's a position of trust and authority.

Because filming people without consent in their own home is not acceptable. Because how do you know he didn't place other cameras that were not found?

If you do something shitty you shouldn't be surprised when people "cause trouble" for you by reporting it.

A lot of these replies are reminiscent of the attitude that allowed a murderer to walk the streets with a police warrant card - "oh it's just flashing, it's not a big deal, don't make a fuss"...

I am a bit shocked at the responses as he created a very difficult situation.

Being an arsehole is not illegal.

I notice to have ignored all the questions about what you expect the university to actually do about this.

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

Thank you. I also thought that the police kept records to see if there were patterns of behaviour. So, nothing is done unless there are several concerns.

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

OP I have some experience of this. An ex boyfriend from when I was 18 had secretly filmed us having sex and distributed it to his mates. This wasn't illegal back then but at the time I called the police anyway and they went to his house and gave him a bit of a fright off and he destroyed the copies he had. I heard nothing more of it except some taunting texts from his friend.

12 years later I found out he was a teacher in a secondary school! I wrote to the Head but he wasn't interested and very much turned it on me to look like a bitter vengeful hag on the upside he applied to the school I currently teach at a couple of years ago and when I told my (amazing) Head what he'd done he believed me and bumped him off the interview list and told him exactly why. Ex denied it and made noises about legal action but as suspected it came to nothing.

Making a film of you having sex and distributing it is a bit different to filming housemates in a kitchen. Unless they were having sex in the kitchen which sounds inappropriate in a shared house.

I totally think what op describes is worrying. The trouble is she can’t now slander someone who the police chose not to investigate and charge and convict. It doesn’t mean op isn’t right to be worried but that worry doesn’t translate into her being right to be in touch with his new employer !

Some of these replies are a bit shocking. This is the type of story that shows up years after something much more sinister has happened and people question why it was never raised.

Yes it could be an isolated incident but filming someone without their consent even in a public area of a house (and calling at kitchen in a private home public is already a stretch) is questionable behaviour.

Why won't you answer all the questions about why he was filming?

A lot of these replies are reminiscent of the attitude that allowed a murderer to walk the streets with a police warrant card - "oh it's just flashing, it's not a big deal, don't make a fuss"...

Flashing is illegal.

The police have already investigated.

This happened two years ago.

If the op wants the investigation to be opened, I’d have no problem at all with them going to to police. I don’t know what on earth she expects the university to do now.

He sounds like a complete dick, but I don’t think anything you’ve said indicates he is an actual risk to his students. Hopefully he’s either matured or, failing that, that his employers will be quick to pull him up on any bad behaviour.

Some of these replies are a bit shocking. This is the type of story that shows up years after something much more sinister has happened and people question why it was never raised.

What do you think the uni will do?

The appropriate action was/is to raise it with the police.

Going to repeat this question - Why did he put a camera in the kitchen?

I was one of the first responses - I asked why the police were not interested. I don't think that was 'passive'. I needed context.

There is another post on here where a woman's husband has watched/filmed her naked in her bedroom. He is being called a creep and sleazy.

What career would you be comfortable with him having? Did you expect him to be unemployed? You can't tell tales to someone's employer just because you don't like the person.

You need to let it go, as he did not comit a criminal act.

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

The camera was on the window sill hidden behind something but an an angle. He then moved it to the front house window, low to the ground. I don’t know why he was recording both sound and visual. I don’t know why, food was not an issue, conversations? Us in our pjs? He did it after the man who had been living there left and there were 3 women in the house with him.

Nobody is saying he was right to do this.

@LouHotel

Some of these replies are a bit shocking. This is the type of story that shows up years after something much more sinister has happened and people question why it was never raised.

Yes it could be an isolated incident but filming someone without their consent even in a public area of a house (and calling at kitchen in a private home public is already a stretch) is questionable behaviour.

If you are in a houseshare the kitchen is a shared or public area, I can't see what is a stretch about that.

"12 years later I found out he was a teacher in a secondary school! I wrote to the Head but he wasn't interested and very much turned it on me to look like a bitter vengeful hag hmm on the upside he applied to the school I currently teach at a couple of years ago and when I told my (amazing) Head what he'd done he believed me and bumped him off the interview list and told him exactly why. Ex denied it and made noises about legal action but as suspected it came to nothing."

This is completely insane, almost as wild as the OP. 12 years later! I can imagine the posters trying to rationalise this behaviour as some sort of safekeeping, but it belongs on one of those petty revenge threads.

I understand that it must have been very unpleasant for you at the time, OP, but my feeling is that you need to let go of it and move on - for your own sake.

I don't think that contacting the university will achieve anything positive and will just prolong your stress.

Try not to let him get to you after all these years, whatever his motivation might have been. Good luck.

I completely agree that what he did was wrong and the OP did the right thing in contacting the police. However, there isn't much else she can do.
You can't contact his employer over this.

[quote Smurfsarethefuture]@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

Thank you. I also thought that the police kept records to see if there were patterns of behaviour. So, nothing is done unless there are several concerns.[/quote]
Sadly because the police only gave my ex a ticking off that's not documented AIBU only have my word.

I say go for it you have nothing to lose.

I'm also surprised at the responses here. I used to walk around naked when I was home alone at Uni this would have deeply disturbed me

Op I think the issue is that there are loads of wicked people around. Many in high places and positions of trust. Unfortunately, without 100% concrete proof, those of us who are decent and honest just end up having to let these wicked people carry on. Terrible state of affairs, but it is reality.

What do you want to happen to him and why haven't you pursued it til now?

I didn’t get past the desk clerk at the station who said it was the landlady’s responsibility.

This is shocking to me but clearly not to others. I haven’t contacted his university (also where he did his PhD) as I can see without evidence it all looks strange and as someone has said, rules exist to protect us all from malicious allegations. Just feel there must be a legitimate course of action to take in a situation like this and frustrated that there isn’t.

@bongsuhan

"12 years later I found out he was a teacher in a secondary school! I wrote to the Head but he wasn't interested and very much turned it on me to look like a bitter vengeful hag hmm on the upside he applied to the school I currently teach at a couple of years ago and when I told my (amazing) Head what he'd done he believed me and bumped him off the interview list and told him exactly why. Ex denied it and made noises about legal action but as suspected it came to nothing."

This is completely insane, almost as wild as the OP. 12 years later! I can imagine the posters trying to rationalise this behaviour as some sort of safekeeping, but it belongs on one of those petty revenge threads.

It’s completely different to the OP. You really think a man who distributed covert videos of his teenage girlfriend having sex should be teaching in a secondary school? If he’s done it shortly after when it rightly became a crime he would be on some kind of register with a criminal record! You’d honestly be fine with this ‘man’ teaching your teenagers? That’s worrying.

@Smurfsarethefuture

I don’t know. I don’t suppose they can do anything but I am happy to make a statement. There is something very wrong here. For the record, I spoke to another police man who said that, as the camera was in the kitchen who was a grey area - you are entitled to privacy in certain areas and the kitchen was shared/communal however we should have been told.

That is incorrect. Only a landlord can have cameras in communal settings and then they have to register with the ICO and abide to the guidelines set out. Someone setting up a (presumably covert) camera in a shared space.

I think it's gross, but sadly there's not much point reporting him, as you know they won't do anything.